Sometime during the night, my eyes flutter open. I'm on my bed, so it was certainly not a dream that I had about Zack.
Though right now, he's not on the bed with me, and I know that because I can hear his voice.
"Yeah. She's okay." He says. He's on a phone call, but with who?
The person says something and he sighs. "I'm not so sure about that. She's upset with me."
Is it Audrey?
I turn so I'm lying on my other side, facing the window. That's where he's standing, but his back is to me.
"I was going to tell her everything tonight, but I guess I chickened out."
What?
"Why?" He repeats the person's question. "Fuck, she's so disappointed in me. I hurt her too much this time. She thinks I was with someone else."
Okay, so not Audrey.
"No. I know Aubrey. We've been best friends since we were 10, man. I already know how she's going to react to something even before she reacts, and I knew she was going to hate herself if I told her. She was going to pity me, and you know how much we hate people pitying us."
Zack turns to face me, but he can't see my eyes because of the darkness, so I leave them open.
"She'll be fine. She'll get over it. She always does."
She always does.
The person says something, and then Zack laughs. "Fuck you, Chris. I know she won't leave me." He starts to walk towards me and that's when I shut my eyes.
His brother.
"She's too in love with me to even welcome the thought of being away from me." He adds.
I feel bile rise up my throat.
She's too in love with me? I thought we were in love with each other. Now he's talking like an arrogant dick, saying I'm too in love with him.
Chris says something that makes Zack scoff. "Me? Yeah, I like her, but she's always been my best friend, and that's what she'll always be. We can't afford to give to anyone, remember? We can only take."
It's taking everything in me not to scream at the top of my lungs. To yell at Zack and ask him what the fuck he's saying to his brother. To ask him why he's telling all these lies.
But I don't. Because maybe he's not lying. Maybe he's telling the truth to his brother. Maybe he's been playing me all this while.
She's always been my best friend, and that's what she'll always be.
What kind of sicko does something like that to his best friend?
"Okay, later then."
I hear Zack drop his phone on the bedside table, and then he's on the bed, and because I turned, we're now face to face.
His arm comes around my waist and he pulls me even closer, kissing my forehead, my hair, my neck, sending unwelcome tingles down my spine.
"I love you. I'm sorry. I love you."
I already know I'm about to cry, so one wrong move and I'll burst into tears. But that would let Zack know that I'm awake, and he'll try to use some stupid tactic to change my mind.
"It'll all be okay. I promise."
____________
By morning, when I open my eyes, Zack is still holding me in his arms, even tighter than he did before I fell asleep the second time. His head is buried in my neck, and he's snoring softly.
I try to free myself from his grasp, but it's like he's conscious of how tightly he's snuggled up to me, because it's impossible to free myself.
"Zack..."
To be honest, I'd hoped that he'd be gone by the time I woke up, but at the same time, a bigger part of me is elated that he stayed.
"Babe?" I call out again, still trying to release myself.
"Hmm?" He hums sleepily.
"We have to go to school, remember?"
Eyes still closed, he mutters. "No we don't."
I roll my eyes at what he's suggesting. I've skipped school with Zack too many times not to understand what he's trying to say.
"Yes, we do. I'm not letting you skip today."
Zack groans and I have to concentrate on the ceiling because I hate what that groan just did to me.
"What time is it?" His eyes are still closed.
"6:30."
It happens so fast that I don't even have time to react. He lifts one of my legs so that it's over his, and he pulls me closer so that I'm feeling his morning erection pressing into me.
He opens his beautiful dark blue eyes, and then he says in a husky whisper. "Ten more minutes."
Oh, hell no.
Right before his lips collide with mine, I slam my hands over my mouth.
"I haven't brushed my teeth."
I know that that has never been a hindrance to us making out, but if we go through with this, we're definitely gonna be late for school. And I've already been warned twice by the teacher.
Zack rolls his eyes. "Don't care, now take your hand away."
I do as I'm told, and Zack meets my lip with his, slipping his tongue in my mouth almost immediately.
He slips his hand under my shirt, beginning to massage my breasts, and a moan escapes my mouth.
Before I know it, Zack has rolled on top of me, and I can feel his erection even more now.
I arch my back as he grinds his lower half into mine. The only thing separating us is the boxers he's wearing, and my panties.
All of a sudden, I really don't care if I run late today. I want him. Now. And I know he knows it, because he's touching me through my panties.
"You're so ready for me." He whispers, taking his finger to the waistband of my panties and pulling it down.
My body aches for him, for his touch. I want him inside me right this second.
"Fuck!" He cusses when I arch into him for the second time. He's playing with my clit, teasing me just enough but not going in.
"Tell me to stop, Aubrey."
I do the exact opposite of what he says. I use my legs to pull his boxers down so he's free.
"I don't want you to."
Zack tenses. "Are you sure you want this, baby?" He raises his head so he's staring into my eyes.
Hell yes I'm sure.
I rest my legs on his waist so we're even closer, and so that he knows how bad I want this.
I nod, and Zack dives his head down, taking my lips with his again, and a second later, he's pushing into me. Slowly.
Only the head of his cock is in me, and I can already hear my pulse in my ears.
I'm getting impatient. Why can't he just...
"Honey, are you awake y..."
After that, I'm not even aware of what's going on. But by the time my mom opens the door fully with rage in her eyes, I know that this is the end for me.
