If there was something I found about Thea-chan that fascinated me was how surprisingly independent she could be if she's left in her elements. That sounded contradictory, didn't it?
It was a good few weeks after my fated home visit; it was definitely the first but surely it wasn't the last because it happened again a few days ago. 'Do you think I would just stop there after one visit?' But to my dismay, her big bro was not there. Not that he was my sole motivation for going there! No! Nah-ah! Definitely not. 'Why would I do that, though?'
But a girl could dream. 'Yes, a girl could dream.'
I met her mum on several occasions after that. Eventually my suspicion was proven right: her mum still took her to school. I tried my hardest not to snicker, of course. I felt that she wouldn't like it. She would totally hate me for that. Well, it's not that I totes knew what kind of girl she was. We were only a couple of months into our new high school life and we didn't know better. By the way, when I said she's being sent to school, I meant that it was not all the way to school. Prolly at the bus stop. Prolly. And no one there was batting an eye.
And her brother...
I saw him only a handful of times; the first time was on my first visit which I referred to as the fated one (again! A girl could dream, okay) and the other occasion was when he was in charge of taking Thea-chan to school.
I think I had the biggest crush on him. He looked so princely! At times I wondered how lucky Thea-chan to have an awesome brother like him. I was jealous. Damn, girl!
Let's go back to the topic of her being independent. Yes, she was. There was a time that our seating arrangement was shuffled.
I said my goodbyes to the deceptively dangerous spot I had been placed in. 'It's been a wild ride. See you, old friend.' I saluted my former chair.
"What are you doing?" I heard Sylv laughing behind me.
"I am just giving honor to my former place."
Still laughing, she left me to take her new seating assignment.
We couldn't do anything about it, could we? The whole affair was decided by drawing lots and, I have to tell you, that technique was impeccable (big word, right?). If some of us ever complained to our homeroom teacher, she'd probably shoot us down with "did I decide it? Blame fate."
I think the right comeback to that was touché.
As I was moving my way to my new assigned seat--rather hesitantly, I'd tell you--I caught a glimpse of Thea-chan. She already occupied her assumed seat in no time. It was just three places from her former one. And she was peacefully situated now by the window. How lucky was that?
I was kinda magically transfixed as I stood there looking at her; she leaned her chin on her arms while she was looking outside. If you never knew all too well, you'd think that she's just that one cool girl who didn't have a care about the world. Like she'd give you an eye if you ever invaded her personal bubble. Until you were disillusioned by reality.
What a shame because at that very moment, she looked really cool. That probably was where I got the impression of her being independent. I mean, she didn't try reaching out to our classmates. She might look mighty shy but she never looked like she longed for friends as long as she was fine with sitting where she was and playing GoBe. 'I kind of felt jealous of a mere mobile game.'
"Ms. Craighan, don't just stand there! Please, take your seat immediately."
"YES." I squealed in surprise. Oh my gosh! Did I just squeal? That was so embarrassing. Blushing, I made my way to my seat, which was three rows away from her.
Once I was seated, I looked back at Thea-chan. I was kinda surprised to see that she was gazing at me, her left arm stayed in place as her head just departed from it. She had that expression of mild amusement.
Her gazing at me was probably from due to the little incident earlier. 'I get it. It's funny, right?' I just smiled awkwardly at her. She returned the smile but it was a timid one; it felt like she was still conscious about her surroundings which I totally understood.. Well, at least she smiled at me. A faint warmth grew in my chest as though someone put a hot compress bag in it and it was pleasant. She returned to look at the azure sky outside as though there was something there. Her glasses sometimes caught some glints of light.
As for me, I just looked at my classmates while they all settled down. I got somewhat lucky because I got to sit with Sylvee, one of my absolute favourite humans ever. Once she's all set, I launched myself into talking with her. Our class was still noisy and we used that chance to have a little chit chat. I felt like I was breaking a rule or two and it thrilled me.
"Nice to see you on good terms with Althea," she said.
I smiled. "Yeah, she's a good girl. She's just very very very shy." I felt stupid for using three 'very's' to emphasise my point but I did it anyway. I guess being a dumb highschooler made my vocabulary rather limited.
