That time I Resurrected With some Cheats

Bezel_Kairos
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - C1: Returning

–!¡ POV ??? ¡!–

Nobility.

Such words refer to those who stand out and had their names popular by unusual means, be it from taking down an elite in wars, contributions of their family in the current stronghold of the empire, the glamour of their works in ancient times as a remembrance of their ancestors bravery and heroic works, the might that was told to the commoner's circle as they flaunt their status of themselves to inflict fear and power to those below them.

It is a pity, really.

Nobles to those themselves had called, were the most vilest being to ever be gifted.

A humble one was the most valuable and noblest of all, be it they come from the lowest of the chain, or not.

And I was disgusted at the fact that those kind of people, of the "noble" they had become, were existing.

The disgusting fact that I was once a son of an irrate noble, was enough for me to hate my existence and my noble parent.

And so, I was put into a deep sleep by none other than my hateful family, I "died" on my younger days, next was a decade of endless sleep...

Well, I couldn't really hate them aren't I?

Because... Gods were more begrudgingly inhumane than human, or so I thought.

Why?

Well, who the fuck would "train" a weak, frail, and young seven years old toddler so harshly that every fiber of my muscles were teared and my skin toasted, skewered, or literally skinned alive?

Who the fuck would "teach" an innocent, crybaby, and young boy so strictly that I got traumatised when facing an instructor and a book?

Who the fuck would "discipline" a young student so hard that I could barely lived each sessions, if you don't add the time where they used healing magic just to keep me alive...

Fuck, the gods that "trained" me for a decade, their methods were so inhumane!

And yes, they had the right to do so, they're past puny human's limitations so they DO have the right to be, but still...

I always ended up either smashed into gory bits, decapitated, cutted in half vertically, heck even boiled alive!

Behind me, were the people that literally sends me to "Hell".

"He's still weak, don't you think so guys?"

"Awww~ I think it's better if I let him spend more time with Fen-chan."

"..."

What the fuck they were talking about? I already suffered enough of your fucking eccentricities old hags and geezers! No more!

Annoyed, I turned my head back to them.

"Nah, how about... "no"? Plus, I already spend much time with all of you..."

"...literally many centuries old hags using a dragon's poop as an ointment to make themselves more haggard looking."

"""..."""

Oh... Oh! their faces! hahahaha!

Heck, even Liftra-san and Tyr-san were laughing their ass off on that lame pun, hahahahaha!

"You... son of a dickless man! come here and let me feed you to Jormy-chan!!!"

"You're the dickless one!!! Bitch!!!"

Fuming, a certain girl with braided purple hair and dense eyelashes were howling in rage, wanting a piece of my booty to feed with that long-arse snek child of hers.

"Sorry, Bitch-chan! Just let Hel-chan cook my soul for herself, you got no share with my booty even if you want a piece!!!"

"You!!! B R A T!!!"

And, the chase has commenced, with me running with my booty alive as a heterosexual mama bitch-gon were chasing me with the burning mouth of hers in circles.

The others were looking at us blankly, even the eldest and wisest of all of them, yet Mr. "Broly look-a-like" LMFAO'd at the scene.

"Dafuq, Bitch?"

"Ahahaha! Go get 'em, Son of Kaye!"

I shouted back at him.

"Fuck You! But, aye aye, mah dude captahn!"

Running away from the walking Calamity, the "wisest of them all" finally stretched his enlarged hands in the middle of us two, making bitch-gon stop chasing me, and me running away from the bitch.

"Let it bygones bygones would we? Lo-chan, don't chase Alec like that again, you like "pranks" but don't like to get "pranked"."

Old Man points out to "her", who huffed with a scowl on "her" face. The Old Man then pointed his large fingers to me, with a stern tone he said.

"And you, Alec, stop molesting Lo-chan and Hel-chan. Also, farewell on coming back on the mortal realm."

"Heh. Don't watch too much loli hentai and farewell too, Old Geezer."

I joked as I looked into Heimdall, who nodded and with a flick of his fingers, a portal appeared next to me, I saw Loki sighing in disappointment and... Holy Shit Don't LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT HILD-CHAN!!!

Everyone gave their goodbyes with me crying, not really, only Mr. Broly cried in fountains as I left their territory.