"Mom, I can explain!"
"You'd better start then. It's almost seven o'clock and you're still in bed. Did you forget you have school?"
It's then I notice that I'm alone in bed.
She didn't see him. Thank the stars.
"Um, I guess I overslept, mom. I'm sorry?"
Mom rolls her eyes, then sighs. "Just get ready, okay? You're gonna make Zack wait again."
And then she's gone.
What just happened?
"Well, that went well." I hear Zack's voice. He's on the floor, and he looks like he's in pain.
"Did I push you?" I ask him.
He scoffs, standing up. "As if you could. I just moved as quick as I could. And thankfully, we were under the duvet or else she'd have seen you."
This is a huge disappointment, honestly.
"Where we really about to have sex for the first time while I was still in a shirt?" I ask.
"And without a condom." He adds, fighting a smile. "We really got carried away, didn't we?"
Zack throws his shirt over his head, bending over to kiss my forehead.
I still have this ache in me that hasn't been satisfied, and it's fucking frustrating that my mom had to interrupt.
"Uh oh. I know that face. You're upset."
I don't argue with him on that. "Well, yeah. Who wouldn't be?" I sit up.
Zack laughs. Hard.
I glare at him and his laughter ceases abruptly. He sighs, kissing me again. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. We have a lot of time to do whatever we want to do, okay? Now go get dressed before your mom comes in again."
____________
"You guys think we could go ice-skating this weekend?" Tyler asks.
"Yeah, I mean I have nothing to do Saturday so..." Erika replies.
I shrug. "That would be cool. It's been a while since we went out together."
I slurp on my spaghetti, shrugging again when Peyton quirks a brow at me.
"What? It's really good."
It's been a really long time since the cafeteria had good spaghetti, and I'm a sucker for good spaghetti.
"My dad is likely to have a job for me at the garage, but I guess I could take a break." Nick says.
I notice the way Erika's smile widens. She says there's something sexy about having a hot boyfriend that works in a garage.
I look around the lunch room one more time for any sign of Zack. He's not here. No one has seen him since the period before lunch.
I mean, I know where he is, but...
After the conversation with his brother two nights ago, I've felt like the more we spend apart, the more I lose him.
And I know I've been clingy. Extra clingy.
And I also know that by being clingy, I'm actually showing him that I love him too much, just like he said to his brother. I'm literally proving it to him.
And I know it's pathetic, but I just want him to love me just as much. I want to be hopeful that he was lying to his brother that night.
"Oh, hell no." I hear Erika whisper sharply, glaring at something behind me.
I turn around and...
He's bringing Audrey towards us. Here. To our table.
"What is she doing here?" Erika doesn't have a filter. She expresses her distaste whenever she wants to.
Audrey glances at Zack for help, acting all innocent and whatnot.
Zack rolls his eyes. "I thought it'd be nice to invite her to lunch."
"But..."
"She's my friend, Erika." Zack shoots her a stare and she grits her teeth.
I place my hand over hers on the table, trying to calm her down. Erika hates Audrey even more than I do, and I know that mybecause they have history, like, elementary school history. Long before I met her.
The table goes quiet as both of them sit down. Zack beside me, and Audrey beside him.
The funny thing is Zack doesn't even talk to me, much less look at me.
Tyler clears his throat awkwardly. "So, um, Aubrey's birthday is coming up. That's something to look forward to."
I fix him with a glare. Of all the topics in the world, he chose that one? My birthday's not even supposed to be a topic.
"Yeah!" Peyton agrees. "We should totally celebrate your 18th birthday."
I pinch my forehead. "No, guys, seriously. I don't want to celebrate."
I haven't celebrated my birthday since my dad left. My birthday's worthless without him around.
"Good thing we're not listening to you then." Zack says, finally turning to look at me.
I roll my eyes.
"She obviously doesn't want to celebrate, you don't have a force it on her. Besides, I'll be having a new years party at my place that day."
I can feel my annoyance rising to the surface at Audrey's words.
"No one asked for your opinion." I tell her.
"Yeah." Erika adds. "And who says we're coming to your party anyway?"
"Can you two please be nice to her? I brought her here to make friends, not for you guys to hate on her." Zack says darting his eyes between Erika and I, then settling on me.
Erika scoffs. "Yeah, good luck with that. I'm outta here." She stands up and leaves the table.
Nick goes after her.
I shake my head at Zack. At first it was "I know you hate her, I hate her too."
And then it was "she's going through a lot and I'm just trying to be there for her."
And then "I'm not picking her over you. It's not a choice, but if it was, I'd pick you everytime."
And now it's this. Bringing her to our circle. Someone whom he knows we all dislike. Someone who's always been a bitch to me.
"Seriously, Zack? When are you going to see her for who she really is?"
I almost say that Audrey's faking everything, but I decide against it, because it might be real, and not a plot to snatch my boyfriend. Add the fact that she's sitting right beside him.
But at homecoming night, she seemed genuine...
'I told you I couldn't even hurt my worst enemy like that.'
But she...
I believed at first, that she was sick, and I pitied her, but I can't keep doing that. If she needs help, then her parents are supposed to be aware. Zack has no idea what he's doing.
"We'll talk about this later, okay?" Zack says to me.
I roll my eyes at him, sighing.
But I nod anyway.