Her gaze shifted; and from the looks of it, I assumed that she was looking at Thea-chan, too. Her expression was quite soft, like she was looking at something frail yet beautiful. "I wanna be friends with her, too." She gave an awkward laugh. "But with the way things are, that's nearly impossible."
I felt surrender in that statement, like there was nothing we could do anymore, it being the status quo. I felt that even if that was the case, I needed to leave the dent on it even if I could not break reality. "But you could try. Look at me, I managed to reach her."
"You're a special case, Sophie. Trust me. None of us can do what you just did." Now her smile grew apologetic. Of what, I wonder. "We tried but…"
I just looked at her instead of searching for the words to express my question. To be honest, Sylvee was also a mystery herself. She always says these things that sounded rather esoteric to my ears; if I'd venture a guess, her other language might probably be Elvish
Once everyone was seated, the quiet returned like an old friend.
While I was looking at the letters written neatly on the board, I thought of glancing back at Thea-chan. There she was, quietly taking notes of the lesson just like a diligent student would (which made me the exact opposite by my own definition as I looked at my black notebook). She'd probably ace the next exam; that's for sure. She's smart. Even our teachers remarked about that. The only thing that was holding her back was… you know…
Then I looked back at my teacher. I just realised that I could actually look at Thea-chan with ease. Well, it's not that I would look after her all the time. I just found it fascinating. But wouldn't it be bad to just do that?
***
If there was another thing I found about Thea-chan that surprised me was how affectionate she could be. Granted that she could be discreet about it most of the time, you'd feel it's there.
Like there was this one lunch break in which I decided to eat with Thea-chan. The gang fully understood it so they let me off the hook this one time. Sure was lucky to have friends like that!
Thea-chan had a lunch box while I bought my grub from the school cafeteria. My mum had left earlier than usual for work so she never had time to make lunch for me. She just left money on the table. Not that I mind to be honest. If it was additional pocket money, I'd gladly accept it. But looking at this girl's meal made me wish that my mum had made one for me. That looked so delicious, too!
"Did your mum cook for you?" I asked.
For some reason, she really liked to wear her hair down so that at times it almost covered her face. I was tempted to tie it in a neat bun but she might not like it. And I didn't want that. I remembered Sylv expressing the same desire to do just that on this girl. Belatedly, I laughed internally. But even though her hair seemed to be getting in her way, she looked unbothered by it and she looked so adorable with it. 'Fluffy Thea-chan.'
She raised her head and looked at me. I got this feeling that she was looking at my nose. 'What's with it? I know it's small, dammit!' Could it be that she's avoiding eye contact? Guess, she wasn't used to looking me in the eyes just yet. That reminded me of the time I had visited her place. There were occasions that she turned to look at me but our eyes never once met. I kept searching for eye contact but it couldn't even land. Not even once.
She shook her head no. If so, then who? But before I was able to voice out my follow up, she answered "my brother made it for me."
She almost never spoke but when she did, I couldn't help but admire the tone of her voice. She was an oddball, really. When the other quiet people speak, they either stutter or muddle their words. But her voice flowed carefully like honey. What could I do to make her speak more?
"Oh, your brother." I felt the flesh under my eyes burn. I wanted to go to her house to see him again. Admittedly, I began having a crush on him. 'Why not? He looks like a prince.' And that made me think: Thea-chan actually looked like a princess herself. Despite the way she usually wore her hair, it looked well-managed so I was guessing her mum made sure she shampooed it well.
"Hey, tell me: what did your folks say about my visit?" I didn't know why I asked this. Possibly because it lingered in the back of my mind even though the curiosity was not itchy enough to be scratched. Maybe I just wanted to look for something to talk about.
She returned to poking her lunch with her fork. "They asked me a lot of questions," she answered. Her voice became quieter than before. And she never offered any further explanation so I had to prod.
"Like what?"
"About you…" She sank her fork into a piece of ham and brought it to her mouth. I could spy a blush on her cheeks. That was probably a mouthful for her. Oh, I didn't even mean the ham.
That made me decide not to push the topic any further. So, I decided to pursue another one. "Say, Thea-chan. I wanna taste your brother's cooking."
