Heading out of the town I break into a run that Isla can barely keep up with.
I lose her completely as pulses of mana pushed me off the ground and my strides became longer eventually not coming back down to the ground.
I left Isla behind and flew straight north where the trail led to the large caravan of people.
I wasn't like the Villigars who would rather keep the status quo doing there best to avoid collateral damage.
The first fireball exploded in a blue blast right on top of the leading carriage.
The following ten destroyed the rest and blew apart anyone who started running, unlike the people of this world I don't discriminate.
It didn't matter if they were Olim or Terra I blasted them all to pieces.
By the time Isla caught up I had lowered myself to the ground finishing the job by killing any survivors.
Isla has long learned from me not to keep loose ends, but this was on a whole other level.
She fell to her knees at the sight that was in front of her.
The same hands that fed her, that held her in the cold and taught her what she knew now was slaughtering innocents without hesitation or remorse.
She had a hard time looking at the scene in front of her turning her eyes and holding her head in her hands.
The Livet house was more than just mages and warriors.
Women and children along with Olim slaves were brought out of the Village as they flee their impending doom, but I had no mercy in my heart for anyone.
All it took was one of these people to identify me or Isla and I have another enemy on my hands, one that was trained and motivated to take my head off.
The head of the same Olim girl that Isla had been comparing herself to long ago rolled along with the rest of the Olim that where either forced or made the decision to follow the Livet.
Her wide-open eyes were uncovered and staring right at Isla's direction.
'Am I going to be a loose end one day'? she asked herself unable to draw her gaze away.
She forced herself to look at the scene playing out in front of her.
She learned a new word that that day.
It defined a systemic form of procedure, it defined every one of my actions down to the times I slept and ate, that word was methodical.
Unknown to me, Isla's thoughts were taking root deep down in her psych, motivating herself to become more of an asset to me lest she be left behind or worse.
She has long since abandoned her feelings of affection, venerating me into an omniscient source of knowledge that would never fail to get what I wanted.
The trip back to the lake was a silent one as she worked her way through these new emotions.
Guilt and disgust threaded together a pictuture of her life, a life she wouldn't even know how to hate if it wasn't for me.
I wash the blood, feces and guts off of me before stepping into the pentagram naked.
I calculated from the voltage and the current that my wattage was at around 450 watts, which was right at the border of the human body.
I didn't raise the current, I fought tooth and nail against it but eventually leaving once it hits my vitals like my head or groin.
I surrounded myself with fire and continued to damage my body tempering it further.
It was extremely painful, but I continued for another three weeks like this.
The bunker needing to be aired out because of my burning skin.
Eventually after the first month my skin took longer to damage until a few days later I entered a meditative state unlike the rest.
Why was clinging on to this notion of myself so strongly?
I think about my first life as Otis, was I any better than those that I have slain in the name of my safety now?
My mother and father.
Leelan my college roommate and even my whole virology team, why was that important to me at the time but not now?
I feel another wave of clarity along with a blob of sticky black goo wriggles out of my heart.
I cough it out like a loogy leaving a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.
Stretching I feel lighter than ever almost forgetting where I was in a moment of peace.
The heavy feelings of frustration and hate that I carried with me throughout hundreds of lives felt lighter.
What matters now is finding out what I am, and how to fix myself.
Still meditating I ponder another question, what is mana?
I know it is noncombustible, it reacts with all matter even though it doesn't burn.
With enough mana pressure I can crush matter or even start a fire.
I knew my knowledge of mana was negligible, which was one of the reasons I stopped absorbing mana into my core.
I need more knowledge, and even though I am not actively accumalating energy into my mana core I feel it gathering energy especially after a healing session.
It seems that everything is a conduit for mana but the best conduit I have seen was mana stones, a material unrecognizable in all my lives.
If I connected the mana stones directly to the electric current they would just get smaller over time.
But the damn things didn't melt.
It was ridiculously hard.
I could put nothing more than a scratch and that was when using another mana stone.
Instead of increasing the current I stretched going over doing Qigong methods that where taught to me by our Chinese virology counterparts when we were at the summits and meetings.
