I was getting frustrated; I needed some kind of clothes soon or I would go crazy. I kept getting pushed back by having to do other things first all the time, and now I had no food remaining. Yet again, I would have to postpone in order to get more of those coconuts.
I had taken the spear and axe with me, there was no way I was going to leave my most precious possessions back in that cave where they could easily be stolen. I had thought about trying to hunt instead but this seemed like the safer option, especially since I would be able to get something to drink at the same time.
I shook my head at my lame excuse, judging from the sky it would rain somewhere in the evening, the clouds had gained in density and they were coming this way. At least I would be able to stock up on some water which would give me time to hunt.
A fur coat would be a great thing to have, comfortable and warm if it got colder, shame I had no idea how to cure furs. I guessed if I was able to at least clean them, somebody would know, right?
I reached my destination much faster than yesterday thanks to my added experience when it came to walking. I knew it still wasn't anywhere close to the speed a legit spider could run at but it was already far better than when I started.
To be fair, even the smallest spiders on earth could run away at ridiculous speed, which they showed very clearly when they were in my room. Sometimes they even ran towards me for reasons unknown to mankind, and I had to jump away or they would touch me. If I were to translate the speed of those small ones to my current size, would that mean I would leave all those Olympic athletes in the dust? I should study small spiders to see how they moved and then try to mimic them. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I imagined it would help with survival. Another thing to add to my list of priorities, I took a mental note.
I arrived at the palm trees again and found two fresh ones on the ground. I stabbed one with my spear and drank its contents. I really needed that; I hadn't drunk anything this day yet. I looked at the coconut in my hand and made a decision.
I had to climb again and had a bit of an easier time wiggling the fruits loose with the spear that I had acquired. I was about to climb down when a large deer came into view.
Like all life I have encountered so far, this was no ordinary deer. This one in particular had a large set of antlers, a tail like a racoon but of course there had to be more. I could see one of those stereotypical TV sales channels in my mind; ''But wait, there is more''. This deer, I assumed it was a buck because of the huge set of antlers ALSO had a spiraled horn growing out of its forehead.
''What the hell'', I let out.
Apparently, the buck didn't like the sound of that as almost immediately it charged and hit the tree with one of his antlers. Fuck, did this animal have something against spiders or what? I am innocent, leave me alone!
It charged again and the tree shook, several coconuts fell down and two of my legs slipped, I quickly put them back. And prepared for impact again. When the impact came, I didn't lose my footing, it didn't matter though as the charge had literally snapped the tree in two and I was falling down with it. What is this guy's strength? this is unfair.
I let go of the tree and managed to somewhat break my fall but still ended up face down on the ground. I tried to get to my feet but I was already being charged at, I barely managed to roll out of the way. That horn didn't look like it was intended just for show, I'd be screwed if I get hit by that.
I got behind another palm tree for cover and held out my spear in front of me, I hoped this would work. I was counting on the animal to charge me, hit the tree and then me stabbing it. It sounded like a good plan but I had no experience hunting or killing for that matter.
My plan succeeded, although partly. It slammed its antler into the tree and I thrust my spear forward, aiming between the antlers and the scary looking horn. Its skull was far tougher than I thought and before I knew it, it had knocked the spear out of my hands. I didn't get time to grab it as it aimed its horn straight for me once again.
No longer under cover of the tree I did not have a choice but to jump to the side. I wish I had practiced jumping because I only half-assedly succeeded in my acrobatics. I managed to avoid the attack but landed on my back.
''Fuck, I'm screwed'', I let out as I saw it charging at me once more from my right side.
I shook off the fear and focused, I still had one chance. One chance was probably all I would get, if I missed it, I might truly be done for. its head was low, ready to skewer my side and coming in fast. I pulled my right legs down low, ready to spring. When the horn was within my reach, I pulled my legs up with all the strength I could muster and prayed it wouldn't pierce me.
