But with Marnie, I know I am on safe hands. She will never leave me or abandon me if something goes wrong in our experiments. I am sure, things will turn out great. I hope so! You know now that I have realized it, it was never my family, bashers or bullies that made me feel inferior, it is me, who let others bring me down and mock me. I let them destroy the happiness, innocence and positivity I had for myself, my knowledge and love for myself. I have ended that mockery, pain, insecurity, comparison and end the belief that I am weak, stupid or really innocent. I am not and never will be. Like the song from Epic Music which I heard from Marnie’s grandma’s collection, There is a Hero in Us, I am my own hero, I am my own savior. God saves, people helps us but we need to help ourselves first too. Popularity, fortune and beauty wouldn’t last forever but character, honesty and respect does. I asked myself many times after I had this weird but awesome transformation, who I really was. Who am I?
I am me, Vicky, I am who I am meant to be, powerful, capable, limitless, beautiful, wonderful, loved and blessed. I have Marnie, my true friends and my team on the revolutionary program at the laboratory at Harvard. Blessed, hmm! I don’t really use this word since a military person is known to be courageous but not emotional, but I am different. I am a soldier for God, the world and the people in it. As they say in a quote, “woe to a man who have conquered the world but lost his soul”. I want to conquer the world but out of love and power of love. War is never right but when differences between countries isn’t resolved through peace talks they resort to this. But this should be the last resort, for we need to think about the innocent and the massive destruction wars has brought to nations, people and the world. I have read in Marnie’s old news clips, which is dilapidated but well kept, the war between Gaza in Palestine and Israel. It was the year 2021 of May. The two parties had a misunderstanding on religious practices, which has been done ever since in both countries. And both nations have Muslim and Jewish communities that it became harder for each to reconcile their differences. Authorities joined in and hurt the rioters and demonstrators, thus, making the citizens frantic over and despising each other.
I have seen the hells of war and it was never beautiful. Innocent people among them children dead in front of me, and I can’t do anything about it. In Iraq, we have been deployed there and for many years the war hasn’t stopped. The citizens there are already used to bombings and pretended that they were just fireworks in the air or sky but rockets fired by the U.S. army. Sad but true, I never liked the war. If not for my position as Captain I wouldn’t have signed up for the war. What was I thinking? Maybe because I wanted to serve my country and protect my people. But after the series of chaos and deaths, I was never sure who I was really protecting or saving. Hmm!
Marnie came in while I was dodling on my finger. Since I have the ability to hear people from a mile, I surely did hear Marnie’s footsteps. I pretended to be asleep when I heard she opened the door, maybe checking up on me for some reason. I feel tired from everything and the memories I had to replay on my mind again. It was all in the past and now I need to live the present. Yes, my present. Vicky fell sound asleep as she was repeating the words in her mind, “I will live in the present”.
I’m hungry, my tummy’s growling, Marnie thought. Vicky is asleep, so there’s nothing to worry about, for now. Haaaa!, that girl can be spooky sometimes, she gets to my nerves but I don’t want her to get angry with me. As if I’d die if she hated me. I love her, maybe. Hmm!, Okay to the kitchen.
Vicky is a heaven sent though really supernatural, well, paranormal or let’s just say not really that normal, for a woman at her age, I added while munching on the doughnut we had as left over yesterday. Dalia had it when she visited but I wasn’t able to thank her, so I should send her some thank you message now. Bing!.
You’re always welcome!, Dalia messaged back with a kiss emoticon. What a day this was!.