"Desir… Desir..."
Hmmm? Someone was calling my name. This voice… This tone… Why does it sound so familiar? Why does it bring me so much comfort?
"Desir… Desir..."
Mom? Was that you? No, mom's voice wasn't like this. Rather than mom… It felt like an angel's call. A whisper from the heavens and a hiss from the night.
"Desir! Desir! DESIR!!!"
"A-Althea?"
In the midst of my drowsiness, I called out the one person that I could recall. The ethereal voice that I'd heard became much more distinct, and the immensity of her tone became more apparent. Althea's call wasn't one of love and harmony but rather one of fear and urgency.
My eyes gradually opened, heavy as can be. It took a while before I could make out the image of the gorgeous young lady that always stood by my side. Her face was drowned with sorrow, and her eyes were watering up like a blistering rainstorm.
"Desir! You're finally awake!"
"... Althea? W-What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? It's already noon! I came over only to find you lying on your bed, sweating and moaning!"
"... Me?"
Now that Althea had brought it to my attention, my body did feel extremely sore. My arms were aching as if a thousand bulls were mounted on top of it, and my legs felt as cold as a winter's curse. As my eyes began to see clearer, I saw beads of sweat dripping down from my forehead and straight down my nose. The blaring light of the sun was both painful and bothersome, while the blanket that covered me felt like it weighed over a thousand tonnes.
This was the first time I'd ever felt this weak.
"I-It's already noon? Shit, give me a second, Althea… I'll make lunch for you."
"You're not doing anything!" Althea bellowed. She pushed me back down on the bed while her right hand covered my forehead. "You're burning up! Who cares about lunch now?!"
"B-But… Our arrangement..."
"Desir! Stay where you are!"
"Y-Yes, ma'am..."
Althea snapped at me, forcing me to abort my mission to get up. This was the first time that Althea had actually gotten angry at me. Not that I could give a full review of it, given my agonising condition.
Ignoring my groans, Althea headed towards my first aid kit and pulled out a thermometer.
"Thirty-nine degrees celsius?! Desir, you're running a high fever!"
"Thirty-nine? That's bad..."
Honestly, just talking itself was painful. My throat was capped up, and my body was being weighed down by an invisible force. Urgh, what good were muscles if they couldn't help you battle a simple fever?
"It can't be..."
"What?"
"Desir… Do you think that you have the virus?"
H-Huh? That's right… We were in the middle of a pandemic. And to top it off, the number of infected has been on the surge lately. What were the symptoms again? Fevers, aches, chills… C-Crap, I might have gotten it.
But, I rarely went out! Other than groceries and exercising at the park, I'd stayed home all day with Althea.
However, if I'd really gotten the virus...
"A-Althea… Leave now. I'll get to the clinic to get checked out. I don't want to infect you."
Coughing while struggling to get up, I asked Althea to return back to her apartment. The virus was a dangerous thing, and there were already over a hundred thousand infected in our country alone. I'd watched some features on the news network, and it showed many of those infected struggling on ventilators, fighting for their lives.
I didn't want Althea to fall to that fate.
"..."
"Don't worry about me… Stay home today, alright? Order some food if you need to. I'll go to the doctor now."
"..."
"Althea?"
However, it seemed like my persuasion fell on deaf ears. Instead of listening to my instructions, the girl stood her ground.
"... I'm not going anywhere."
"Althea! This virus is no joke! If I'm really infected, you will get it as well!"
"So be it!" Althea roared. "I'm not leaving you alone today! You're barely able to get out of bed, and you want to go to the doctor on your own? What do you think will happen if you collapse on the way to the clinic?!"
"T-That..."
Althea's words struck right in my logical mind. If Althea was present, it would make the trip safer and, at the very least, more comfortable.
My mind was saying yes, but my heart… It cared for Althea far too much.
"Althea! I don't want to infect you!"
"Too late for that!"
Althea ignored my pleas and raced right to my closet. She picked out a few articles of clothing and threw them right on my bed. At the same time, she brought out two masks from my drawer and headed to the bathroom for a wet towel.
"Raise your hands," Althea ordered. "I'm going to help you change."
"A-Althea!"
"Don't resist, Desir! Right now, your health is more important! I don't care if you infect me or not! I'm not letting you die on my watch!"