I felt the wind from its head, the antlers and then the rest of its body as it quite literally flew over me. Brought out of balance, it couldn't stop itself, its front legs collapsed and the side of his body crashed into one of the palm trees. I got up as quickly as I could, skittered over to my spear too it firmly within all four hands and charged it into the side of the dazed buck. I managed to get through the skin but it didn't seem to go any deeper. I thrust again but the same thing happened, what's worse, my spear got stuck. The buck let out a roar of pain, but I knew this would not be lethal.
It shook its head as it tried to stand up and I knew that its daze would end soon. So, I did what every reasonable spider would do when it had immobilized its pray, albeit temporary. I jumped on its back, forced it back onto the ground and sank my fangs in, literally.
I felt venom flowing through my fangs into its body until I was completely out, it felt kind of relieving which disturbed me. I retracted my fangs and kept it pinned down. I hoped it would be enough. Within seconds I could already feel the struggles dying down and about thirty seconds later, the deer was completely still.
I stood up and pulled up my fangs in front of me as I looked at them.
''Holy shit, how lethal am I really?''
That just seemed like overkill. True, I did empty whatever venom I had stored up but still, to kill this fast was beyond my imagination. I looked at the corpse and sighed. I never realized deer were this large, how the hell was I supposed to get this back to the cave, drag it? I sighed again, I knew this day would come eventually, I had already prepared to do this later today so I might as well do it now.
''Now let's find out how this actually works'', I said in feigned anticipation. This would probably be the biggest NOPE moment of my life, both lives.
I got down on my back and leaned forward, the flexibility of this body never ceased to amaze me. I reached over to the end of my butt. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this, but if my previous experimenting showed anything, it was that I would have to feel first before I was able to control that specific part of my body.
So here I was, looking for the organ where a spider would normally spin silk from. I found four protrusions behind a hole the size of a golf ball. I hoped with all my heart that those protrusions were what I was looking for.
I did not want to see this, it was bad enough that I had to feel it. I put a finger on top of one of them and squirmed from the awkward feeling. When I then slightly put in a finger and pull it back out, I could feel something being pulled out of there, and assumed I had found what I was looking for.
I didn't dare to look at first but managed to get over my humiliation. When I saw a white string of silk sticking to my finger and a thread connecting it to my spinneret.
I had succeeded, but at what cost?
There were three more of these and I already felt violated. Why did I have to have four anyway?
After several more disturbing minutes I managed to create silk from each one of those. It seemed I had to simply touch it and drag the silk out. I was even successful in creating non-sticky silk, I had no idea how I did it or how it worked but I simply wished it wasn't sticky and it came out the way I wanted.
I created two ropes of the non-sticky variant and tied them to the deer's antlers. I also grabbed the coconuts that had fallen to the ground from my antics and the stag's charging and bound them together with the sticky variant of web. When I had everything prepared for transport, I gathered my axe that had got lost somewhere early on in the fight. I then pulled the spear out of the deer's dead body which came out surprisingly easy now, and started making my way back to the cave where I would have a feast.
I smiled at the thought of finally having some meat, then started to have my doubts, was this meat even edible with all that poison?
I shrugged, 'since it's mine it would make sense that I would be immune to it right?'
The sight of me must have been hilarious to any onlookers. I was dragging a deer behind me with a net of coconuts sticked to its upper side. I held the two ropes in one set of hands and then a spear in one hand and then my axe in another. I did wonder; is this how horses felt pulling a plough? I knew the body of the deer I had felled weighed quite a bit but pulling it didn't seem to be much of an issue.
I felt a shadow fall over the forest and looked up to the sky. It seems the clouds have finally reached me. I could already hear thunder in the distance.
Damn, and I still had at least half of the way to go. I cursed my luck. I had not been counting on bad weather reaching me so quickly. I hoped it would remain dry until I at least made it to my shelter but it didn't seem like I was going to be so lucky.
