I waste no time taking my clothes off, and then I'm running towards the water.
"Zack!"
I'm about to start panicking because I don't know the first thing about swimming, when I hear his voice.
"You'd make a terrible lifeguard." He says as his head emerges from the water.
He was messing with me.
"Oh, you are so dead!" I mutter dangerously. Why would he do something like that?
And who the hell drowns in a stream?!
Zack pushes his wet hair backwards, and when his eyes meet mine, his mouth opens slightly.
He rakes his eyes over my lace clad body. Slowly.
Wait. Lace clad?
It's then I realise that I'm in my underwear. A black lace bra and panties to match.
"Damn, Aubrey." He whispers as his eyes meet mine again.
Heat creeps up my neck. "Stop staring at me like that." Zack and I have kissed a lot, and he's tried crossing to second base lots of times, but I'm always either fully clothed, or in a t-shirt.
So yeah, he's never seen me in underwear, but he's seen me naked. And yeah, although that was an accident, and carelessness on my part, it's also the reason I've been afraid to open up.
I mean, he'd laughed. At my body.
Zack rolls his eyes. "Come on in."
"I can't swim, you know that."
He quirks a brow, swimming closer to the shore. "I'm here, aren't I?"
I purse my lips, taking a deep breath, and start going in the water.
When I'm only halfway in, Zack takes my legs and wraps them around his waist, and I gasp, having been taken by surprise.
"You're such a jerk, you know that, right? Pretending to drown and scaring me like that."
He laughs. "Honestly, with the time you wasted, you should be glad I wasn't actually drowning or I'd have been dead by now."
"Don't say that." I scold, leaning my forehead against his. "I was gonna call someone. I probably would've drowned with you if I went in."
"Oh yeah? Who were you gonna call?"
I shrug, lacing my hands behind his neck. "Anyone. Your mom, maybe."
Zack's face falls.
Way to go, Aubrey.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mention..."
He cuts me off by crushing my lips with his, kissing me fiercely.
I know what he's doing. It's what he's been doing since I started trying to ask him questions about his past, about what had happened before we moved next door.
I could question him, but I'd rather not start another fight, and being this close to him is better than any fight.
So yeah, I kiss him back, lacing my fingers in his hair, and he groans into my mouth in response.
Zack trails a hand along my thighs while his other hand holds me firmly to him, and I feel his erection prod me. My thighs reflexively lock tighter around his torso.
Maybe this will be good for us. He gives what he's willing to give, and I take whatever he gives to me. It's fine not to tell me about his past, as long as he's fully in the present. Here. With me.
This will end in a disaster.
No, it won't. Fuck you, subconscious.
He pulls away, and when his eyes meet mine, they're black with want. We both want each other, I can tell by how hard we're breathing.
"Zack..."
"Yeah?" His lips latch onto my neck, and then he's licking, sucking, biting, moving down to my breasts.
I shiver, but maybe it's because the water's getting really cold.
Or because you're totally turned on right now.
I don't know what comes over me when I reach between us, to the front of his boxers. Zack stills when I begin to trace him through his boxers.
"What're you doing?" He pants, resting his forehead against mine.
"I don't know, I just..." I bite my bottom lip, just the way he likes it. "I need you."
I need all of you, but I'll take what I can get.
"Aubrey, we..."
"Both want this." I finish for him, reaching behind me to unhook my bra, unsure where my bravery's coming from.
If biting my lips was enough for him to hesitate, then I need to go the extra mile.
His fingers dig into my ass, and I moan when his mouth latches onto my nipple, sucking, biting, while his hand massages the other.
"God, Aubrey." He breathes. "What's gotten into you?"
I unhook my legs from his torso, letting the water come up to my waist.
"If you don't want this..."
"No, I do. Fuck! I'm just not sure this is the right place for our first time together."
Wow. I'm not sure I've ever felt this rejected before. It's probably because I'm not attractive enough. I'm not as hot as the other girls he's had sex with.
"Oh."
I grab my bra, turning away from him, and start to move out of the water.
"Aubrey, wait. Where are you going?"
"Home." I choke out, pulling my jeans up my legs. "Where else?"
Wasted effort.
I put my shirt on and turn to see that he's doing the same thing.
