Our first full day on holiday got off with an odd start.
While the rest of Althea's friends were upbeat and mostly jovial, the girl herself wasn't feeling all that happy. I could tell as she barely talked to me ever since we met eyes for the first time this morning. Usually, the girl would be all over me, given that we had spent the night apart. But for some strange reason, Althea stayed with her friends most of the time.
It wasn't like she was visibly angry with me. Whenever I talked to her, she would answer, albeit in short sentences and a frosty attitude.
Something was definitely off, and I can't put my finger on exactly what…
Still, we had a schedule to follow, so neither Althea nor I confronted this odd atmosphere. After breakfast, we went straight to the famous flower fields that everyone in the region was so enamoured by. If we were to go by train and bus, it would take us at least two hours to reach that remote place.
Fortunately, with the minivan that I rented, our trip was cut down to only thirty minutes. There was nothing off about the drive to the gorgeous flower fields, which made the reveal that much sweeter...
"Wow… It's beautiful!"
Grace was the first to marvel out with a beaming smile on her face. The endless patch of Nemophila dyed the glorious field sky blue, imitating the empyrean heavens above. And that was just the first trail.
To our right, there were arches of Summer Cypress, contrasting the sky blue fields of the Nemophila with a rich crimson hue. A Symphony of Red and Blue. That was the theme of this blossoming patch of land.
Now, I wasn't a flower aficionado, but I could admire the amount of work that it took to make such a beautiful place viable. How many gardeners, how many weed harvesters, how much money has been spent… Just thinking about it made my head spiral.
"Have you been here before, Desir?"
Oddly enough, the person that first addressed me wasn't my beloved girlfriend but a friend of hers who noticed our sour mood. Kiera, ever the keen eye on relationships, turned right at me and asked the question.
"No, I can't say that I have."
"Haha, then you should spend some time enjoying it with Althea!" Kiera pushed the frozen girl in my direction, much to her dismay.
"K-Kiera?"
"Oh, don't be such a downer! You're the only one here with a boyfriend! Us lonely girls will take our selfies alone."
"... I'm not lonely."
"No one is asking you, Evelyn!"
The silver-haired maiden snapped at the only other friend in their clique who was attached. Evidently, Kiera noticed a rift between Althea and me, and she moved to amend it.
Ah, I might have the wrong impression of this girl. She might be promiscuous and loves to party around, but at least she's a stand-up lass. Her social skills might be even higher than Len or Sienna's!
"A-Alright..."
While the others were confused by the situation, they sensed weird energy bouncing between the two of us. So, like Kiera suggested, the four girls left and gave us some space to talk it out.
And thus, for the first time since yesterday night… Althea and I were left all alone.
Although it was the beginning of the Autumn holiday break, there weren't many people visiting this floral field. Whether it be the pandemic or the fact that we were here much earlier than expected, there were only four to five groups present, including our own.
Thus, there was plenty of space for me and Althea to talk. No one would overhear our words, and no one would interrupt us. Even if we cuddled, no one would see it unless they really squinted hard.
But there was no sense of closeness between us.
Standing on the crossroads, I stood at the blue side of the field where the Nemophila was while Althea stood on the red side with the Summer Cypress. There wasn't much space separating us, only an arm's length, but for some reason… I felt like we were miles apart.
This was odd…
This was the first time ever that I'd felt this way with Althea. She was always so upbeat, so clingy… So willing to share our warmth. But on this day, the distance between us made the Autumn breeze feel so cold.
"Althea..."
"Y-yes!"
My tone came out deeper than I'd thought. Perhaps she was used to my caring voice, so the moment she heard my low octaves, Althea shivered like a squirrel in fright.
"I… I don't know how to begin, but… What's going on?"
When encountered with the incomprehensible, it was best to face it head-on. I really didn't know what went wrong between yesterday night when we parted and this morning when we sat down for breakfast. In my opinion, I didn't do anything wrong. Heck, I probably did everything right! So why the hell are you ignoring me?
"T-There's nothing going on."
"Don't lie to me."
I didn't mean to sound that harsh. It was probably the hidden stress and frustration that was taking over. My body slouched over, and I no longer had the caring face of a boyfriend. No, I didn't know what kind of face I had. But from Althea's reactions… It can't be a good one.
"You've been ignoring me ever since we met in the morning! At the dining room, you barely looked me in the eye. Even on the drive here, you didn't take the passenger seat and chose to sit behind! Even now! You're avoiding me! Something is wrong!"
I became more and more impatient as I recalled every instance that led to this moment.
What's wrong with me? It wasn't like me to be this emotional… But the fact that Althea has been avoiding me… That planted a seed in my heart.
What if she got tired of me? What if she doesn't want to be around me?
What if... She doesn't want me anymore?
Just that simple thought terrified my soul. And to combat that fear, my emotions turned into frustration and anger.
"T-There's nothing wrong!"
"SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!"
I yelled.
For the first time since my childhood… I yelled. At the one, I loved the most, nonetheless.
It took me a good ten seconds to realise what I'd done. Althea's pale face was drained of any blood, and the tips of her fingers were trembling. I knew that I fucked up, so it didn't take long for me to snap out of my stupor.
"I-I'm sorry, Althea! I-I didn't mean that! I-I just..."
I stammered, unable to hold myself together. What have I just done? I actually raised my voice at Althea… This wasn't supposed to happen! Why did I do that? I just wanted to know what's going on. Why was I so emotional?
What if… This would be the rift that would keep us apart?
"It's okay..."
Caught in the dirty murk that was my own emotions, it took a heavenly voice to pull me out from the pit. I raised my face, only to see Althea's just centimetres away from mine.
