Death comes in colours.
It brings a mourning mystery of tension with it.
Knowing that death is inevitable doesn't help either.
It's a saddening silence that we don't, to a least bit like.
But, it is one to be borne, inescapably.
The very stench of death is different and... I love it.
It screams of a long awaited escape only leading to a new painful afterlife.
But look at us, always thinking, all that glitters is unmistakably gold.
Likewise, in the midst of black leather that still smells as fresh as though just brought in yesterday I sit surrounded by the same smell.
It is almost impossible to avoid. The white walls without the smallest visible speck of dirt on them, may portray purity to some but it is the colour of pain. For whatever is visible from near is visible to the farthest. And what's more painful than a continued scratching on a scath, no matter how old?
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I closed the book, my eyes getting tired of the little reading break I had taken amidst my work.
It was perfectly understandable why my temporarily-squinted-self was complaining. For one might've thought that after pursuing a degree in Interior Decor, the office at least would be vibrant with an entire new definition of classic fashion in full display.
That someone couldn't have been more wrong!
An office with the most contrasting colours meeting ones eyes never makes them jolly, even to a twenty-three year old graduate in interior design, like me.
With the target reached for today, I shut my computer down and just continue to yawn, in my comfy little black chair, spinning the spherical paper weight on just one point of contact.
Studying and working in New York, now also my home, it took an average girl like me an above average, roll over to set it all in line.
One Year!
That's what it took for my standoffish life to face the other side of the globe, marking a much needed end to a mediocre character and in return granting an adventurous sequel to a completely different one.
It was the day when I got my acceptance letter from my dream school in New York, my happiness knew no bounds.
However, just like every other time, my mother though, was very unhappy. She didn't want me to leave Delhi, let alone go to another continent to study.
Me being of a weaker sex, was the primary underlying issue for her unacceptance.
Not that she didn't trust me enough. Quite the opposite actually, she didn't trust the 'big bad world out there'.
My point of argument stood valid when I protested for the fact that just like a child falls and gets up every time, thereby learning to walk and no one stops him because they know, that is indeed is going to benefit him.
Why am I not conceded based on the same tactic? How shall I ever be able to take up the challenges life throws my way or even get first hand experience if I don't expand my field of approach?
But, the equitable life does know well exactly what buttons to push, and when.
Despair however, is, as always a very strict teacher.
It was actually really tough at first, to leave your hometown, get settled in a completely new place, but I managed, somehow.
For, had it not been him by my side, guiding me at every point possible never letting me stumble, I wouldn't have been able to take the very first step on my own.
For that, I owe him my everything.
Smiling to myself, and at my weird thoughts of late evening, the clock finally striking six, I once again lock up the disturbing past and head out to the management department.
With a fixed routine at hand, I'm able to only look into so much at the end of my shift.
Daytime goes occupied with the company's affairs that I don't mind a least bit about, after all I get paid handsomely.
However, this 'handsome' amount is brutally yanked out of the handsome category, when I pay for my rent, grocery and tuition fee at the community college.
Evenings are obviously spent listening to lectures and nights go by making notes for work next day. Exam times usually come out to be a bit hectic, but I'm able to manage.
I internally scoffed at that. Of course I'm 'able to manage' after everything I've been through in life.
The professors at my college often question me about as to why do I even need a higher degree after already being recruited as a secured employee in a company people die to get a job in.
The answer is majestically simple. When I return home, I want to prove to my mom that even with a course she had absolutely zero approval for, I'm not only doing extremely well but also enjoying my job.
This place that had me working as an interior designer for The Interior Decor, Chief Executive Officer - Minaxshi Grover, now for almost about nine months, has gotten me more attention than I deserved or needed.
The crazy part of it?
We are now extremely good friends.
Great, would define it rightly, I think.
My Indian boss, so not Indian, has a younger brother handling a business of his own. A well accomplished CEO of The Grover and Co. chain of hotels.
Pursuing her degree from New York, she started out young and is quite thorough with the management tactics.
I admire her.
She is a down to earth soul, which was why I was able to have an insight into her very personal and family life.
I, was simply shocked.
Her mother was in her thirties when she lost the battle to blood cancer and her father is well, not quite a father to his kids.
She said that her mom's death hit him hard and it was just too much for him. So he gave up. On his thirteen year old son and fifteen year old daughter, he just gave up.
I was surprised at first, but maybe true love did exist. I believed in it.
And somehow, him giving up like that, when she was still supposed to be alive, they were still supposed to grow old together, to play with their grandchildren, together, life wasn't fair to either of them.
She had told me once how she and her brother worked hard to give themselves a good sophisticated life, since all their dad did was to get himself drunk to such an extent that he would spend the entire night crying for the loss of their mother.
It broke my heart to listen to how much a man can love his wife, how much can he get lost when he lost the one true love of his life.
Needless to say, he didn't marry again. He was Just so broke, he couldn't even recognize his own kids.
The only day he would sober himself up would be their mother's death anniversary. She hated drinking so he wouldn't get drunk that day. But the next day, he would be all the more broken, all the more worse.
However there was more to the struggle. Apparently, things got worse when she shifted here and the family broke off completely.
Their lives have now reached to a point where they don't even know whether their dad is alive and if so, where he might be.
A sad and broken childhood, a broken family and an absence of parental care and concern, is too much for a young kid. But she and her younger brother not only went through it all, but came out of it as successful independent individuals.
Being the youngest myself, I can't even imagine her taking all the burden on herself, but seeing her now reaching heights with self attained establishment, she had really done great.
Obviously she has been a strong woman, now even stronger than before.
I know for sure, had her mother been alive, she would be so proud of both her kids. I just wish they get united with their father as well, so that just for once this family would be able to live the moments which a family deserves to live.
I knew the subject was touchy for her, so I didn't push her further. I let her tell me whatever she wanted to. Even though a lot of questions buzzed in my mind regarding the subject of her family, I stayed shut.
Our friendship was still new and she opened up more than I expected her to, and for that I really appreciate her.
Minaxshi had opened upto me because of two reasons, as she puts it.
One: I gave out a very comfortable vibe, and she felt an immediate connection the day I came for the interview.
(Which I thought to be very weird, because come on, I was after all a completely unknown employee.)
And two: She thinks she found a girl for her impossibly arrogant yet caring brother.
The moment she said this, I choked on my dearest fried chicken.
What the hell was this girl even thinking? Who pairs up their own brother with an absolutely unknown employee? Well, we were best friends now, but still.
She was impossible!
I hadn't met her brother and after what she had said, I had no interest either.
For some reason, I knew her brother wouldn't accept me.
She had filled me about the skeleton he was made of. Arrogant, being the calcium and sexy being all the other minerals which the human bones were composed of.
And I?
Well, I was like the glucose, which had nothing to do with the bones. I was meant for blood, not the bloody bones.
Chucking all these thoughts out of my mind, I got tuned into the reality.
It was six thirty now and I was ready to leave for my class, scheduled for seven.
College being nearer to my workplace, zeroed out any possibilities of me getting to my apartment for a quick shower or even a short nap.
Giving a last look to all the arrangements completed for tomorrow's business party at The Grover's Estate and signaling Mr. Henderson, the head incharge of the security, a nice hurried goodbye, I took my leave.
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