"Bye, friend... don't forget the *sniff* dosage of weeds you need *sniff* to take... everyday to remember our friendship...*sniff*"

...Nevermind the last part, just think of it as nonexistent sentence...

"Bye! Bless me to not see you old hags and senile old mans again!!!"

"B R A T!!!"

Too late bitch with a son of a snek and wolfe, bye bitch.

*swoooooong*

*flash*

*****

"U-urghhh..."

The instant I come back on the mortal realm from that accursed place, I felt incredibly weak!

Oh, goodness... what the hell happened to me?!

My body felt so stiff that I could compare myself as of a Narwood Log¹! Damn, I got comatosed!

I was confined with a strange blue liquid, punctured with a tube that is connected to the large vein in my left wrist.

Weakly, I tried to move my body but found it useless, I was harder than a rock to make a movement!

Well... stop meddling with inevitable things to happen, let's just look around...

Oh, a different room... the portrait of me and my mother smiling happily... my mothers collection of books... a closet that were used by mother when she was still with my father.

Mother's Room? Did she renovate her room? It looks... small...

No, it's definitely not her room, It's a new one.

I don't know whether to be happy or not, maybe because of all of those years I spend with the inhabitants of that damn place where crazy man dwells, I grew distant to my human relatives and my relationships to them greatly weakened...

But, I was in my former body, I got reincarnated... or resurrected back on my previous body! Do you know how awesome was that?!

Thank you for that, Lif-chan! Frigg-dono! and Bitch-chan!

And also, you could guess where I really did come from, no?

(A: more like "you know what it means?" type)

I came from [Valhalla]!

Woohooo, the Fucking Gods of the Fucking Norse Pantheon!

Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

I'm a Reincarnato- no, that's wrong...

I'm a Resurrected person!!! The Violent Jesus that'll kick your sins with my mighty kick!!!

Okay, enought of that and! Another thing to meddle with, why does my body were lying on my mother's bed, and not on my bed?

Hmm... nevermind it, I'll ask her later. (N: you shouldn't, cuz you'll get hort)

Anyways, a realization hits me when my gaze found a familiar thing from my "beloved" father...

Mother does like to cherish gifts from father, but he was so cold to us that I could even see him as a nobody and not my own father.

Heh... that's how a noble family runs off, not like commoners that would definitely live their life with one wife, nobles could neglect an accidental family they created just like throwing off a garbage everywhere and anywhere.

From living so much years with "them", the inhabitants of that "Mental" place, I finally realized how "fake" was the smiles my father give to me and mother before, on how really bad their relationship the exact day they started a fight, just recently when I was "shot" by someone I know with.

Mother loved me more than anyone, even herself so it felt very different for me to hate her. Heck, I can't even found anything to be angry for her in my memories, thus I felt incredibly touched and more close to her than those I knew, even now...

And, when I was out learning a hunting lesson with the House of Lone Huntsmen², Archéduke Tristan... the accident happened, the last time I saw my mother concern to me which I ignored because I'm so young... I clearly remembered who the culprit was on that incident.

A young man with his signature scarlet hair with golden edges, scarlet eye burning with unreasonable hatred and resentment to me, that I even questioned why does he have that grudge to me...

Enough of that, let's leave that as it is...

With a grin, I controlled myself letting out a vicious cackle that would disturb anyone that could hear and would rise unnecessary commotion, from my throat being as hoarse as it already is, I wouldn't push my frail self to the limits and from trouble just to scrutinize them.

Because, I won't need to recollect everything in one go, like those young reincarnators, or even having a perfect recall when I'll just re-met everyone I'll have a score to settle with...

As the former me, the Second Son of Archéduke Kaye, from House of Fiery Will³...

I am...

"The Noble Scumbag's Illegitimate Son. Alecris von Kaye."

****

Glossary:

Narwood Log¹ - Material. A wood capable of storing mana on itself, good for making staves and complimented of it being the "most toughest wood ever existing".

House of Lone Huntsmen² - The House of Tristan; the Tristan Family, the house where most of noble hunting veterans and Wood Magi were belong of.

House of Fiery Will³ - The House of Kaye; the Kaye Family, the house where noble swordsmasters and Fire Magi were belong of.