"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have behaved that way..."
It was as if Althea could read my mind. She could tell the insecurity that I was feeling, and to combat that, she put on a brave front for me. Walking into my arms, Althea shared bits of her body warmth with me.
Ah… This was what I was missing.
The raging emotions that ran through my mind slowly ground to a halt as my heartbeat pounded with a soothing rhythm. The connection I had with Althea, which I had mistakenly thought that I'd lost, came back to my senses as my heart melted with hers.
Goodness… Have we begun a symbiotic relationship? Why are my emotions tied up with hers?
The loner from before might have knocked me in my head if he knew how reliant I was on Althea. Haha, but if he did try to hit me, I would knock him right back! This was what made me whole. My relationship with Althea, the feelings we had for each other… They were still there. I was nervous for nothing.
"Sorry, Althea… I lost myself for a moment there. It won't happen again."
I swore with my soul on the line. Althea must have had her reasons for avoiding me. However, I knew from the bottom of my heart that she would never leave me. Don't ask me how I know that. From our simple embrace, I could feel everything that she was feeling. And there wasn't a hint of disgust or fear in her heart.
If she wanted to avoid me, Althea must have wanted some space. I shouldn't be so insecure in the future.
"No, it's fine." Althea shook her head in my chest. Just like how I could feel her emotions, she could feel mine. She knew that I wasn't really mad at her or that I wanted to hurt her. "I was the one who wasn't honest with you."
Althea slowly released her embrace over me as her hands slipped down my arms and met mine.
"I was avoiding you because I don't know how to face you now. Yesterday, the girls asked me some personal things about you, and I'd accidentally revealed them. I was mad at myself for betraying your faith."
"Ah, so that was the case..."
So it was something like that… My mind became clearer, and the weight on my chest was fully released.
"T-Then, you started acting like a playboy with my friends! Then, that anger with myself became anger with you! I started feeling jealous, angry, remorseful… My emotions were in shambles, and I didn't know how to react around you anymore. So I decided to distance myself to get my emotions in check. I didn't expect that you would begin feeling a myriad of emotions yourself because of my selfish actions."
"Hah… If that's the case, I should have been more attentive. I should have given you your space."
"No, I was in the wrong first..."
By ignoring me, our seemingly telepathic connection was severed. Her emotions grew out of check; my mind wandered in useless directions… It became a flaming bedrock for an eruption to occur.
"... Am I a troublesome girl?"
"Huh?"
"It's just..." Althea's eyes darted around as she muttered in a soft voice. Though, not quiet enough that I couldn't hear her. "I get jealous easily. I hate it when you're kind to other girls, even if they're my best friends. And I don't have a career path like my friends. My future isn't as well-defined as the others. I don't have anything that I'm good at and..."
"Let me stop you right there."
I placed my index finger on Althea's rosy lips, silencing her before she could fall down this rabbit hole. With our connection reestablished, I could tell where this was going. She was going into self-doubt, and eventually, Althea would break herself from within.
There's no way in hell I'm going to let that happen.
"I love you more than anything in the world, you know that, right?"
"Y-yeah..."
"So why bother about those useless thoughts? I'm only kind to girls because I want to impress you. I'm only attractive because I want to be attractive to you. Everything that I do revolves around you. Just thinking about you leaving me was enough to give me a mental breakdown. Do you really think I could go for someone else other than you?"
"B-But, my future..."
At this point, Althea was just grasping for straws. She knew that the conversation was over, but she still wanted to degrade herself. Seriously, what a troublesome girlfriend… Smiling, I continued:
"Don't be silly, Althea. Not everyone knows what they want to do, even if they are in their final year of university. Many of my friends were the same. Heck, even I was the same as you."
"R-Really?"
"Yeah, didn't I say? I stumbled upon this IT career because it was the easiest path for me. I don't really have a passion for what I do. I just do it because I'm good at it, and it makes me money. You, on the other hand, have the potential for something more."
"Something more?"
"That's right!" I stroked my lover's head. "You're still young! You have all the time to decide what you want to be! Do you want to be a fashion designer? Go ahead! Do you want to be a business manager? You can do it! Do you want to be a diplomat like your father? I believe you have the potential! There are so many paths that are open for you!"
"I-I see..."
"Also, there is one more thing..."
I leaned in and hugged Althea with all my might. Her soft fragrance mixed in with the symphony of flowers intoxicated my senses. However, I still managed to pull out the following words: "I'll always be there to support you. You know that, right?"
"Y-yeah..."
"So don't call yourself troublesome again. You're my woman, and I will stick with you no matter what."
"Okay!"
Finally, after a long, frosty morning, Althea and I have reconciled. The fact that we even had that distance between us was ludicrous, to begin with. It was just misunderstandings piled up upon misunderstandings.
"Hey, isn't this our first big fight?"
"Come to think of it… You're right."
Althea and I had many skirmishes in the past, but they were nothing of this extent. They were more like annoyances that she took too long shopping, or I forgot to leave the toilet seat down.
This time, however, we had a major row. Can't say that I'm a fan of this, and I'll probably do my best to avoid such fights from ever occurring again.
"They say that fights make a couple stronger… Have we become stronger?"
"I don't know, but one thing's for sure."
I held Althea tightly in my embrace as if she was worth a billion precious diamonds. No, Althea's worth to me was far more than just material gains. She was my everything, and this fight just reaffirmed that.
"I'll never let you go."
"Yeah," Althea returned my hug with her own.
"I'll never let you go too..."
Needless to say, when we returned back to the inn, Althea and I bonded like there was no tomorrow, regardless of the teasing that Althea's friends put us through as we disappeared through the private hot spring doors.