Hearing the faint echoes of whispers becoming audible all around me, I try to find my bearings. I can no longer move. What happened? Am I being restrained again? One of the women in a blue dress is cupping my face in her hands, but my eyes refuse to focus on which one she is. Then, a faceless man in a black suit leans down and cradles me in his arms. He scoops me up, and briskly continues down the corridor, following the women into a room.
"What happened?"
"I don't know, she just fell!"
"Are we going to be fired?"
"Shut up, Elise! Of course not. We didn't do anything wrong!"
"Calm down, Anna! No need for harsh words. Akida will find out what happened and clear everything up."
"Hurry up unless you all really do want to lose your jobs! Benny, you get out of here. Marie, go get some water. Anna, towels. I'll get her clothes."
A door closes in the distance, and I feel myself being tugged around a bit. The world is a haze and no matter how hard I try to see through it, this fog of delirium is just too dense. Though I can't comprehend exactly what they're doing to me, I feel like I should at least attempt to fight it. I try to lift my head in protest, but I fail to hold it up. The moment I raise it, my neck muscles collapse. I fall back and hits something soft this time, something more pleasant than a cold floor. The voices disappear. And I fall out of consciousness once more.
...
What's that smell? There's a faint scent of Eucalyptus in the air. How odd. I don't remember being outside. With a new curiosity, I open my eyes just enough to let in the light. Nothing but whiteness comes into view right away. Still a bit dizzy, I blink a few times until the room stops spinning around me. Well, I'm certainly not outside, but this room is unfamiliar. Where am I?
The sound of a door opening coaxes me to fully awaken. A figure appears above me and I flutter my eyelashes until I can see them clearly. It's a beautiful woman! She's not a woman in a blue dress and white apron. Her raven colored hair is not tied in a knot at the nape of her neck, but cut short, one side longer than the other. It barely brushes the tops of her shoulders, like a paint brush, wanting to paint delicate flowers on her white coat. I'm mesmerized by her and simply can't help but stare until she speaks.
"You're a quiet one, aren't you?", she says.
"I-I'm sorry. I-", I try to speak but it comes out in a rasp and she cuts me off.
"No, no. Don't worry. I'm Akida. I'm the doctor of this manor.", she says as she places a big case down on a nearby table and opens it. "Have you seen a doctor before?"
Doctor... I've heard of them. The doctor tried to help Mama when she was sick, but there was nothing he could do. I don't remember it, but Father told me how the doctor came in and worked as hard as he could to save her. Father made the doctor seem like a valiant knight, fighting an evil dragon to save the princess in the tower. But this Akida looks nothing like a knight. She's more like the princess, with her twinkling brown eyes, framed by gentle brows. I shake my head to signal that I haven't seen someone like her before, instead of trying to force words out again.
"Well, I'm happy to be your first, I guess. We tend to get a bad reputation, but trust me. We're here to help. Last night, I came to see you while you were sleeping. Your heart was beating irregularly, probably due to dehydration. That thing in your arm is called an IV. It should help with that by giving your body the fluids it needs. I gave you some vitamins through that little tube as well. Are you feeling any better?"
An IV? I look down at my arm, where there's a bandage with a tube protruding from it. I follow the tube with my eyes until I find the bag she's speaking of. At the bottom of it, there's a machine with numbers and lights and all manner of buttons that I couldn't begin to try to understand. It's all connected to a tall metal pole. After investigating, I return my gaze to her. I nod my head and she holds up a device hanging around her neck.
"This thing is called a stethoscope. It allows me to listen to your heart and lungs. It doesn't hurt, but it might be a bit cold. I'm going to put it on your chest and take a listen. Okie dokie?"
Quite hesitantly, I nod yet again and she sits on the bed next to me. As she lowers the blanket slightly, I realize that I'm completely naked underneath it! Thankfully, she doesn't lower it any further and I flinch, as her cold instrument touches the warm skin just under my collar bone. She listens intently for a moment, before getting up and going back to the table.
"Much better.", she says, rummaging through her things. "The information I was given about you is very limited, so I'm not really sure where to start. I need a medical history for you, so I guess I'll just start asking questions and build your chart from there. You're seventeen, right? When was your last cycle?"
What kind of question is that? I mean, we are both ladies, but that's something that's quite personal! We've only just met and I hardly think it's appropriate for us to already be friendly enough to gossip or talk about bodily functions. Besides, I have read about this in Mama's journal, but it has never come to me. Unfortunately, if I don't answer her question, she probably won't leave me alone. And I certainly don't want her involving my master to get answers out of me, so I swallow my pride and focus my attention on the plant in the window.
"It hasn't visited me yet.", I reply.
