From the Digital Edition: The Undead Ruler of the Neighborhood Association
"…Someone brought the real deal here."
It was currently close to dusk.
"What's your problem!? Why are you always, always so stingy about me! All you ever do is make my life hard, penny-pincher Kazuma!"
Smack-center in the town's graveyard, Aqua and I conversed with one another.
"U-, Uhm… Please you two, people should be arriving here soon, so…"
Wiz, who had been forcefully brought here by Aqua, tried to mediate the situation.
This all began yesterday afternoon.
Amongst the many requests from the guild, one of them was to be a staff member for the test of courage being held by the neighborhood association. Interested, Aqua took the request, but…
"Are you retarded!? It's just a test of courage by the neighborhood association, so don't bring real undead here! Also, there's no point in a test of courage that doesn't look scary whatsoever!"
"What!? Are you trying to say that Wiz isn't scary!? Are you trying to say that the stray ghosts over there are scarier!? Apologize! Apologize for hurting a lich's pride! And Wiz, say something with a scary expression if you please!"
"A-, Aqua-sama, uhm, I actually feel more hurt by what you said instead…."
But what should we do now?
I'm pretty sure the guild hired some adventurers to act as monsters, but at this rate the test of courage will be ruined by this idiot.
Perhaps noticing my worries—
"Uhm… It'll be fine. Just leave this to me! Despite the way I am, my title of undead ruler isn't just for show. I will be sure to give them a scare!"
Wiz, with a clenched fist, announced such.
The sun soon set, and the cemetery began to feel like a real cemetery. It was then—
"Perfect! No matter how I look at it, this is a zombie alright!"
"…You really are talented when it comes to irregular work."
Aqua nodded satisfied, drawing tools in hand.
"I-, Is it really that amazing? How does my face look like right now…? I said that I would give everybody a scare, but I'd rather not overdo it…"
Wiz, who had been given a Hollywood-level makeup by Aqua, said so with unease.
"Well, I guess your zombie-makeup is good enough to make an elderly person have a heart attack on sight."
"I-, Is it really!?"
"Oh, they're coming! First, Kazuma and I will start a conversation with the participants. Then, when they're off guard, jump out and give them a scare! Wiz, hide!"
"Y-, Yes, I understand!"
After Wiz hid behind the grave, Aqua and I went with cheery smiles to greet the participants.
"—Huh? Kazuma also took the job?"
I thought they were just participants, but it turns out that they're just some familiar adventurers.
Well that makes sense. It'd be pretty lonely if there was just one or two people doing this entire thing.
"Ahh, Aqua and I were gonna talk to the participants like this to drop their guard, and then…"
Just as I was explaining—
"B-, BAHHHHHHHH—!"
A voice that didn't quite suit the dark cemetery sounded.
According to plan, Wiz jumped from behind the shadow of the grave.
"Ah, Wiz, this is a misunderstanding. These guys are here to—"
"""""Owaaaah—!"""""
Before I could finish explaining, the adventurers screamed in terror.
Ah-, wait….
"I-, It's a zombie! It's the real deal!"
"Damn, that sure gave me a scare, but we're lucky that it showed up before the participants!"
"Ah shoot, I didn't bring my weapons."
The adventurers unanimously such things.
"…Huh?"
Unable to grasp the situation, Wiz kept her arms raised like a zombie.
Then, one of the adventurers pointed to Aqua.
"No, we don't need our weapons. We have Aqua-san here, don't we?"
""""Ah""""
"Wha-? W-, What-!? P-, Please wait…"
Ignoring Wiz—
"""""Aqua-san, if you please."""""
"W-W-W-W-W-W-, Wait! I-I-, I'm not a zombie! Uhm, I'm not a zombie, so—"
"T-, That's right! She's not a zombie. It's just some sort of special makeup…"
As Wiz and I hurriedly tried to resolve the misunderstanding, the adventurers tilted their heads in puzzlement.
"…Oi, this zombie is talking."
"It even said that it's not a zombie… What's this? Some sort of rare subspecies?"
"I don't really get it. I really don't, but just in case…"
The adventurers nodded their heads.
"""""… Since 'Turn Undead' won't hurt any living beings, Aqua-san, please go ahead and do it."""""
"...U-, Uhm… I'll hold back a bit, ok?"
—That night. The zombie that ran away with all its might through the cemetery caused the test of courage to be bustling and lively.
For some reason, Aqua got a special bonus.
Epilogue 1— The office of the Bishop
Translator: SkythewoodEditor: Darkdhaos
"— That concludes the report. The crisis has been resolved."
After reading the report handed to me, I took a deep breath to calm my wildly beating heart.
The priest who handed the report to me must be the same like me, acting cool on the outside, but the feeling of happiness on the verge of bursting out.
Since just now, he had been closing his eyes and uttering words of thanks.
