This annoying guy kept bugging the crap out of me, so I maybe kinda sorta killed him.
Oopsie!
I mean, if he was just being annoying, that'd be one thing, but what do you expect if you're gonna try and attack me?
Sure, it was enough of a pain when he kept showing up every day, blathering on at me, then getting pissed off before going home for whatever reason.
I still don't fully understand the language here, so there were some parts that went over my head, but mostly he was just being snooty and saying stuff like,
"You are my pet now! Obey me!"
Like, did you really think that was gonna work?
Was this guy right in the head?
And then while I'm just staring at him blankly, the guy starts throwing a fit. What was there to get mad about anyway?
It's just like with the girl who used to pester me in my old life. Why does me staring at people in confused silence always piss them off?
I don't get it.
Then, just as I was getting really sick of this stupid old guy sticking his nose in my business every day, he ordered some of his subordinates to attack me. He probably intended to kidnap me by force or whatever, but I honestly feel kinda bad for the poor thugs he sent to do the deed. They never stood a chance of kidnapping me. Did they know that and set out with a sense of resignation to see their duty through to the end, or were they just stupid? Well, either way, I wiped 'em all out. While I was at it, I wrapped things up by using my Evil Eyes to dispose of the old guy who sent them. Next thing you know, the town's in an uproar.
It turns out this guy was some kind of big shot from another country or something. Since he died in this town under suspicious circumstances, it could end up being a whole international incident for the country this town is in, I guess.
The lord and his right-hand man looked pretty stressed out while they were talking about it. I'm sorry, okay?
I guess this is kinda my fault.
But look, I don't regret it one bit!
If someone tries to get me, I'll get 'em right back!
That's just how I roll!
Besides, I'm sure one stupid old guy kicking the bucket isn't gonna be that big of a deal.
Well, boy, was I wrong about that. It's been a few days since that guy died. Things have taken a bit of an unexpected turn.
More specifically, the people are preparing for battle now.
Like, what the hell?!
Why?!
A bunch of soldiers and stuff have been gathering in town.
There's been lots of logistical talk, too.
Seems like everyone's rarin' for a fight. They're totally gearing up to go to war. The only person who seems bothered by this is the lord of the town.
It seems like he was hoping to avoid war if at all possible, but instead, now he's stuck on the front lines.
Everyone else's morale is super high.
How did things even end up like this?
Well, nothing to do with me, that's for sure.
Yep.
I've definitely got nothing to do with it.
I haven't heard anyone talking about beating down those bastards who tried to steal their Divine Beast or anything like that.
Nope, definitely not.
Ugh.
Unreal.
It seems like the reason for the war is 'cause I offed that annoying old guy. His country, which I guess is called Ohts or whatever, has always had a bad relationship with this one, which is called Sariella.
It seems to be about a difference in religious beliefs or something, but I don't really know the details. So Mr. Cool Guy from Ohts is dead.
The cause: me.
If he'd just been attacked and killed by some ordinary monster, they might've been able to work things out, but right now Sariella sees me as some kind of Divine Beast, so it's playing out sort of like this: Your Divine Beast whacked one of our guys; what are ya gonna do about it? Don't play dumb; your goon tried to lay a hand on our Divine Beast first. What's that, wise guy? You wanna go? Bring it on, asshole!
That's the gist of the exchange, as far as I can tell. They probably weren't talking like old-timey mobsters, but seriously, you get the idea.
Ha…ha…ha. How stupid can these people get?
Don't go to war over something like that.
No waaay. What a half-assed reason!
I'm getting culture shock over how easily these people decide to kill one another!
I mean, we're not talking about a little brawl here.
This is war, all right?
Should you really be starting a war so casually?
I mean, I guess it's not my place to say that as an outsider, and it's not like I can really say it to them anyway. But I'm not really a total outsider here, either. In fact, I'm in the weird position of being both an outsider and kind of involved at the same time.
Hmm.
Hmmmm.
What should I do now?
I mean, if they wanna go to war, normally I'd say they can go right ahead, but I feel kind of weird about it when it's happening because of me. Right, right. I know, okay? Yes, I'm technically the cause, but that was really just an excuse. If you think about it, there's no way they'd send such an annoying little man to do an important job like bringing me to their country. The only explanation is that he was a pawn sent here to cause trouble between the two countries. Once that plan went south, they'd use it as a justification to attack Sariella. I guess they got what they wanted. As proof, the lord who's been working so hard to avoid a war has finally given up. From what I hear, troops are already gathering in Ohts. Not only that, but their allies are sending reinforcements, too. They're practically champing at the bit. If someone intends from the beginning to start a war, there's not really anything you can say or do to prevent it. And they basically used me as a scapegoat to start their little war. Ugh! I'm not one to go around telling people when they can or can't have a war, but if I'm being used in the process, that kinda makes me mad. Hmm. How am I gonna vent this anger? Oh, wait. Why don't I just participate in the war? That'd be pretty simple. Ohts is the country that used me as a scapegoat, after all. And that's who Sariella is about to go to war against. As their beloved Divine Beast, I can take part in the war to protect Sariella. Yep, that all checks out. Besides, if I go to war, that means I'm gonna end up killing lots of people. Humans give a lot more experience points than monsters. Mm, I can't say no to that. If you look at it that way, war starts to seem like a great way to grind EXP. I'm nowhere near strong enough to fight the Demon Lord yet. If I want to get a little closer, well, earning tons of experience isn't a bad way to do it. On top of that, if I fight in the war, my fame in Sariella will skyrocket. The more I think about it, the better it sounds. If I leave the area of the town, the elves might try to pull something, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. As long as I