"Y-You..."
Those words… I said those exact same words when I carried Althea to the hospital that Christmas night. Did she hear me when she was unconscious?
No, that can't be…
"O-Okay..." I finally acquiesced. "B-But I can change by myself."
"Are you still being stubborn?!"
"No," I shook my head. Pulling myself up from the bed, I slowly rotated my arms around and brought the wet towel up to clean my face. "I can feel my strength returning… If it's just changing and walking, I think I can manage. However, I'm feeling a little thirsty. Could you get me some water?"
"... Okay," Althea finally nodded.
"Ah, and wear a mask when you return. I'll allow you to bring me to the clinic, but I'm not going to risk infecting you any more than I'd already had."
"This again..." Althea frowned sternly. However, the girl didn't protest my instructions this time. Just as she promised, she brought back a glass of water and wore the surgical mask that I'd provided.
And promptly after… We were on our way to the clinic.
❖❖❖
It was a false alarm.
When I reached the clinic, everyone was on high alert. They had plastic dividers everywhere. Every person was wearing a mask, the staff were donned in medical hazard suits… It was as if we had entered a movie set of a zombie apocalypse.
Still, the staff of the clinic did their due diligence and measured me for every possible metric. They tested my blood, my temperature, gave me swab tests to check if I had the virus…
Everything.
Eventually, after an hour of examinations, the doctor conclusively diagnosed me with psychogenic fever. Fortunately, it was a false alarm, and I didn't have the new virus that caused people to die in their sleep.
But still… Psychogenic fever, huh?
The doctor described it as a stress-related, psychosomatic disease caused mainly by chronic stress when exposed to emotional events. Most people recover on their own after a few days. Still, the doctor recommended that I resolve any emotional issues that are causing me stress.
And honestly… I knew what the cause of my illness was.
No, even an innocent child could tell what I was suffering from, let alone a doctor.
"Desir, after you take your medication, you should go straight to bed. Don't worry about your work; I'll help you call them if you need me to."
After we'd returned home, Althea continued to nanny me as if I was her sick child. She brought me to my bed, helped me take out my pyjamas, and even ordered a warm pot of congee.
Ah, this is new…
I'd never imagined that I would be on the receiving end of someone's nursing. Indulging in the warm porridge, I took my fever medication and laid down on my bed. Likewise, after cleaning up the mess, Althea returned to my side, sitting on the chair next to my bed.
"A-Althea?"
"I'll stay here until you go to sleep," the girl said plainly, leaving no room for me to dispute. "Don't worry, I won't bother you more than I need to."
"I wasn't worried about that..."
I fought my bitter smile. Even now, Althea was fighting against the arrangement that we'd made a little over a month ago. She promised to leave me alone after that one month, to distance herself so that she wouldn't bother me anymore.
It was a painful agreement, for sure. Back then, I was confident that Althea's emotions for me would pass in time, and we would return back to our merry old selves.
But… I was too naive.
"Althea… Sorry about today."
"..."
"I hope you'll forgive me. I wasn't in the right mind earlier today. If I said something to offend you, I apologise."
"..."
The girl stayed quiet. No, she forced herself to remain silent. From the edge of my bed, I could see her hands shivering and her eyes misting up. Althea did her best to remain calm throughout the day. From bringing a wet towel for me to change to calling the doctor's office, to calling a cab…
Even at the clinic, she was a rock that anchored my nervousness. Ever since she'd found me sweating on the bed, Althea had been resolute. But now… Her facade was being broken.
"... I was scared." Althea trembled as she struggled to say those words. "I was scared… If you'd gotten infected with the virus if you had to be hospitalised if you… were to pass on… I was so scared."
"Althea..."
Throughout the day, Althea had put on a tough front just to keep both of us sane. Needless to say, I was worried about being infected by the virus. The repercussions I may have faced, the possibility of being on life support and even… the threat of death.
Thus far, there wasn't a cure for the virus yet. Heck, even formulating a vaccine was difficult enough. If someone got the virus, the only thing that the patient could do was hope that their immune system was strong enough to fight it off.
But… In some cases, even perfectly healthy adults who had no prior diseases and had regulated their bodies fell victim to this deadly virus. That's what made this pandemic so much more different than the rest. Anyone could die from it, and it transmits far too quickly.