"Purifying the hot springs of an entire city by herself. On top of that, the toxin from the demon king's army boss Hans and pieces of his body was all cleanse away—"
As he read the report, his voice trembled.
"In order to cleanse the remnants of the demon king's army boss, a large group of excellent arch priests will require several months to accomplish that. But—"
"That's right, and… The appearance of that great person…"
The priest who came to reporting said emotionally. His voice was trembling.
"Blue hair, blue eyes, wearing a hagoromo with a dignified and beautiful appearance."
It is true.
The joy was making him feel faint.
"What should we do next? Should we announce this to the cultist in the city…"
"Of course we will. However, we will need to inform them in private. That great person might visit this city to play again. When the time comes, we need to tell them not to behave too respectfully, and not talk to her too casually… Also, what about the water source that had been purified?"
"Yes, hot spring water doesn't gush out anymore, but…"
"If I'm not wrong, it is water that could heal wounds and very effective against undead monsters?"
"Yes, the holy water is very strong too… Simply put, instead of operating a hot spring, the profits from selling these holy water would be higher."
That was obvious.
After all, it was purified by the full power of that great person, it was only natural.
"… Speaking of which, we seemed to have burdened that great person with heavy debts…"
"… What should we do, my opinion is that we have to pretend we didn't realize her true identity in order for that great person to come visit again with peace of mind…
I replied.
"How about this. We will send an envoy to Axel, and return the compensation money back in some sort of way…"
"… Good point, let's do that then. By right, we should thank her for saving the city and apologize for burdening her with debts…"
Let's wait for that great person to visit this city again and—
The priest lowered his head.
"Well then, I will do as you asked, Zesta-sama—"
"Yes, please do."
After I finished, the priest bowed to me and left the room.
I read the report again and muttered gratefully.
"I offer you my most sincere thanks on behalf of the cult, Aqua-sama—!"
Epilogue 2 — After the journey—
"Home—!"
"Can't you say 'I am home' properly?"
Aqua opened the door to the mansion in high spirits, and entered the home we were away from these few days.
What did I do during this vacation?
As usual, I got dragged into some troublesome matters, and lost the mood when I realized it.
Never mind, I visited the hot springs and went into the mixed bath…
… Mixed bath.
Hmm? Was that really a mixed bath?
Didn't I only bath with that onee-san called Wolback?
And that Onee-san wrapped her body with a towel securely.
In the mansion, I did bath with Megumin and Darkness before.
… Hmmm, what is with that.
Now that I think of it, wouldn't it be better if I didn't go for the vacation?
Ara…
"What's the matter? Why the weird face? Is this some kind of new game?"
"I am just imitating you. Looks just like you, right?"
While I was struggling against Aqua who pounced on me, Darkness said.
"Really, we just came back, can't you two give it a rest? Have some tea and cool down, both of you."
She took off her armour as she said that and went into the pantry.
"Phew, this place makes me feel the most at ease– Although it isn't adequate for the one who propose the trip to say that."
Megumin said as she jumped onto the couch in the living room.
"Hey Megumin, that is my special holy seat!"
"If you want it, let's decide it with a game."
Megumin took out that board game she was great at and started playing against Aqua.
I sat on the other end of the couch and watched them play. Darkness came over at this time with the tea she brewed.
This girl was always so clumsy, I didn't think she could brew tea.
"Nah, Megumin, you are using your arch wizard too cunningly. Here, take my useless crusader, let's trade."
"Tactically speaking, I don't need the crusader. I reject the trade. It's your turn, Aqua."
"Hey, erm, well, I know you two are talking about the game, but…"
I sipped on my tea as I listened to their mindless chatter.
Maybe it was because we just reached home after our trip, the relaxing atmosphere was really comfortable.
However, something will definitely happen at a time like this.
I could tell from experience.
"Megumin! Nah, is Megumin here!? And, is Kazuma-san here too!?"
Along with an anxious voice, someone was rapping the door of the mansion.
See, here it comes.
"Here here! Is that Yunyun? What is the matter, something troublesome? Be it a demon king army boss or a bounty target, just tell me what is bothering you."
I ranted nonstop as I opened the door. Yunyun was blinking her eyes right outside.
Her face was red.
She was out of breath, what happened?
"Erm, erm… This is very sudden… but…"
Yunyun seemed to be steeling herself as she bit her lips.
I drank my tea as I encouraged her to go on with an easy expression.
I was fearless now, already used to such developments.
"What is the matter Yunyun? Looking for me?"
Megumin stood up. Yunyun shook her head and looked straight into my face.
Looking for me? I don't care what kind of trouble it was— Bring it on!
Yunyun shouted at me who was drinking tea leisurely.
"I…! I…!! I want to have Kazuma-san's children!!"I spat out the tea in my mouth.