I unlocked my door, praying that the key would work. The lock screeched rustily, its hinges in need of oil as I stepped inside.
Samael flinched. "Your dwelling really is atrocious."
"N-uh, not a step through the door!" I pointed at the red X I'd painted on the peeling front porch door. "Lookey here. Angel of Death forbidden on these premises. Just like in the Bible."
"So I can't spread plague or slaughter firstborns? Tragic indeed. I do so love watching those little black pustules form in Egyptian's armpits. But wait…" he traced the X. "This is from Home Depot."
"So?"
"So it means you didn't sacrifice a Paschal lamb to me and cover your door with its blood. I only respect those who offer mutton to me. You, however, made me nothing, and are trying to deter me with cheap chemical paint." He stalked in, grinning like a wolf. "Now, back to the Forbidden Fruit..."