'Hannah,' my dad said after a few minutes of shared silence. I must admit that being in that moment with my father definitely sent some shivers down my spine. I never hide anything from them, but then when Geoff came into my life, it seemed like I was operating in secret thus making me feel a bit guilty of what is happening right now.
'I can't ask you to stay away from him,' he said as he placed his glass of water on the table.
Did I hear it right?
'Listen. If I were to have my way, I would ask you to break up with him, because you are too young and I have so many dreams for you. You both are, but then I realized what good would it do if I will do that? Believe me, I have been thinking about this for quite some time already, and I never knew that I would be talking to you now in this manner. On the other hand, I want to teach you the value of responsibility. You gave your yes to him, so I want you to learn now how to stand by that yes.
When I was younger I remember I fell in love, and we were actually sneaking out from her father. We were happy, but then one day we were caught by surprise when her father showed up at the lobby of the cinema where we had our date. As a regular father, he then asked me to stay away from her and in a classic move, took her away from me. I was devastated, I loved her at that time. I didn't want to let go, so I went to her house every now and then just to get a chance to see her. And when I did, she asked me to stay away from her. No ifs, no buts. Hearing it from her felt different, it was more hurtful than the way I heard it from her father. It took me some time to move on, then I met your mother. Don't get this wrong, Hannah. I love your mother so much and somehow I realized along the way that it happened because I was bound to meet someone like your mom. I am definitely happy now with how my life turned out, with your mom and with you of course,' he explained, like it was just yesterday when all of these happened. Just then, Mom came and joined us in the conversation. Dad told her about Geoff and she looked at me. The uneasiness I felt came back, but when she gave out her smile, I felt relieved.
Geoff was right when he said that everything would be alright.
'Hannah, why don't you invite him some time?' Dad asked to which I nodded. That would definitely be great.
'What did they say?' Geoff asked as we walked home the following day.
'They asked if you could go some time,' I replied, and then I remembered that I had to tell him about something else. 'You know, I was informed earlier that I will represent our batch for the school fair. That pageant?'
He stopped walking and smiled at me. 'Really? Why, I am so proud of you!' he said, excitement was in his voice. He was all smiles and held my hand, then put them both in his jacket pocket. I had to smile and tease him.
'Why are you doing this? Are you ashamed to hold my hand now in public?' I asked while giving out a pout.
He shook his head, while holding my hand tighter inside his pocket.
'I want to keep it this close now,' he replied as he looked at me. Something about the way he looked told me that he was planning something. I squinted at him and then he gave out.
'You know I want to give you something but then we are just two young individuals who don't earn anything yet. So would you be okay if I'll give you this?'
Saying those words, he took out from his other pocket a short stem of white peony, apparently he hid it for a few minutes already. I didn't quite get the connection of why he held my hand in his pocket but then the feeling of being in love masked all of those other thoughts and literally, I was so happy. It marked that yes, I am in a relationship with him nonetheless.
'Where did you get this?' I asked. 'They're beautiful.'
He smiled and scratched his nape. 'From the gardener at the retreat house.'
I swear I admire his ingenuity.
'I love you,' he whispered as we got home. I smiled at him, not really knowing what to tell him. He smiled back and replied,
'It's okay if you can't say it yet.'
'I love you, Geoff.'
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'Hannah, I will be there in a few minutes, okay? Just finishing some stuff.'
A call came through while I was busy looking at the flowers that were planted in the same retreat house which I used to remember was the most hideous looking part of the campus. In what seemed to be the original edifice that stood there some twenty years ago, I went in. It looked very different, it was homey and I actually felt inner peace. Embracing the moment of being alone, every little thing that I had been thinking about and reminiscing about earlier came right through me, vividly allowing me to see myself when I was younger from my perspective now.
If life has given me a lot of changes, this was the only thing exempted. How I am dealing with myself when it comes to moments like this.
As I was pondering, the door flew open for a moment, then closed with a bang. I opened my eyes and wondered. I stood up to check if there was someone outside.
But as I stood there, I thought, 'Is this reality?'