"What're you doing? This is where you come to think, right? You need to do a lot of that."
He rolls his eyes. "Don't be stupid. You can't walk all the way home, there's not a car in sight. And let's face it," he moves closer so he's towering over me. "Your mom will kill me if something happens to you, so I'm coming with you."
I push my hair backwards, glaring at him. He can be so infuriating.
"I didn't reject you, if that's what you're thinking." He continues.
I don't know why, but a laugh escapes my lips.
"Really? Because that's exactly what it looked like."
Zack sighs, pinching his eyes shut. I continue. "I get it, you know. I'm not sex...."
"Finish that sentence, Aubrey, and I swear to God I will pick you up and throw you into the water and make sure you drown, and that would be a huge shame because you're the sexiest woman I've ever met."
He opens his eyes, and, oh fucking hell, I feel like they're staring into my soul.
I roll my eyes, trying to pretend that there's no tingling sensation in my core. "I think you're lying to me. I'm nowhere as hot or bootylicious as the other girls you've slept with."
Zack stares at me for all of five seconds, before he bursts into laughter.
"What?"
"Bootylicious? Really?" He's full-on laughing.
"I'm not joking, Zack." I bite the inside of my cheek really hard to prevent myself from laughing. I'm supposed to be upset, but Zack's laughter is too contagious.
"Neither am I." He says, then bursts into another round of laughter.
I inhale deeply. "That's it. I'm leaving."
I start to walk towards the trees again when I'm suddenly being lifted off the ground and thrown over Zack's shoulder.
"You're not leaving without me."
I huff. "You're an asshole, you know that, right?"
"Yeah, but you love me anyway." The moment he says that, there's an awkward silence. Zack clears his throat. "I didn't mean..."
When we were bestfriends(and we still are), we used to tell each other "I love you" a lot, but since the first time we almost kissed, saying it felt...I don't know, awkward.
I couldn't say it for fear that Zack wouldn't say it back, I mean, I don't just love him, I'm in love with him, but look what happened just now.
"I get it." I sigh. "Just be careful next time, okay?"
Be careful next time? Really, Aubrey?
He doesn't reply, dropping me back on my feet when we get to his car.
"I'm sorry about what I said to Audrey earlier." I tell him when we're on the road. "I just...got out of control, I guess."
A second passes with no reply. Two seconds. Three... "I know." He sighs. "I don't blame you for it. You've never been friends."
He glances at me, giving me a tight smile. "Just avoid any conversation with her from now on, okay?"
"She told me you're going over to her place tonight."
"Yeah." He mutters. "I am."
I really hoped that Audrey had lied to me.
"Right." I bite the inside of my cheek. "You didn't think I deserved to know."
His knuckles turn white from how hard he clutches the steering wheel. "Will you ever stop making assumptions, Aubrey?"
"I think I have the right to make assumptions, Zack, because that's what happens when you refuse to tell me anything."
Fuck. We're fighting again.
There's a moment of silence before he reaches for my hand on the center console.
He glances at me. "You're right. I'm sorry, okay?" I feel him draw soothing circles on the back of my hand.
"I'm just going to check on her. Nothing more than that. If you don't want me to go, I won't."
I'm dumbstruck. "No, um... it's fine. You should check on her, she probably needs you to."
Zack seeking my opinion? Well that's a first.
He glances at me as he makes a turn into our street, then nods.
"It's not a choice, you know?" He says when my hand moves to open the door. "but if it was, I'd pick you, everytime."
I'd pick you, everytime.
I'm pretty sure my heart melts into a puddle from his words.
"Zack..."
He leans in, meeting my lips with his, giving me a lingering kiss. The lightest feather's touch.
Leaving me wanting more than a kiss. More than sex even.
What happened to you, Zack?
"I'll see you later, okay?" He whispers against my lips.
"Okay." I reply, and then I'm out the door.
____________
"Oooh! Is there something special happening tonight?" I sing as I hurry down the stairs towards the kitchen.
I could smell something cooking all the way from my room.
"Not really." Mom replies as she brings out a tray of brownies from the oven. "Just the usual girls' night."
I sit at the kitchen counter. "Today's Thursday, mom. Not Monday."