I cursed my luck again. Minutes after my grave miscalculations I was already soaking wet. The only luck I had in this situation was that the rain was pleasantly warm so I wasn't going to freeze anytime soon. Still, this is not how I imagined I would shower. Thunder roared from behind me and startled me. I had never really been afraid of thunderstorms but I had always been high and dry indoors where the sound of rain against the windows was somewhat soothing. This was a completely different story altogether.
The ground was all soggy which made moving hard because apparently my legs had the tendency to sink away in the mud. At this rate I would have to make the equivalent of those tennis rackets that people bound under their feet in cold, snowy climates.
I arrived at my cozy fire way later than I had anticipated and saw that it had almost died down. Just now I noticed how lucky I was that this cave had a bump near the entrance that acted as threshold to keep the water out, I would have been quite screwed if it wasn't so. It seemed fate had been kind to me so far, as much as it could anyway.
''Whatever'', I muttered when I thought about what fate had brought me so far. Memory loss, a monster body and the most awkward scenarios.
I got my fire going again and dropped my haul in the far back of the cave. There was something I had to take care of while it was raining, two things actually, make that three.
I took the bloodied spear and washed it clean in the rain. I then used said spear to open five coconuts cutting out a ring from the top. I poured the insides of four coconuts in one and drank the last bit that would make it overflow. Strawberry juice was delicious, but I was more looking forward to what would come later. My stomach was already audibly calling out to what I had laid in the back.
I walked back outside with the empty coconuts and used my spear to create four small pits in the grass to place the fruits in. While those were being filled up with water, I decided to finally take a shower.
I mean, it was going to be a rainy shower, but a shower nonetheless. Even though much of the dirt and blood had already washed off, it still felt refreshing to finally be able to clean every last spot. How I would kill for a sponge and some soap right now.
While I was at it, I should get some shampoo too, this long hair felt like it would need a lot of maintenance. Scrap that, it did need a lot of maintenance, getting all the blood, dirt and dust out took me way longer than I had expected without something like a comb to help me out. By the time I could run my hands through without finding anything, the water had got a lot colder and I scurried back to my fire as soon as I was finished, not wanting to catch a cold.
Ah, the sweet warmth of fire really did wonders to the body when coming out of the rain. My only issue was that there was a lot of body to warm up, so much that I actually had to take turns in warming up my left and then my right side. While letting the fire do its job, I was working on creating some sticks to skewer the meat with. I could have used my spear, sure, but I did not want to damage the integrity of the wood behind the tip so what was out of the question.
When I finished making a fair amount of those (some would likely not survive after all) it was time to work on the meat. This would probably create a bloody mess, literally.
I carefully cut the skin under its chin, and would try to keep that intact and in one piece as much as possible. There had to be civilization somewhere and I could use the hide to trade for clothes or have it processed.
This made the think about my trade opportunities, I guessed I could sell my silk? Awkward as it was, it was incredibly strong and flexible, it was bound to be worth something. Another option would be my venom, I guessed. If technology was advanced enough in this world, it could be used to make anti-venom, right? Or maybe it could be used by adventurers to coat their weapons if it was that kind of world?
I looked at the buck's eyes which I had closed, looking at those glazy, lifeless eyes kind of freaked me out. From there I moved my eyes to the horn and antlers, it was probably a good idea to save those as well, who knew what those materials could be used for. If nothing else I could probably make a new spear with that horn alone if something were to happen to my old one.
I had to admit, I thought the sight of butchering an animal would make me nauseous beyond belief. I had expected there to be blood and guts everywhere. That was not the case, however, and I seemed awfully calm about this. I carefully cut slabs of meat with my axe, any butcher back on earth would probably have raged at me for not giving the respect the animal deserved. I had no idea what I was actually cutting off either, but it was probably expensive. I mean, meat was meat, right?
After infuriating all the butchers on Earth, it was time to cause an existential crisis to all cooks. Hell, they would be in a lunatic asylum after I was done ruining this top-quality meat. I hated taking risks though, so well done it was.
