Chereads / Angel In The Pandemic / Chapter 69 - The Memories That Bind Us

Chapter 69 - The Memories That Bind Us

We didn't linger after paying our respects to mom. However, we didn't have any further plans left, so Len suggested that we just rest at the nearby cafe. It was still early for dinner, so we simply ordered some beverages to quench our summer thirst.

No, not all of us ordered cooling drinks only. Althea and Sienna were particularly interested in the baked goods that my hometown had to offer. The strawberry butter tart and almond croissant were, in particular, popular with the sweet-toothed pair.

"... Our summer vacation is coming to an end, huh?"

Len heaved a deep sigh after a brief moment of bliss where the two girls chowed down on their baked goods.

"Time really passes when you have good company."

"Yeah, it's a shame that I can't be with Althea every day!"

"Sienna… What about me?"

"Huh? Who cares about you, Len? I would rather one Althea than ten of you."

"Hello? Ain't I your boyfriend?!"

"It can't be helped; Althea is so much better to touch!"

"... Don't go molesting my girlfriend, Sienna."

"It's not molesting if it's consensual!"

A bicker began between the three of us, with Althea watching on the sidelines with bated breath. This routine was normal for us, and we had replayed similar scenarios throughout our short-lived vacation. However, none of us grew sick of it. Instead, it felt like we relished in these moments where we could make fun of each other.

It's been a while since I had this much joy and laughter in my life. It was completely different from my grey and hollow life before. Day by day, the sun shined brighter, and the air tasted fresher. Everything seemed new and in a weird way… Refreshing.

And it was all because of this little angel sitting by my side.

Noticing my gaze, Althea looked up at me. A tinge of confusion flashed through her eyes as if she were asking me, 'What's the matter?' Not knowing how to put my feelings into words, I shook my head and smiled.

"Now that I think about it, didn't Auntie bring us here often?" Len suddenly erupted with a question, throwing me off guard.

"... Yeah, I believe so."

"Haha, so that's why you brought us here!"

"No, I..."

I just wanted a nice place to relax. That was a valid excuse, but that probably wasn't it. Subconsciously, I'd likely envisioned this place as a safe spot where I could sit back and be transported back in time.

Len was right. Maybe the reason I brought Althea and the rest here… was to celebrate the memory of my mother.

"... If it's not too much to ask, could you tell us more about her?"

"Mom?"

"Y-yeah… It's just, you rarely told me stories about her..."

My brows furrowed at Althea's words. Did I really withhold that much information?

"Hehe, Auntie was a really nice person!" Len hurriedly replied in my place. "She would always take care of Desir and me, even if we were drenched in mud from the neck down!"

"Ah, from when we tried to catch mudskippers?"

"Yes, yes!" Len clapped excitedly after recalling the scene where we dove into the sludgy river. "That was the best shower of my life! Also, the hot chocolate milk that we drank afterwards still lingers in my mind!"

"Right, mom's chocolate milk was delicious."

It was one of my childhood prides. Mom wasn't wealthy or anything, and the other children had little to be envious about. However, when I let them try my mom's secret recipe… They all begged me for more.

"Really? Could you make it for me one day?"

"Sure," my heart warmed at Althea's request. Fortunately, mom did leave me with the recipe, so giving it to Althea was no issue. "When we get back home, I'll let you try it."

"Hehe, thanks."

Althea held my hand under the table just to prevent the other couple from accusing us of PDA. However, that didn't mean that her coquettish desires were gone. Leaning in, she urged me: "Continue, please. I want to hear more about her."

"Hmmm, let's see… Ah, there was this one time when mom brought us fishing..."

Bit by bit, I recounted the stories about mom. Perhaps it was the environment; I'd felt a floodgate of nostalgia break within my consciousness. All of the memories that I had with mom, the good and the bad, came back to me all at once.

How she got angry when I played out for too long. How happy she was when I'd gotten my first scholarship. The sadness she felt when her relationship with my stepfathers didn't work out…

All of those memories came back vividly to me.