So… No one could say for sure that I would survive if I'd gotten this virus.
"Desir… What should I do?"
"Huh?"
"I-I… Promised you that I would keep my distance. I promised to leave you alone… But I can't stop myself."
"..."
"I'd thought that as long as you were in my life, everything would be fine. I'd thought that I could bury my feelings as long as you were by my side… But, I can't lie to myself anymore."
"Althea..."
Althea grabbed onto my hands, tears streaming down from her gorgeous emerald eyes. Her body was shaking, just like her inner self. Like a river of emotions, I could feel everything that Althea was experiencing through her touch alone. Fear… Helplessness… Desire… Love.
The girl was in a dilemma. She wanted to honour her agreement with me, but at the same time, she couldn't hold back her own desires.
"Desir… What should I do? I love you too much… So much that it's scaring me. I can no longer imagine a life without you! If you had died today..."
Just the thought of me perishing was enough to bring Althea to the brink of despair. She leaned in closer, ignoring the fact that I was technically still a patient. At that moment, both of us had forgotten our prior agreement. Althea was already at a dangerous distance, but I did nothing to stop her.
Instead, I asked with a smile: "Althea… Why do you like me this much?"
"... I told you before, didn't I? I like that you're kind and always so gentle towards me."
"There are millions of guys who are kind and gentle, Althea."
"But there's only one Desir Snow! Even if there are a trillion nice guys, I don't want anyone else— I want Desir Snow!!!"
"..."
I was rendered speechless. For one, I was surprised at the extent of Althea's feelings. I knew that she liked me, but to call me the best among a trillion… Goodness, I can't stop my smile.
I looked straight at the young lady, staring deep into all of her features. It has been half a year since we'd met. No, if you include the time we didn't talk, Althea and I have known each other for about a year now.
When we first met, I'd seen her as a beautiful university student who was a little bigger than a child. I'd always assumed that she would be out of my reach, a stranger that just happened to live next door.
Yet… We bonded.
We stayed in the same apartment. I cooked for her. She exercised with me. I provided her with a place to stay while she kept me company. I gave her warmth, and she gave me comfort.
She grew from an immature university student to a thriving young woman that held a charm capable of toppling entire countries. Althea was no longer the red-nosed reindeer that knocked on my door.
Althea was… the woman I loved.
Seriously… What was I doing?
I feared getting in a relationship because of how much pain I would be in. I feared falling in love because I didn't want to hurt someone else. And yet, all I did was cause agony with my actions.
My feelings hurt so much that I actually needed to see the doctor. Althea wasn't any better as well. Her body became thinner by the day. Her eyes were void of life, and most importantly… she was crying right before my eyes.
I can't take this anymore.
"Desir… I don't know what to do… Please, tell me, what should I do?"
"Forgive me, Althea… I'm the jerk."
Pulling what little strength I had left, I grabbed Althea by the shoulders and dragged her into my arms. Ah, how I've missed this. This scent… This touch… This warmth…
This is where I belonged.
"D-Desir?"
"What is it?"
"I-If you hug me now… I'll misunderstand..."
"There's nothing to misunderstand… if it's the truth."
"Hic!"
Althea let out a gasp of surprise. She pulled her body back, aligning her eyes with mine. The void in her soul cleared up and a whole different set of emotions set in. Hope, desire… and lastly, love.
Good grief… How could I deny such an earnest gaze?
"I don't know anything about dating… This is the first time I'd ever felt emotions this intense for a girl."
"D-Desir… You..."
For the first time in two weeks, my face broke into a warm smile. The emotions that I'd buried at the bottom of my heart overflowed, taking over all of my physical actions. And for the first time in years, my mind, body and heart, synced as one.
"Althea… You've won."
"!!!"
As I brought Althea into my chest, I leaned into her ears and whispered my true feelings. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I couldn't deny Althea anymore.
"Desir..."
"Althea..."
Excess words weren't needed. Everything that we wanted to say was conveyed using our heartbeats alone. Holding back her tears of joy, Althea hugged me so tight that it seemed like she wanted to melt into me. Though, I wouldn't mind that one bit.
Smiling from the bottom of my heart, I gently stroked Althea's head, bringing our minds and hearts together as one.
Thus, on the fourteenth of June, Althea and I formally became a couple.