She looked at me in mild bewilderment and that face was about to ask "why?" I was expecting her head to tilt sideways but it didn't happen. She pushed her box an inch to my direction like she was indirectly asking 'which one do you want?' So, I interpreted her gesture as such and said "the burger. I want to try that." I could still taste the homemade mochi her brother had given me. Those were delish, I tell you.
She proceeded to slice a chunk of it with her fork. There was an elegant nuance in the way she did that and she made it seem like the meal was as tender as the ones I saw on cooking shows. She lifted her fork with a hefty chunk of burger on it. Welp! I wasn't expecting her to do just that. I felt the tip of my nose heat up a little. I, then, brushed a lock of my hair away and I took a bite, the flavours exploded in my mouth. All I could utter was a moan of approval.
"That'sh sho good!" I exclaimed. What happened to your manners, Sophia? "Your brother really made that?"
She nodded.
I smiled so wide. "Guess I really have to pay another visit to your house anytime soon, eh."
Once I finished our meals, I took two juice boxes from a paper bag. I actually had bought two earlier in anticipation of Thea not bringing anything remotely resembling a drink. And I was right. She didn't even bring anything with her. As she silently placed her box back into her bag, I inserted a drinking straw into one juice box and brought it to her. I wanted her to drink straight from it. Why, you ask? It's just she's so cute that I want to feed her like one would a stray cat.
And it was as if she read my mind, she drank straight from my hands. I felt something warm and fluffy in me, like I was stuffed with the softest of cottons. 'She really resembles a stray kitten. Can I take her home with me? I'm sure mum wouldn't mind.'
She just focused on drinking her share. Half of her face was covered with her hair; the other half she tried to keep in place with her hands. Such small hands she had. It looked small because of the thinness and fragility of her fingers. I wondered if it's cold, too.
"You're both having fun, I see." It was Sylvee who approached us.
I looked at her yet at the same time, I could see in my peripheral vision that Thea-chan recoiled as if in terror. 'What am I going to do with you?'
"Yeah. What's up?"
"Hey, remember that we're both assigned later for cleaning? It turns out that I have practice too. And I'm just wondering if--"
I kind of got her drip so I finished her thought for her "you wanna ditch me?" I just love teasing her. She was a goody two shoes and she acted the part well, not hating on anyone and she didn't even talk down to anyone either.. On the scale of one to ten, she would probably be a saint. And I was not even kidding.
She laughed at me, indicating that all was chill with her. I wanted to have her patience. Seriously. Did she ever get angry? If she was a side character in someone else's story, I wanted her to have her own spin-off. And I'd just watch her calmly explain stuff as though she were a female version of Bob Ross.
"I'm not like that, you know?" she said while laughing off my remark.
"Yeah, I know. And hey, it's cool. You can make up for it next time. Besides, Thea-chan will be with me, too." I sensed that she almost jumped out of her skin. I got this weird feeling that she really did want to be a background character, not being seen by anyone. But there was a part of me that didn't want it to happen.
"Oh, really?" Sylv looked at her. Truth is, I thought she'd reply with a 'that's good then' but that response was not far from what this scenario brought.
But all Thea-chan did was look away; still scared of other people, I see.
Sylv just smiled. Imagine Jenna being in her position, she might have secretly smirked at the girl. I am not saying that she's a bad girl or anything; it's just wouldn't it be basic human emotion to at least look at that behavior with a smirk? Or at least with a bit of concern?
And just like that she left us alone again. I just realised that I made plans without even consulting Thea-chan first. I looked at her, who was focused on gently rubbing whatever was on her wrist; it was turning vividly red from all that scratching.
"Say."
She looked at me. Her almond-shaped eyes were as expressive as ever; they were a bit damp too, reminding me of a Disney princess. 'An introverted princess to boot'. If she ever thought of singing and dancing, would she command animals to dance with her? Lol, like that could ever happen.
"If it's okay, you could go later first. I'll take care of the cleaning duty."