Her shoulders arch up and she stops rummaging through her bag. After a moment of awkward silence, she sighs deeply and turns to face me. Suddenly appearing to be fighting some kind of inner turmoil, her demeanor changes. She's no longer the bubbly woman she was when she entered the room. Now, she seems filled with resentment. With a furrowed brow, her eyes meet mine, almost begging me for forgiveness or understanding.
Softly, she says, "I don't think that there are enough words in my vocabulary to tell you how sorry I am for you... I know that men and women are sold every day, but I've never had to be in the position of branding one or doing a preliminary exam myself. It's easy to pretend these things don't happen until you have to play a role in it. But I don't have a choice. And neither do you. This is my job, and if it's not me, someone else will do it."
Her head drops and she hugs her arms over her body. Branding? What does she mean by branding? Is she going to burn me like Father does to livestock? I don't care if it's her job or anyone else's! It's cruel! How could there not be some king of punishment for this behavior? Does the wrath of the celestial heavens not strike fear into their hearts? What kind of person would do such a thing to another human being?
"No!", I scream at her, sitting up and clutching the blanket to my chest.
She turns and sits down on the bed again. Her now dim eyes stare out the window, as a means to avoid meeting my frightened, angry glare. There's no way that I'm blindly going to obey while someone sears my skin with a hot iron. She may be taller and more muscular than me, and I may be weakened right now, but I'm without bindings now. With enough adrenaline and a smart weapon, I can probably take her. While I mentally prepare myself, scanning the room for something to use in a physical fight against her, Akida sighs and and finally brings herself to face me.
"Listen to me very carefully, Euroah. Zion, your master, is a cold hearted and lonely son of a bitch. He's a lot of things, but he's not evil. He just has a temper. He's been through so much. I can't tell you anything else because of patient confidentiality, but you just have to trust me. He doesn't set out to hurt people. And I'm so sorry. I told him to go find someone to play with, but I never imagined that this idiot would go the route of buying a slave! "
A tear forms in her eye but she holds it back and continues, "You got lucky with placement though. Many masters would beat you, rape you, force you to do unthinkable things. The laws are the laws and there are sick men and women out there who would have bought you for no other reason than to put you through unbearable pain. I'm so sorry that you have ended up in the position of being a slave. I'm sorry about the circumstances that led you here. But you have been blessed to be here instead of in someone else's hands."
"Why am I blessed to be here? I was happy on the farm with my father! I never wanted to be anywhere else!", I sob as she leans in, pulling me into a hug and patting my back.
"I don't want to cause you any further pain or trauma. I'm going to be your doctor and I want you to trust me to do what's best for you. But I also have to follow orders, Euroah. We both do. I promise you that if you cooperate and let me do what I need to do, it will be easier for both of us. The last thing I want is for someone to hold you down like an animal. I can't be the one to put you through that. They'll call in another doctor and I can't say what they'll be like. Please, please don't make this more traumatic for yourself."
For the first time since being ripped away from my home, I feel like someone actually sees my humanity. I've been all alone since this nightmare started and I want to lean on her. Her offering me a hug, even a simple gesture of kindness in my moment of weakness, shows her intention and I desperately crave a friend to turn to in this dreadful place. I want to trust her. Backing out of her embrace, I close my eyes and nod. She wipes my tears away and helps me lay back down.
"Try not to move that arm too much. Your fluids are almost done and I'll remove the IV as soon as it finishes.", she says, pulling the blanket back up to my shoulders.
She stands up and goes back to her bag, rummaging through it once more. It seems as though she's quite flustered, but is trying to keep her cool, so I lay in silence, and allow her a moment to gather her thoughts. There's no point in even thinking, for me, anymore. What I want doesn't matter. She pulls out several things before going over to a bottle of something and rubbing it into her hands. After turning on a light at the end of the bed, she puts on a pair of gloves.
"I need to take one quick look between your legs to confirm what your master was told at the auction house and that you are healthy. Bring your knees up, touch your heels to your bottom, and let your legs fall apart. I will lift the blanket only up to your hips and I will touch you just one time. Quick, easy, and painless. I won't do anything else. I promise."
I curse the heavens for allowing this kind of inhumanity to exist in the world. If I don't do what she says, someone will hold me down and a stranger will do it. Though I'm internally seething, that thought is enough to make me comply without hesitation. At least she's a woman. Some day, I will get revenge for everything my father and I have been put through. Some day, the heavens will avenge me. All the indignity I've been forced to endure will be made even... Some day.
I inhale, look at the ceiling, and do as she says. The sudden burst of cool air when she lifts the blanket gives me goosebumps. I feel one hand on either side of my private place, exposing the inner part fully. For a split second, I start to doubt my trust in her. I wait for the next betrayal, the next dose of pain. I almost jolt away from her, feeling vulnerable and ashamed, but then, just as soon as it started, the blanket is pulled back down and I'm completely covered again, just as she promised.
"Do you know what a microchip is?", Akida asks, taking off her gloves.