Loud sounds of a shattered plate came from the kitchen, made me pause- cutting my conversation with my twin brother.

Father cursed silently, we heard him picking up the pieces from the floor, Merlin's hand reached for mine instantly.

oh no, here comes trouble, I thought, my eyes wandered to him and I didn't miss that Merlin avoided my gaze . I looked at him confused for a second, insulted honestly, then I realized- my eyes were the problem, I sighed and let go of his hand. I took my eyes off him to ease him but I felt quite disappointed when he didn't even spare me a single glace.

Even though we're twins we don't have the same eyes, I'm not sure if that's normal or if I'm just being sensitive, but I don't like it. My brother's eyes have a light yellow color, shining in the sunlight- our grandma has the same eyes but we don't get to see her much ever since our mother's funeral .

And then there's mine- peach black, same as my late mom's eyes, one of the reasons why I came to dislike mirrors, or anything transparent in general . Like how my brother hates to look me in the eyes, for example cuz' it too hard for him . I wonder if with time it would make me dislike a part of me ,a part that makes me and the remaining of my family more miserable.

My dad came into the room and avoided eye contact with me so his eyes were set on my brother's. "Little Mers how about you'll go play outside for a while? my brother just called and he's on his way so i'll clean the house while you go and play"; he said.

Our parants have been calling us 'little Mers' cuz my brother's name start with MER and mine ends with one. Mer-lin and Ally-Mer.

Its was an idea that our parants came out with together after they found out we were gonna be twins. They wanted us to complete each other so that that we'll always relay on each other and think of one another.

I guess that worked since we were left alone so we also only HAVE each other now. Our hands were still tight together with each other when we ran out of the door and down to the floor below us.we actually doesn't know our father that much. After Mom gave birth to us we heard that he was with her for a few months at first and then suddenly left without any notice.

our mother had to raise us on her own and it is even worse considering the fact that we are two. with time she started to drink to keep herself sane. we went down the stairs since we didn't have an elevator in our building and kept silent with each other. we walked together on the same line.

I wasn't leading him and he didn't as well. it was us together, as one. take it or leave it. I wanna know why my dad left and I asked him that this very morning but he just seems to keep avoiding it and that is why I don't want to forgive him.

our mom worked her ass out so that we could survive while he stopped being responsible for us as a family. My brother used to be really close with our mother and he took it probably the hardest way.

Merlin told me once that I should forgive Mom at least. but I think I can't do it even more.