"And that's how it is. A mere blow from a monster isn't the only way to find ecstasy. Monsters that poison their prey and slowly finish them off give me a refreshing feeling of being pushed into a corner and that honestly makes me shake in excitement! Do you understand!?"
"No I don't and I wouldn't want to either."
While Darkness and I were having lunch at the tavern, I was forced into a lecture that I couldn't really comprehend.
Is there really no way for me to trade her for another party member?
As I was considering that, the door of the tavern was flung open with a loud 'bang', and someone who appeared to a magician dashed in.
"Excuse me! I've got an urgent quest! I want to offer an urgent quest!"
After the man's shout, the tavern fell silent.
"A magical creature called a roper has escaped its confines! I'd like to request to assistance of all male adventurers present!"
Although hurried, the man's voice was loud and clear.
"Roper? Darkness, what's a roper? Why is he only asking male adventurers for help?" I whispered to Darkness who sat across me.
"Ropers only attacks females, using their tentacles to do unspeakable things to them. It's a magical creature that is the public enemy of all women. It is said to be a creation of a certain perverted magician."
"I see I see. I understand now. That said, he only asked for male adventurers, so what are you getting excited for?"
"Because I'm going too!"
I commend her spirit, but…
"Aren't you a bit underequipped to go face such a magical creature? At least go back and get your equipment so you wouldn't be assaulted by it."
"My equipment is being repaired right now."
"No wait, it's not like we've fought an enemy strong enough to break your—"
"It's being repaired right now!"
T-, This girl—!
"That said, this isn't an enemy I can handle along, so I would like for you to come with me, Kazuma."
"Well, that's not a problem, but…"
Thus, I accompanied Darkness, who was strangely excited, out in search for the roper.
"Ropers definitely hide in dark spaces. They'll assault women in places with few people and then drag them to a dark area to do all sorts unspeakable things to them."
"Oh-? That sort of habit wasn't written on this information sheet that the requestor gave to us. You're surprisingly knowledgeable."
Was it because she was knowledgeable about the habits of ropers that she took up this quest?
It seems that she didn't just take this job to satisfy her twisted desires.
She's a problematic person in many ways, but when it comes time to protect the townsfolk, she can show her serious side—
"No, it's just that I hope ropers are like that! For example, what would happen if the roper was hiding around in the shade over there? I'm certain that someone as lightly dressed as me would become the victim of some hideous acts! Oh what should I do Kazuma!? What would be the right thing to do!?"
"Are you asking me what you should do when I kick you out of this party?"
Though, it seems like my words fell on deaf ears. Darkness face flushed red as she squirmed in excitement.
Darkness continued uttering with feverish excitement.
"No matter how much I resist and struggle, it will all be futile as the roper pushes me down with its vile strength! Finally, my hands and legs will be constrained by its dirty tentacles and it will be able to do whatever it wants to my powerless body! AHH~! If it comes down to that, I wouldn't want you to get caught up in it Kazuma! Just leave me behind and run!"
"But this paper says that ropers belong to the weakest class of monsters though. I'm pretty sure that even I could take it down. Rather, if you didn't want any help to begin with why did you even bother bringing me along!"
"I wouldn't be able to bring it home alone, would I?"
"Did you just say that you want to bring the roper home?"
"No I didn't. Ah, I saw something moving over there! Let's hurry Kazuma, or else someone will beat us to it. We must protect it!"
"You just said that you would protect it didn't you!?"
In the end, we scoured the town searching for the roper until dawn, but we weren't able to find it.
"Hey… Let's call it a day and go back already. Aqua and Megumin are probably done with today's explosion stroll around now and are waiting for us at the tavern. Let's go and grab some food already."
"You have a point. Let's give up for today. We'll search for it again tomorrow."
"…You were actually planning on taking it in?"
"N-, Not for the lewd purposes that you think I will use it for. I think that the secretions from Jester's pedipalps can be used as beauty serum or something like that."
Is Jester the name of the roper she's planning on taking in? So she's already decided on a name huh…
As I was astounded by Darkness, who attempted to make up an excuse to make the roper her pet, the two of us headed back towards the guild—
"Megumin, your explosion magic is as amazing as ever! That weird squirming tentacle monster was completely trounced! Oh hey, what are you two up to? Heading back to the guild?"
"Hmpf! Before my strongest magic, not even the demon king would be able to— Huh? Are you two heading back right now?'
We coincidentally bumped into Aqua and Megumin, who Aqua was carrying on her back. They appeared to be heading back from their explosion stroll.
"Hey, did you just say something about a 'weird squirming tentacle monster'?"
Hearing what I said, the two exchanged a glance.
"There was a tentacle monster wandering around so we obliterated it with explosion magic!"
"Hey Darkness, get ahold of yourself! Some magician somewhere will make another one!"
Darkness weakly fell on all fours, her head lowered in angst and disappointment. I put a hand on her shoulder and tried to console her—
"This feeling… This feeling of incredible loss akin to losing someone dear to me… Is this the feeling of being cuckolded that been all the craze recently!?"
So said the optimistic pervert who trembled in crazed excitement with a flushed face as she supported herself on all fours.
Seeing her like this… made me want to give her a good stomp.