And he didn't
do anything wrong here. He deserves someone who's going to stand by him, not someone
who's going to take off as soon as Liam has a mood."
Julia felt tears spring to her eyes. "It wasn't just Liam. It was …"
"Drew. I know. And I get that he's got some legitimate feelings going on, feelings
that must hurt like hell. But finding a way through that is his own responsibility, Julia.
You shouldn't have to be miserable just because your brother is. And Colin sure
shouldn't have to be miserable along with the two of you."
Julia was silent as the tears that had threatened to come spilled over. She wiped her
eyes with her fingers and took a deep breath. "You've been wanting to say that for a
while."
"Yes, I have," Gen said. "But for what it's worth, even though I'm pissed at you, I'm
still rooting for you and Colin."
"You are? But why?" Julia was astonished that Gen could still be on her side, given
all of the things she'd just said.
"Because Colin's in love with you, you jerk. And I think you're in love with him.
And I'm a fool for romance, even when at least one of the people involved is being an
ass."
After a pause, Gen said, "Listen, I've got to go. I've got a client in the gallery. But
we'll talk more. I'll e-mail you."
She hung up the phone before Julia could respond.
Was she right? Was Julia being an ass?
Shelby Reed probably would never be called an ass by the sister-in-law of the man
in her life.
And was Colin the man in Julia's life?
There was more than one man in her life, Julia thought. And she had to gather her
courage and talk to one of the others.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Drew had left Cambria shortly after Julia had, and he was continuing to be stubborn in
regard to the Delaneys. But at least things between him and Julia had improved
somewhat. At least now, he usually took her calls.
This time, he probably wished he hadn't.
"You need to forgive them," she said the moment the call was connected, and before
he even spoke.
"No, I actually don't," he said. He didn't question who she was talking about; Julia
supposed it was obvious.
"Damn it, Drew, it wasn't their fault that Mom lied to you! It wasn't their fault that
she cheated on Dad! And it wasn't their fault that Redmond didn't come forward to claim
you! They didn't even know about you! Be mad at Mom if you want to—though I
personally think you should reconsider that, too—but the Delaneys are not the ones you
should be blaming here!"
He was silent, and she could imagine the angry, brooding look on his face. "Are you
finished?" he said.
"I guess so. Are you finished holding your precious grudge?"
"So, what prompted this call, anyway?"
She was sure he already knew the answer, and she was equally sure that if she said
it, her response would only make things worse. She didn't answer him.
"This is about him, isn't it?" Drew sounded like he was clenching his teeth hard
enough to crack a walnut.
"Yes. It's about him. Please, Drew. I like him so much. I even think … Oh, God, I
think he could be the one if I could just give it a chance, but I turned him down because
of you! Because I didn't want to hurt you! And now I can't stop thinking about him, and
I'm miserable as hell because I have to choose between the man I've been waiting my
whole life for and my brother!" She paused, breathless, waiting to hear what he would
say—whether he would put aside the anger he'd been carrying to let his sister be happy.
"If you really cared about my feelings as much as you say you do, then this wouldn't
even be an issue," he said, his voice tight and angry. "You could choose any other guy in
the world—any other guy—but it's got to be him? That's bullshit, Julia. You're doing
this to hurt me, and you goddamned well know it."
"Drew—"
"I don't know why you think you need my approval, but you don't have it." And he
hung up on her. She couldn't believe that he'd just hung up on her, but she didn't know
why it should be hard to accept. He'd been shutting her out, accusing her, and turning his
anger on her for three years now. Why did she think he would stop now?
For the first time, she began to see the intensely self-involved nature of Drew's
misery. He couldn't see that she'd been standing by him, reaching out to him, all this
time. He couldn't see that the Delaneys—with the exception of Liam—were blameless,
and had done their best to be accommodating. He couldn't see that their mother had made
a mistake and was sorry for what she'd done, and was eager to make amends. He couldn't
see that Redmond had done what he did to try to keep Drew's family life intact. He
couldn't see anything beyond his own pain, his own determination to wallow in the fact
that he'd been wronged.
Julia had stuck by her brother even when he'd all but cut her off. She'd gone with
him to Cambria so he wouldn't have to face the Delaneys alone. She'd even given up the
man she was more and more certain was intended to be her one true love—all for Drew.
And what was he willing to give back to her? Nothing. How much did he care about her
feelings, her pain? Not at all, apparently.
She'd given up Colin to avoid losing Drew, but she didn't have Drew—not really.
But she could hardly make things right with Colin now, after she'd rejected him, and
after so much time had passed.
Drew wasn't the only one slogging around in misery—Julia was doing a pretty good
job of it herself.
When Gen e-mailed her later that day, as promised, to continue their discussion of
everything that had happened between Julia and Colin, Julia had needed to unload. She
had needed to unburden herself to someone who might understand.
She wrote to Gen:
I think I'm in love with Colin. And I think walking away from him was the biggest
mistake of my life.
It felt good to get it out there—even if there was nothing she could do now to correct
her terrible error.
"Don't take my word for it. You can read it yourself," Gen told Colin as they sat
together at the kitchen table in the main house at the ranch. It was two days after Sandra's
party, and somehow, Colin found himself still here. Typically, he'd have headed out first
thing the morning after the party, but the loneliness of his San Diego condo just seemed
like more than he could handle right now.
Gen turned her laptop around and showed Colin the e-mail on her screen.
An e-mail from Julia.
I think I'm in love with Colin, it said. And I think walking away from him was the
biggest mistake of my life.
He froze as he looked at the words on the screen. His heart was beating faster, and
his fingers and toes had gone numb. Could this be real? Could Julia really have written
this? He checked the sender address to be sure.
"I …" He was speechless. He swiped his hand over his face. He cleared his throat,
and tried to regain some coherence. "I don't think you were supposed to show me this,"
he said.
"Desperate situation, desperate measures," Gen said. "I had to do something. You're
a mess!"
She was right; he was. He was still managing to do his job; he was still managing to
take a shower every day and get dressed and do the things a reasonable man was expected
to do. But he didn't feel like himself. He wasn't the happy, optimistic guy he wanted to
be. He figured he'd left that guy with Julia.
He looked at Gen helplessly. "Well … what am I supposed to do with this?" He
gestured toward the computer screen and the e-mail still displayed there.
"Go out there! Talk to her! Woo her!" Gen said it as though it should have been
obvious. But she wasn't taking into account the fact that he'd been dumped.
"She told me she wasn't interested." Just remembering that made him feel a little
sick.
"Well, she obviously is," Gen insisted. "She was just worried about her brother."
"And that situation hasn't changed," he reminded her.
"She said giving you the brush-off was the biggest mistake of her life!" Gen
exclaimed.
Sandra had been puttering around the kitchen while the two were talking. She'd been
cleaning out the refrigerator in the wake of the party, and she'd had her head shoved into
the freezer section during the last part of the exchange. Now, she withdrew from the
freezer, turned around, and put her rubber-gloved hands on her narrow hips.