Althea and Sienna remained quiet throughout our little recollections, fondly watching on as I told them story after story. In the end, even the bright sky that illuminated our way had become dark, and it was already time for dinner. Since we were already at a cafe, there wasn't a need to find a place to eat. We stayed on, talking about all of the memories that Len and I shared.

"Haha, remember the time when Auntie tried your cooking for the first time? The face that she made!"

"... That was a long time ago."

"Still! She said it was good to eat but immediately went to the bathroom to spit it out!"

"... Did that happen?"

Maybe that did happen… But even if it did, there was no way that mom would spit out the food in front of me. So, Len had probably stumbled upon mom spitting it out when he went to the toilet.

"That's surprising… To think that there was a time where Desir couldn't cook." Althea interjected with an amused look on her face.

"Everyone starts somewhere."

"But… From the way that she behaves… I think that your mom is a splendid person." The girl gradually leaned her head on my shoulders and coiled her arms around mine.

That small action surprised me and the couple that were seated opposite us. While Althea loved to cuddle, she never did it so publicly before, especially if she's in front of people she knew. Was she in some weird mood? I couldn't help but wonder.

And it wasn't just me who was confused. Len and Sienna noticed the change as well. Althea's jovial expression had turned into a look of sourness, with her face pouted and eyes clouded.

Maybe she's just tired?

"It's getting dark. I think that we should return earlier so that we can get enough rest for tomorrow's train." Len immediately suggested.

"Yeah, you're right." I didn't disagree. "I'll pick you two up after we check out from the hotel. Is that fine with you?"

"Naturally!"

❖❖❖

After making our plans for tomorrow, I drove the pair home and returned to the hotel with Althea. I felt that there was something on Althea's mind, so I waited for her to speak. However, throughout our journey back, the girl remained silent. Even when we retreated back to our room, Althea headed right towards the shower without sparing me a second glance.

Something was off…

Did she get food poisoning at the cafe? No, that can't be; the food there was solid. Then did she dislike visiting a graveyard on her final vacation day? No, if she didn't like it, she would have said something.

So what's going on with her?

Even when it was my turn to shower, Althea's face still remained emotionless. I couldn't tell if she was happy, sad, or even gloomy. All I knew was that there was something on her mind.

And fortunately…

"Desir, are you free to talk?"

Althea wasn't at her expected location when I emerged from the bathroom, resting on her bed. Instead, the girl was seated on mine, dressed in the same seductive nightgown she wore on the first night.

Her gorgeous sharp collarbones, which seemed capable of storing litres of water, seemed like it was welcoming me with open arms. Althea's tight, compact waist was just as alluring as my eyes were unable to break free from its spell.

Gulping, I averted my eyes and replied: "Yeah, what's wrong?"

"Come sit with me… It's going to be a long talk."

"... Okay."

Honestly, just being in the same room with Althea was enough to get my gears grinding, and now she was actually inviting me onto the bed? My male mind couldn't help but think in a wayward direction.

I settled down on the bottom of my bed, inches away from Althea, who sat near the top. Both of her snowy white legs were crossed comfortably, while mine were straight and plastered on the floor.

Wasn't this supposed to be my bed? Why is she the one at ease?

I ignored the random thoughts that sprung up in my mind and turned towards Althea: "So, what did you want to talk about?"'

"... Desir, do you ever feel alone?"

"Huh?"

"When you were talking about your mother… I saw you smile like never before. The way you talked about her, the way that you smiled so brilliantly when reminiscing about the past… It made me realise… That you might be lonely after your mother passed away."

"Ah, so that's what it is..."

I had to admit, there were indeed times where I felt that way. But for the most part, I have gotten over it. Yes, there would be times where I would think about my past and my relationship with mom, but those instances were few and far between.

"No, I've gotten used to it," I answered with a smile. "Mom has been gone for a long time, so I've learnt to live with the loneliness."

"I-I see..." Althea replied softly. "Desir, you're really strong..."

"Haha, why bring that up?"

"You were my age when your mother passed away, right?"

"About there."

