"Luna-" Lacys familiar voice fills the empty room.
"Oh my god!" She gasps.
I stare at the mirror in utter disgust, anger brewing inside of me as I poke at my flesh. The bruises long gone, but the weight I'd lost in the past week has taken a huge toll on my body. My skin is paler than usual, far more bones poking through than ever before. Dark circles rim my eyes, thoroughly making me a monstrous sight.
Fact is, I wanted to blame Hardin. He's the reason I'm here, he's the reason I don't sleep, the reason I can't eat. At the same time I didn't have the energy, blaming him is tiring, and it's not like I'm not to blame to.
I refused the food, I stayed awake at night, I didn't converse with the pack or even leave the room. I've been clinging onto my old life, the person I was only last month due to a promise I made to my brother. In the end, that promise is going to kill me, holding on is hurting me more.
I want to keep my promise, I want to be the person my brother expects me to be, but seeing myself in the mirror for the first time in two weeks...I'm utterly horrified. This is the price for refusing to accept my future.
Who must I pay for that? Why do I have to accept Hardin and his pack?
You don't. My mind whispers, while the old me so very weakly attempts to convince me otherwise. I've listened to my thoughts, I've heard every excuse and argument.
"I'll get the doctor-"
"No." I croak, my throat weak from being silent so long. Wrapping a towel around my bare body, I shield my nudity from Lacy, and myself.
No one is going to save you, Kalli, only you can change your outcome. I tell myself silently.
"If Alpha finds out and I didn't tell him-"
"I can't stand nude before another man, Lacy...I've been humiliated enough." My voice is a low whisper as I finally turn away from my horrid reflection.
How is she even looking at me right now without wanting to vomit? I couldn't help but wonder, fully aware of my hagged appearance.
"Pack doctors aren't going to judge you, Luna." Lacy says softly, closing the door as she invites herself into the room fully.
My tearful eyes meet the females, and I almost want to break down and cry my heart out to her. Then again I don't see the point, she will always be on her Alphas side, naturally she'll defend his every action. Thinking such things only turns my mood sour, knowing I am utterly alone here, powerless against him and his pack.
"I have to get dressed, do you mind?" I glance at the door behind her, silently hinting for her to leave.
"Of course not, Luna." Lacy gives a small smile, quickly vanishing back out the way she came.
Heading into the closet packed with clothes in my size, I pick out a oversized tan hoodie and skinny jeans. Tucking my feet into a pair of warm ankle boots, I leave my hair to hang freely. Even though my clothes are larger than usual on me, I head out of the bedroom with a newfound mind set.
Today I fancy omelette, which is a huge upgrade from my current eating habits. I hadn't realised just long how it has been since I last ate, the hunger had faded after a while so it didn't bother me. But seeing myself, the vulnerability, the pain I'm putting myself through just to keep a promise, it's made a change.
A small step, but it's progress, right?
"Good morning, Luna." The pack greet as I pass them randomly in the hallways, I give the same smile and wave to them all, my mind fully focused on omelettes right now.
Finding a kitchen that isn't being used by the chefs, I route through the pantry until I find all the ingredients I want. Given that I've cooked this multiple times at home for my parents, I have the easy recipe memorised.
For the filling I whip up some bacon, tomatoes, bell pepper and cheese, the smell of my omelette cooking immediately awakes my hunger. This time I felt it, the clenching pain within my stomach, the starvation literally hurting.
Unlike humans, our bodies deal with things differently. I know first hand what it's like to starve, this isn't my first time, but I also know how quickly my body is able to recover. It won't take longer than a month for my body to be fully healthy again, although I admit it takes my mentality a while to heal.
Sliding the omelette onto a plate, I sit the pan in the sink and quickly chow down the hot delicious food. I couldn't help but close my eyes as I bask in the flavour, even when I lived with my parents I don't remember ever eating freshly cooked food, I was allowed the leftovers.
My stomach aches as I eat, even more so when I'm done. Another wolf would eat triple before feeling satisfied, but my stomach is stretched just from one. Still, progress.
With a small smile on my face, I wash the pots I'd used and put them away, feeling strangely calm.
"We have maids for that."
My smile vanished faster than lightning. Placing the last dry fork in the drawer with the rest, I fold the tea towel and turn to face the man that literally seems to haunt me.
"I know." Is all I say, not bothering to argue because it's pointless, and I'm tired.
Hardin glances me over with a slight frown on his tan features, grey eyes almost silver, swirling with silent storms. I'd never get used to his eyes, the way they change with every thought he has, every glance.
"Have you eaten today?" Are the words that he asks, concern laced deep within his rough voice, like he's finally seeing the weight loss.
"I made omelette." I say quietly, glancing elsewhere so I didn't have to keep looking at him.
"The chefs will prepare anything you ask for." He frowns at me.
I give a small shrug. "Anything I want, I can do for myself." I say, not particularly liking the idea of someone waiting on me hand and foot.
