Chapter Song Suggestion - "Unlimited by Megan Wofford"
"Idiots!" Shuhei slammed his teacup down, startling Inka. "How dare they traumatise a young maiden's heart! I'm ashamed to call them my brothers. I apologize on their behalf, little dove. Kyoutarou's probably going out of his mind with worry as we speak," he snickered. "Serves him right. I'm more concerned about Akio's attitude towards you. It's about time we left. Distance might whittle his dangerous obsession."
She nodded in agreement. "I think that's a good idea." Pursing her lips, she edged closer to him. "Are you close with General Attaw?"
Shuhei didn't bother to hide his smile. The little dove was curious. "General Attaw is our childhood playmate who used to live in the Imperial Palace. Her father served as the old man's General too. We all took lessons together." He studied her seriousness. "Attaw has been infatuated with Kyoutarou since they were children. We've always treated her like a sister, and I know he's never loved her in the romantic sense. But she can be as stubborn as an ox. If she's boldly seducing him now, that means Kyoutarou must have somehow misled her." He guffawed, perversely enjoying his brother's suffering. "He's reaping what he sowed."
"I'm just angry at myself for feeling this way. My skin feels tight when I think about them together." Desperation bled into her voice. "How do I stop it?"
"That, little dove is the price we pay when we love someone. It's called jealousy," he remarked deftly.
"How can I be fit for an Emperor if I get jealous all the time? How will I confront his past?"
"There's nothing wrong with getting jealous. It means that you care." Shuhei rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Ignoring your lover's past is difficult but, it won't always define the future you will have together. It's an obstacle to overcome. The only advice I can give is to appreciate the fact that he chose you. Right now, you're the one he wants to be with, the one he cares for when he has never fallen for anyone." He flashed a cocksure smile, resembling Kyou in some ways that made her heart ache. "Doesn't that speak for itself, little dove?"
Her mouth twitched. "You're right. But I think it's best for me to steer clear of Kyou until I straighten out my emotions."
"Who am I to stop you? You know I don't encourage your relationship because I want you for myself."
"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed. "We both know you don't truly mean it and you'll make me a better friend than a lover." Her eyes twinkled. "If there is one lesson I've learnt from my relationship with Kyou, is that love feels better when there's passion."
"Ouch," Shuhei rubbed the palm of his heel against the place his heart resided. "Now my ego is bruised, and my heart is broken."
She laughed at his disgruntled look. "You have enough confidence for ten men. All of you do."
He made of show of brushing and adjusting his impeccable robe. "That is true. You can't be this good-looking and have zero confidence in life."
Inka shook her head at his self-admiration. This was one of the reasons she wasn't attracted to him. At all.
"Anyway, we'll set off in the morning. It's not safe to stay within these walls any longer. I already have a general idea of what's happening in this palace. We should return to Donggu. Your tribespeople are waiting for you."
A soft, thankful smile graced her lips. She sounded partially worn out. "Thank you for listening to me, Shuhei."
"I should be the one to thank you. It's been awhile since I've had a mundane conversation that isn't about war or politics. It's refreshing."
"I'm sorry if I'm caused you any trouble."
"Bah!" He waved off her apology. "This is the most fun I've had to see Kyoutarou agonizing over his mistakes. By the looks on his face, he would do anything to have you forgive him. His desperation is most embarrassing."
Her inner devil reared its head. "I wouldn't mind tormenting him a little. Let him think that we're up to no good. At least he'll understand a little about the way I feel."
Eyes locking, they burst into a fit of laughter like naughty children in the dark.
"I'll agree on that. Kyoutarou's had everything done his way since he was a child. This would help to ground him." Shuhei announced smugly and stood. "Why don't you get some rest? You can sleep in my chamber tonight and I'll take yours in exchange. I won't let anyone bother you."
"Thank you, Shuhei," she said earnestly.
His expression softened, a glimpse of a man from another time. "If you keep thanking me, you'll never be able to finish paying off your debt."
Inka wondered if this was what it felt to have an older brother. His words wrestled a genuine smile off her. "It's worth it."
"Goodnight, little dove. I'll see you in the morning."
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Kyou paced like a caged tiger, his mind replaying what happened this afternoon. He cursed Attaw for her indiscretion. Overwhelmed with guilt and reluctance to ruin his future with Inka, he marched over to Shuhei's room and rapped lightly. "Inka, are you asleep?"
There was no reply.
Sitting down, he laid his head against the shoji and drew up his knees to his chest. He was going to confess his sins. "You probably don't want to hear what I have to say right now but, I need to get this off my chest. I need you to know that all those other women, they don't matter. They never did." He began, stringing his emotions into sentences. Even if this was hard, he was going to do it.
"Attaw is a close friend. We grew up together, all three of us — me, Attaw and Nakoda. I know she has feelings for me, but I never loved her, not in the way I love you. I made a mistake. It was the night of my father's passing, and I was drinking to numb the pain of loneliness. I was intoxicated and Attaw was conveniently there, so I used her. It was selfish and irresponsible of me. I slept with her knowing I will regret it the next day. I never considered that even though Attaw was a formidable General, she was also a woman at heart. I stomped on her feelings when I rejected her, and our friendship became strained. In fact, today is the first time I've seen her in six years."
From the other side, Inka tip-toed closer to his voice. She saw see his silhouette and sat with her back against his.
Kyou paused when he felt her warmth radiating through the shoji. His heart soared. She was listening. "I'm not a good man. I have many faults that you have not seen, and I hope you won't ever because I don't want to frighten you away. I don't know when it happened but, somehow, you've become a necessity in my life. I never understood the complexities of caring for another or wondering what they were doing or thinking about or whether they were thinking of me. Being in love is strange and complicated that I think it's natural for us to drop the ball sometimes." His light chuckle sounded as if he had just made an important discovery. "It's funny how it makes me want to try harder instead."
"I'm not fooling around with you. If you want me to give up the harem, I'll do it in a heartbeat. Those women belong in another time, to another me that doesn't exist anymore, and I hope that it stays that way. If you're willing, I'll tell you anything you want to know about me or my history because I don't want a repeat of today." His voice betrayed his anxiety, a vulnerability he had never shown. Until now. "I don't want to lose you."
"I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I don't want to hurt you. You can do whatever you want with me but please don't leave me. Last night I had a dream that you chose Akio over me, and I can't describe the desperation that suffocated me. I was immensely relieved to wake up and realize that it was only a dream. And then, this afternoon happened, and I wondered if my dream was a premonition." He took a fortifying breath. "I will give you the time you need to think about what I said but please, don't give up on us. I need you too much."
Inka remained silent but he knew she was there. His body was attuned to hers. He would always know when she walked into the room. Wherever she went, he was bound to follow.
That night, he kept vigil outside her chamber, eventually falling asleep in an uncomfortable position. From the shadows, two figures watched him ─ one was miffed while the other was immeasurably content.