Thunder and lightning raged on outside in rapid succession while I was munching on a large steak. It missed salt but I couldn't have everything. Thanks to my two sets of hands, I could eat while working on the rest of my catch. I held the axe still as I dwelled in thoughts. Did I have any way of preserving meat? How long would it take to spoil? Judging from the warm weather, not too long.
While the back of the cave was colder it was nowhere near refrigerating temperatures. I knew you could preserve meat for much longer by rubbing it in with salt, but I didn't have that as an option either. I knew gunpowder was sometimes used as well but that was even further away at this point.
Yes, I knew how to make gunpowder. Like the true science and history nerd I was I had looked up the composure every time I wondered. Saltpeter was going to be the ingredient I was worried about most, not necessarily because its scarcity but for the way it used to be obtained in history, poop and urine, or even better, bat guano, yuck.
Charcoal would always be readily available. Sulfur was tricky, but you could generally find it in large amounts near volcanic areas or hot springs. Now that I actually found myself in a different world maybe this knowledge would come to fruition? I doubted it would have any value on earth, we were far beyond simple black powder after all.
''Oh hell, no'', I let out, realizing I forgot the piece of meat that was cooking above the fire.
The two sticks that were holding a piece of meat above the fire were burnt and my delicious meat was now resting on one of the burning logs. I quickly pulled it out using the axe, it was burnt on one side but I was not going to waste any of this, it wasn't often I had something like this. And judging from the size of my abdomen I might need more than what the average person would eat.
Maybe I could actually eat all of it and go without food for days? I am pretty sure my grandma didn't have to feed her tarantula more than once or twice a week. Now that I thought about it, I wasn't necessarily feeling hungry, but I wasn't feeling full either, interesting.
Ah, survival was an excellent reason to stuff your face without having to worry about what others thought. I just hoped all this eating wouldn't make me fat. As long as I wasn't full, I could continue without having to fear that, right?
'If only I had a refrigerator or freezer' I thought, 'or my phone...', I added melancholily.
Still in a sad mood, I looked outside, the rain only added more to the sadness as I thought back to what I missed. Living in luxury had led to the complete inaptitude to live like this. I guess I had done fairly okay in the survival department if I looked where I had gotten so far. I managed to get all basic needs sorted but the lack of interaction with people, while nice at first, started getting to me.
Even if most of my interactions with people had been online before, it was still something. I was terrified I wouldn't be able to interact with anyone anymore with what I'd become. At least I had my coconuts, maybe I could give them faces and names like that guy in that movie, or was that a basketball? I didn't remember. I hoped I wouldn't stoop that low.
I cut out another piece of meat as the rain continued on, the day would probably end soon, not that I could do much, anyway.
There was one thing left on my list that had bothered me for a long time. It was finally time to take care of one of my biggest annoyances since waking up here. I put another cut of steak over the fire, vowed I would pay attention to it this time and grabbed a coconut.
I carefully carved a line so I wouldn't shatter it, and cut it in half cleanly so that I had two circle shaped halves. I quickly gulped down the strawberry smoothie that was inside. It appeared it seemed to add to the tropical sceneries I saw in my mind. That, or I was going crazy. Probably the last. I was after all, making ''clothes'' out of coconuts.
I mean, it wasn't much, but it would cover something at least. After carving them down so they wouldn't smother me I got to the awkward part of creating straps from my own silk. When that was finished, I tried on my handywork, it wasn't the most comfortable but it did its job.
How did those Hawaiian girls do this? Did they also remove the coconut flesh before processing them as bras? So many questions, so little answers. I guessed it wouldn't hurt to not remove it, coconut oil was good for your skin, or so I've heard. Thinking of oil snapped my mind back to the steak that I'd completely forgotten, again. It had fallen onto a log again and was starting to char.
''Fuck'', I let out in frustration. ''Not again.''