"Which makes it even more special. You should even be thankful I'm letting you have snacks after dinner."
I narrow my eyes at her as she brings out two glasses, but that doesn't even surprise me. What surprises me is the fact that she opens up her liquor cabinet and drops a bottle of chocolate vodka on the counter.
What the hell? My mom would never let me drink her vodka. Her wine, maybe. But not her vodka!
"What are you doing, mom?" I ask her. She looks at me, but avoids eye contact. It's then I know something's wrong.
"What? Do you not like brownies anymore? I ordered pizza just in case."
"Mom! You're letting me drink vodka."
"So? Lots of parents let seventeen year olds take alcohol."
"Yeah, but not you. What's going on?"
I've never seen her like this.
She sighs. "Put the brownies in a plate and take it to the living room."
"Sure." I mutter, hopping down from the stool and moving to do what she asked me to.
She takes the vodka and glasses and leaves the kitchen.
When I get to the living room, she's pouring the drinks into our glasses.
"What're we watching?" I ask her as I sit down on the couch. She'll let me know what's bothering her soon enough. Any moment from now.
She raises her glass to her lips and just gulps the entire thing down.
Holy shit!
She pours another round. "I don't know. Why don't you pick?" She sits down beside me.
"It's your turn, not mine."
"Doesn't matter." She snaps. Too harshly.
"Okay, that's it. Tell me what's going on or I'll go upstairs right now and you won't see me until tomorrow."
She looks forward, and I notice that she swallows thickly.
Almost got you.
I make a move to stand up and she starts. "I think Andrew wants to propose."
"What?" Maybe I didn't hear her clearly.
Mom looks at me, looking completely freaked out. "I think Andrew wants to propose to me." She repeats slowly.
I'm completely and utterly stupefied. The only thing I'm able to do is pick up my glass and take a sip of vodka. Two sips. Three sips. Four sips.
"What...um...what makes you think he wants to propose? You've only been dating for almost two months."
"I'm thirty-six, Aubrey, not twenty-one. Andrew's in his forties. We don't have to date for a year or two before..." She swallows. "Plus, it's three months. Not two."
I roll my eyes. "Right. The one month you kept from me."
"We talked on the phone this evening, and I heard Alex in the background talking about a jeweler and a ring, I don't know..."
"What if they were talking of something else? What if you heard wrong?"
Mom shakes her head slightly. "I heard right. Alex said my name, and I think Andrew freaked out, because he put me on hold for a few seconds, probably to talk to his son, and when he came on again, he sounded kind of nervous, and he ended the call."
"This is crazy." We both take sips of our drinks. "But you love him, right?"
The first time I'd asked her that question, she'd said she didn't know yet because they hadn't been dating for long.
But now, she runs a hand through her hair. "Yeah. Yeah, I love him."
Good. She deserves to find love.
"So why are you freaking out?" I begin to nibble on a brownie.
"I don't know. Jade thinks I'm just scared of getting married again."
Jade is my mom's friend. Her only friend actually. Mom's usually really busy and doesn't have time to socialize, which explains my previous shock when I found out she was seeing someone.
"Are you scared, though?"
"Yeah, but not of marriage. I'm just scared of what might happen. After."
My lips quiver involuntarily. I know she's talking about my dad. I used to think they were the perfect couple and that they would always be together, but look what happened.
"You have something to say, just say it." Mom whispers.
"Seeking advice from your teenage daughter, huh?" I start, and she laughs. "I don't know what to say, mom. Just that you should enjoy it while and lasts, and stop thinking about the future.
"Apart from that, you'd better not reject his proposal. I'd really like Alex to be my brother." I give her a pointed look.
Alex and I have been getting along pretty well, and I'm starting to see him as my brother already. A few days ago, we'd had dinner together at their house. All I can say is, it would hurt if his dad and my mom don't end up together.
Andrew's been lonely for a really long time too. They both deserve to be happy.
Mom smiles at me with glassy eyes. "Does this mean..."
"Yes, mom." I lean in to kiss her cheek. "I want you to be happy. And I happen to adore Andrew, so you're all good."
Mom wraps her arms around me. "I love you, honey. So much."
"I love you too."