"If that happened to me… If I was in your position, I would have likely broken down."

"Haha, it's nothing to be proud of," I chuckled. "I guess one of the main reasons why I didn't break down was because I used to place a mental barrier to protect myself."

"..."

Althea was silent, but from the look in her eyes, I could tell that she knew what I was talking about.

"No, I probably still have that mental barrier protecting me."

I looked away from Althea and right into the mirror on our hotel room's desk.

"Althea… I'm a defective human being. I fear relationships because I've seen many people leave me. My biological father left my mother. My stepfathers didn't care for me and left my mother as well. All of my friends in school… Many of them only wanted to use me just to leave… And finally, the one person that really cared about me… She left me as well."

This was perhaps the first time I laid myself bare for Althea to see. I hated this weak self of mine, and so, I buried him deep in my subconsciousness.

"In my entire life, I've only seen people leave. I push people away and abhor relationships because… I know that they will leave me someday. And I don't remember when, but one day… I finally had enough of it."

I looked myself plain in the mirror.

There was an ugly man, a man that didn't deserve to be loved. A man that shouldn't have love in his life.

… A man that people would leave.

That was my true self.

"I decided to distance myself from the outside world. If I didn't have any relationships, I wouldn't have to suffer the pain of someone leaving me. That's why I firmly rejected any and all connections. And in truth..."

I finally turned to Althea, who was blankly urging me on.

"I fear that our relationship might end the same way."

It didn't matter when or how. Eventually, those that had a relationship with me would leave. And based on my past experience, I can't see how Althea and I won't end up the same way.

Deep within myself, I feared that day. I thought that it was inevitable. I believed… That Althea would one day leave my side.

Maybe that's why it took me so long to open up my true feelings to her. To share all of my past and future with the girl I loved. I just feared… That Althea would leave me like many others before her.

But contrary to my belief…

"I'll never do that!!!"

"Huh?"

"I'll never leave you, Desir!!!"

Althea bellowed out. Tears formed at the recesses of her gorgeous, emerald eyes while her body convulsed sporadically. It was quite a reaction, given how calm she was prior.

"Never is a strong word, Althea." Rather than acknowledge her words, I decided to challenge them. "People change all the time. That's the thing about human beings. We adapt based on our current situations. People change, emotions change, relationships… change."

"..."

"You may not feel this way now, but maybe in the future, you would fall out of love with me. Or you might find the urge to meet someone else. Either way, no one knows what the future will hold."

"Even so..."

Althea grabbed onto my hands and stared deep into my eyes. I could feel the depth of her emotions, the power of her determination just from that action alone.

"Even so, I will never leave you, Desir."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

She just does?

There were millions of variables that could change our relationship. Even couples that had been married for fifty years could get divorced because of a change of heart. And yet, this girl had complete confidence in her beliefs?

This… This...

"HAHAHAHA!!!"

"W-What's so funny?! I'm dead serious!"

"Hahaha… S-Sorry, I didn't mean to offend..." It took me a good minute to control my outpour of emotions. "I know that you're serious; it's just… I envy you."

"Envy me?"

"Yes, I envy your childlike innocence."

To have a firm belief in herself and to know that she would never change… That kind of childlike desire was something I'd lost over the years. Before I knew it, I was already a cynical old man who thinks about everything that could go wrong.

But in a relationship… Mirco-managing everything wasn't the way to go.

If I had Althea's pure mind. The innocence that pushes her on even against destiny itself… Maybe I would be a lot happier.

"If I could revert back to that line of thinking, I would probably be happier."

"... You don't have to worry about that."

"Huh?"

Before I could ask Althea what she meant, I felt my body being pushed. There wasn't a need to confirm the identity of my assailant. Looking up, I could see a pair of emerald crystals looking straight down at me. Her ruby lips were shimmering brightly, and her ebony hair fell gingerly over her ears like a gentle waterfall in spring.

I held my breath, giving me a chance to feel Althea's warm and accelerated pants.

They got quicker and quicker until finally… Althea's mouth opened up.

"Desir… I swear that I will make you happy."