wipe out all the elves who're in this town before I leave, I'm sure it'll be fine. This plan is perfect. Too perfect! Kinda makes me want to pull a nasty face and go, "Just as planned!" Heh-heh-heh. My mind is made up. No turning back now. Time to go to war. So here we are, reporting live from the battlefield! Humans, humans, humans, as far as the eye can see! If I had to put it into words, I'd say it reminds me of a certain Comi-what's-it event that happens in Japan every summer and winter! As a side note, I've never once set foot on that particular battlefield! This may surprise some viewers, but do you really think I'd be able to handle such a huge crowd of people?! I would definitely get overwhelmed and pass out! In fact, I feel like I could pass out right now! That's my report for today! …Can I pass out now? I mean, seriously. The soldiers started moving, so I snuck along to check things out, and bam! Tons and tons of people everywhere. They're all clanking around in full armor and equipment, too. At a glance, it's hard to say exactly how many people there are, but both sides seem to number in the tens of thousands. Doesn't that seem like a lot? I activate Professor Wisdom's Detection and get a more precise number. On the Sariella side, forty-two thousand. On the side of the Ohts Alliance, fifty-three thousand. Okay, gotcha. About half the size of the battle of Sekigahara, then. Ha-ha…ha. Waaay too many! Is this real?! This is the war you used me as a catalyst for? 'Cause it kind of feels like an all-or-nothing showdown to me. Oof, this is kinda giving me a stomachache. Assuming spiders can get stomachaches, anyway. Yeesh. This battle is a whole lot bigger than I imagined. I was kinda expecting more of a teeny little skirmish, but look at what I got instead. So much for just popping onto the battlefield and swashbuckling around. If I do that here, it's gonna make things real weird, real fast. What am I gonna do? Not to mention, with this many people around, I might seriously pass out. Maybe I can still go home? But right as I start seriously considering that, both armies begin advancing. Even from far away, the echoing battle cries send a shudder through my body. Y-yikes. I fought all kinds of monsters in the Great Elroe Labyrinth, but I've never seen such a huge war between humans before. Based on stats alone, these people are all vastly inferior to me, but with their huge numbers, their strength would be nothing to sneeze at. The armies collide. If I stand around doing nothing while trying to make up my mind, Sariella is going to lose. The difference in numbers is too great. I don't know what the troops' stats all look like, but based solely on the size of the armies, Sariella is clearly at a disadvantage. And the place where they're fighting is a wide-open plain. The armies don't have any fancy formations. They're just charging right into one another. From what I can tell, Sariella doesn't have any way to make up for what they lack in numbers. Their magic attacks from the rear are definitely lighting up the battlefield, but the scale doesn't seem like enough to faze the Ohts Alliance too much. At this rate, Sariella is going to be defeated. Hrmm. If Sariella loses here, I feel like that's gonna be a big pain for me. The country of Ohts definitely isn't going to leave me alone. They blamed the whole war on my existence, after all, so it wouldn't look good for them if they did nothing about it afterward. I don't know how they'd approach me exactly, but I doubt I'll be getting worshipped like I have been so far. Yeah, that's gonna be a problem. And the easiest way to avoid that problem is to make sure Sariella wins this war. All right. No time to dillydally. Let's do this! Woo! A woman's gotta have guts! No point worrying about what other people think! I literally leap into action, putting myself in the air above where the armies are clashing. Some of them notice me and are looking up, but I just gotta ignore them. Ignore them! Seriously, if I pay too much attention to that, it's all over! Mostly because I would probably faint! I launch magic toward the Ohts Alliance forces. My wide-range Dark Magic attack smashes into their army, decimating their forces in one fell swoop. Ooh. How many did that just kill? About three thousand? Just like that, there's a huge gap in the Ohts forces where people used to be. Whoosh. The battlefield falls still. Everyone starts looking at me. …Did I mess up? Maybe I went a little too far? An awkward silence settles painfully over the area. The battlefield is dead silent, not including a sound that only I can hear: the sound of me leveling up over and over. Humans really do grant tons of experience. That one attack seems to have leveled me up quite a bit. As I sweat it out internally, wondering what to do next, a noise finally breaks the terrible silence. One of the Ohts Alliance soldiers starts running away. As soon as one starts fleeing, others quickly follow suit. The soldiers all scramble to get away as fast as possible. The Sariella soldiers come back to their senses at that. In a panic, they start chasing after the fleeing Ohts soldiers. Chaos ensues. Some of them hold out, since they seem to have a good commander. Nevertheless, the tides of the battle have now turned completely in Sariella's favor. ...Just as planned! Yep, let's go with that. My single devastating attack destroyed the Ohts Alliance's fighting spirit, leading Sariella to victory. That's exactly how I pictured this going! So on that note, I think I'll get out of here now. Being the center of attention like this for even a moment longer won't be good for my mental health. Considering how much the situation has changed, I doubt Ohts is going to pull a comeback out of a hat. I'll just head back early and await the triumphant return of the Sariella soldiers. With that in mind, I start to activate Teleport. But then, just as I'm about to use it, I sense something teleporting in front of me first. Something's coming. Now I'm really sweating, in a different way from before. This particular feeling is all too familiar. It's the person I met in the Middle Stratum of the Great Elroe Labyrinth, right after I beat that fire dragon. That dark man in black. Why would he be coming at a time like this? But my premonition turns out to be wrong. In the worst way possible.
"Sorry to interrupt your fun."
The girl who appears before me speaks in a casual tone.
"I'm going to have to ask you to die now, okay?"
With a big smile, she sentences me to death.
The alarms in my head sound off at max volume. Of course they do. Because the person in front of me is the one who's been chasing me around all this time. The Demon Lord, Ariel.