Allowing the red energy inside me to move as I stretched, controlling my bodies impulse to release it.
Guiding it through my body I gently push against the air, a wave of red energy leaving my open palm.
I usually felt mana rush my system like a stimulant and I would crash the more energy I used but this vermillion energy was the exact opposite.
It didn't give me a high but every single one of my cells absorbed and released it like a warm bath.
Instead of calling what comes out of my body mana it should be called life force.
My body is brimming with life as if converting my mana into energy my cells can use to divide themselves.
'I don't think I need to eat as much anymore' I think to myself while getting zapped by lightning currents that don't do any damage.
My skin is a glistening bronze color, natural oils secreting and layer me with a soft shell I smell of earthly dew.
Even Isla cannot help but close her eyes and take a deep whiff of me.
I step out of the electric field putting my clothes back on.
Instead of eating in a rush like I usually do I take my time savoring the red meat.
I sleep before another round of sparring with Isla.
She wasn't able to pin me down, no matter how hard she tried, even the hard hits that initially stopped me in my tracks only rattled me.
Going from six to eight percent I step into the current.
Naked and cold I instantly get singed in the chest.
I grunt and keep moving towards the center where I kept the mana stones.
After three long months of this I was able to play with a ball of energy without letting the rest leak out.
I took advantage of this new found control and made plans to control my wild energy.
I sent out thin tendrils of energy to each arm and leg along with my five major organs..
The plan was to have the energy flow at all times through these places and make artificial veins for this energy so that I could minimize the energy leakage.
I failed miserably, it wasn't building the veins but keeping them active at all times was easier said than done.
We head back to the village with our duffel of hides and to hear any news of the massacre... there was none.
Bund is chatting me up before giving me my mana crystals.
"Have you tried it yet"? He asked as I stole a glance at his bottle of whatever it was, he was drinking.
"No" I said shaking my head.
He takes out another tin cup and pours me a bit of the foul-smelling liquid.
Taking a sip I choke and cough, this isn't alcohol… this is ethanol.
"Winter will be here soon, unlike in the south where you get heavy rain, out here you will get heavy winds along with it".
I nod which seems to be my only form of communication with him now a days.
"Mages will be coming after the winter to pick up the applicants how should I register you"?
"Register me as a no core mage and Isla as a core mage".
Both Isla and Bund were taken aback at this.
"If you do that Isla will be taken away ahead of you, all applicants registered as no core mages will be required to make the trek on foot".
"I understand" I said.
He was shocked that she was a cored mage, staring at her as she walked out of the room.
"Who would have thought' he musingly said to himself as a brewing laughter erupted from him starting from a chuckle to a full-on roar that could be heard outside.
Isla and I go back and forth for the rest of the week delivering all our pelts and exchanging them all for mana crystals.
We had a small hill of them back at the lake.
I continued my training ruthless to myself as I am to my enemies.
The wattage was moved to ten percent of the pump intake.
I could not stay quite during these sessions groaning as my skin is burnt and my muscles spasm.
Luckily, my resistance now was something out of a comic book and my body recovering at a visible pace due to the red energy inside.
I am eating with Isla when she suddenly blurts out "I want to go with you".
I don't answer her right away thinking of her perspective and how abandoned she must feel.
"I need you to go, for my plan to work… I need your help".
"Why? What is this big plan anyway? I've seen you create fire in the palm of your hands! I've seen you kill monsters an army of adults would have trouble against what is it you're looking for"?
She raised her voice at me for the first time.
"I need to get to the moon" I said to her throwing her off her emotional pedestal.
"The moon"? she repeats after a moment of silence.
'Yes, the moon, I have some questions about this world and I need to get to the moon to answer them".
"Also because of all those reasons you stated are why I need you to go ahead".
She looked at me confused.
I sighed and elaborated.
"I attract to much attention, I am eleven this year if I 'condense my core' now I would probably go into history scrolls or at least have a lot of unwanted attention".
She nodded after giving it some thought.
"What kind of questions do you have"? She asked me softly.
"Where am I" softly replying, mostly to myself.