My sweat is dripping as I try so hard to endure the lashing in my body.
"Count"
I bit my lips to prevent myself from passing out, this is my own doing. I got punished because I'm a coward.
"5"
I'm weak.
"6"
I got carried out from my own emotion.
"7"
I sympathized.
In this world, if you show mercy then you're weak. If you can't raise your knife and fight to death, then you have no place to live.
"20"
I could feel my blood dripping from my back down to my legs. But I couldn't feel the pain, both physically and emotionally.
"Stand up" I heard elder Dominique's command. I hissed when my ripped clothes touches my wounded body but I ignored the pain. I just want this to be over.
"Why did I punished you Sashta?"
I look around and see the other kids standing in a line. They show no emotion for we are trained like that, no sympathy. But eyes can't lie, some were scared and the most corrupted soul shows the enjoyment of pain.
"I show mercy. I did not kill my opponent. I did not follow the order and for that, I shall be punished" I look straight to the eye of our very own nightmare.
"Do it"
I tremble in fear as he speaks those two words. It's clear that he wants us to become a monster, he is training us to become like them. If you want to survive, you must do what they ask.
I took the knife in his hands, the knife that took more than a hundred innocent lives. I stare at my reflection and see nothing but an empty shell. I no longer remember what my face really looks like, all I see is a monster.
A monster is what I become.
I walk in the direction to where the others are. They already know what will happen and they accepted it- this is our fate. To kill the weak and to die because we are weak.
I stopped right in front of the boy, he got brown hair and ocean blue eyes. I stare at him and all I see is acceptance and forgiveness, he accepted his fate and had forgiven me for what I shall do.
The guilt that creeps into my body is stopping me from killing him. I could feel the air grow colder, which means one thing- elder Dominique is getting mad and impatient.
I did not expect what happened next. The boy whispered in my ear
"You are a monster and no one will ever love you."
It happens so fast, the knife was in his heart and his blood was dripping down in my arms. I stand in pure terror as I stare at his lifeless body. Eyes wide open, pain and betrayal are visible as the light slowly fades in his eyes.
He is dead and I become the monster that he expects me to be.
"Magnificent Sashta" his voice was menacing and evil. He is truly a monster and I'm afraid that I'm turning into one.