"It's their job, Katalayha, they're not forced to cook." Hardin states, as if knowing why I don't wish for them to cook for me.
Hardin still hasn't been in my memories, but I know he's figured out that I basically became an adult the moment I could talk. Cooking, cleaning, I was forced to run a house hold my entire life, if I didn't my parents would inflict pain on me.
"Do you need something?" I question, staring at my finger nails as if they're suddenly of huge importance.
"The pack mentioned they'd seen you, I thought I'd check in." Hardin states in a calm voice, too calm.
Despite not knowing him, I do know that he doesn't just 'check in' randomly, he knows I'm fine. Yet the second I leave the bedroom, he comes looking for me.
My mark tingles with electricity, a familiar sign of his desire, the darkening stare sending goosebumps through me.
"Don't...please, I don't want to." I whisper, my eyes widening slightly as I silently plead with him to not do this.
Hardin's familiar stone cold expression softens only for a moment, before he reaches out and grips my throat. His rough fingers force me to look up and meet his hungry eyes.
"You don't?" He mutters to me, his rough voice husky with want.
Gasping, I quickly push against his hand that presses against my centre through my jeans, surprise filling me.
"Hardin!" I hiss, panicking as I glance between him, and the doorway. What if someone comes in? Does he not care about the pack seeing us?
"I want to be right here, inside you, making you mine." Hardin growls softly, his finger pressing harder against the fabric covering my candyland.
Before my mind registers what I'm doing, my hand wraps around his wrist, shoving him away with all my strength. Hardin squeezes my throat, just enough to make me gasp a little, his face nearing mine as his eyes grow darker.
I know what he wants, and if I don't act then he'll take it, again. No amount of refusal with words has worked so far, he acts like he hasn't even heard me. But pushing him away, that gets to him.
"I strongly suggest you don't repeat that." Hardin growls sinisterly, eyes ablaze, bright red.
Every nerve in my body screams at me to submit, but at the same time I feel powerful being able to deny him. Even for a short moment, being able to finally tell him no, and mean it, gives me huge satisfaction.
"Then I suggest you don't touch what isn't yours." I say, my voice ringing with clarity.
Damn Kali, when'd you get so brave?
My entire body freezes over the second I see Hardins face contort with anger, the utter fury that burns within his blood red eyes. Until now I'd not seen his temper, not like this, not at me. It's very clear that he gets what he wants. While I have the strong urge to apologise and give in, part of me refused to do so, his reaction awakening some primal urge to disobey him within me.
The feeling that grows in my chest is something I've never felt before, it's indescribable, and a little scary.
Fearless.
Is this what it's like to not be afraid?
I'll admit it, seeing the rage brewing like a thunderous storm within him, the feeling is short lived. The natural state of fear I've been beaten into feeling my entire life quickly overpowers my bravery, and I shrink like a coward before the eyes of the Alpha.
"You're hurting me." I whisper faintly, my hand gently touching his that softly tightly grips my throat still. I could feel the lack of oxygen, the ache on my skin under his fingers.
His rage kept him in place, Hardin didn't blink. I didn't dare meet his glare, knowing he's having a full on war with his beast, hence why he's so rigged. Hardin doesn't hear my sound of pain, too far in his own head to notice how tightly he's choking me.
"Hardin, stop! I can't breathe." I whimper, tears of strain springing to my eyes as my lungs burn fiercely.
My hands grip his wrist in attempt to get him off, but in my weakened state I'm no match for him, Hardin doesn't even flinch. My ears ring with a high pitched noise, skull throbbing as I'm unable to gasp for breath.
"Hardin!" I try and say again, choking on nothing, panicking as my head spins. My hands claw at his, the most basic instinct to survive kicking in.
"ALPHA, YOU'RE KILLING HER!" Is all I hear, the voice unfamiliar.
The weight of Hardins grip vanishes, and my body hits the floor as I gasp for breath, choking again as it enters my severely burning lungs. My throat throbbing with pain, which I quickly reach for to ensure he's not still gripping me.
It was only seconds before I feel warm calloused hands grabbing my face, brushing my hair aside. I could see the pain in his eyes, the anger towards himself as his silver eyes flicker over my entire body.
"I'm sorry." Hardin breathes, on his knees next to me.
He reaches for my face, the urge to make sure I'm ok consuming him for a brief moment. Instinctively I scramble away from him, from his hand as if he'd slapped me across the face.
My eyes water with fresh tears, every bad memory I've ever had flashing before my eyes.
"Katalayha..." Hardin whispers, having nothing to say as he witnesses my terror for the first time. Until now I haven't cried in front of him, I haven't shown a flicker of pain in his presence.
Silently, the tears drip down my red cheeks, my heart racing with utter fright. My hand covers my throat, protecting myself from him as I slowly back myself away from him.
He's just like my father, just like every other Alpha male in the world.
A monster.