Her eyeballs looked like they were swimming in their sockets. She blinked twice to moisturise her already moist eyes and I just noticed how long her eyelashes were. Could she get any more perfect? I don't know. She shook her head no. "It's okay…"
"W-well…" I just caught myself admiring her. I straightened my back to correct myself. Hope I wasn't exposed. "If that's really okay with you…" I was awkwardly laughing. At what? I didn't know. "...then can you at least help me with stuff later?"
She nodded yes. And that was all I needed to be reassured.
******
If there was another thing I found about Thea-chan that surprised me was how little she reacted to changes around her. I asked her about what she felt about the reshuffling of seating arrangements, hoping I could get some reaction only to be offered with 'I'm fine with it'. But I was ready to take her word for it.
Another Wednesday morning loomed like the summer sky and the whole class was in a fuzz because of the arrival of a new transfer student. It was a male student, and he was cute; not gonna lie. He stood before the whole class like a son of a dignified ambassador of sorts. Some of the girls in my class took a fancy on him, including Jenna. I mean, he was princely so I wouldn't blame them.
It turned out that the only people who were not interested were Thea-chan and Sylvee.My bespectacled friend looked away from the new student and focused on her desk as if it'd be of more interest to her. I could understand her, though. She would not talk to the guy in the first place and she knew it. I wondered what made me an exception. Was that incident upstairs enough to merit me a chance? She had her unwritten rules and I saw myself as an exemption. But the thought of being an exception to her rules made my tummy warm.
She was not bound by the troubles of daily life unlike most of my classmates. They fought, reconciled, forged stronger bonds or just let it rot to nothing but she did none of those things. I wondered if I could learn something from that kind of attitude...
And did I mention her hair was getting more kempt every passing day? I didn't mean that her hair was really unkempt to begin with. It's like it lacked style. I wondered what brought on the change.
Or was there any?
There probably wasn't anything, really. But I still needed to praise her for it. Besides, I felt more powerful when another girl compliments my looks than anyone else. Was I the only one like that? So I secretly set aside some positive words for her to be given during lunch break.
Now, back to the new guy. He turned out to be a son of some well-to-do people. But my assumption that he was the son of an ambassador was off-mark. And it's okay, Sofie; don't beat yourself over not getting it correctly. Though, okay... He was indeed handsome and charismatic. I watched him get along with my classmates during lunch break like he was born to ease his way through the cracks of socialisation.
I joined my classmates who went up to him for a chat. Being with Thea-chan made me see the stark contrast between our previously separate world. While mine was full of possibilities and promises, hers was full of certainties.
Or was I the only one seeing it that way?
After that small talk with him I was with Thea-chan again. We shared another silent lunch that I often felt comfortable in. But I chimed in with a "haven't you girl heard of making friends out there?" just for the fun of it. To gauge her basically. She just looked at me quizzically. Guess, that's my answer.
She was really taken to her introversion like a mother bird to her chicks.. Not that I mind, really. It's just that I was concerned for her. I thought of devising plans to make her friends with my friends and let's see how she'd possibly react to that. Only to dismiss it because of another hypothesis.
"Are you cool with eating lunch with Sylvee and the rest?"
She looked stunned as though she was hurt. "I shouldn't have said that! I shouldn't have said that! I shouldn't have said that!' Okay! Scratch that. That's exaggerated. But there was no way for me to describe how she reacted other than that. 'Girl, please. I'm doing this for your sake.'
Then, I remembered the Thea-chan on the rooftop landing. That scene left an indelible mark on me. I smiled at her. I felt like my smile was akin to a mother being forgiving to her child. "Okay. We'll do it at your pace."
She hid half of her face using her right-hand sleeve before looking away. I felt like she was about to say thank you with that face of hers. I waited but to no avail. Maybe I should also wait for her to be vocal and 'wait I shall at my own pace'.
Let me just lay down everything I had gathered from Sylvee: She was really a painfully anti-social girl who chose to stay quiet the whole day rather than socialise with her former classmates. She also had her fair share of absences due to health. It was so that it started to feel rather off for Sylvee to see this fluffy creature being present most of the time now. Did her health become better? I hope so.
She was unbothered by the changes around her. The seating arrangement, the new student… but a little change towards her bothered her to no end and transformed her into a panicking tomato. She did not want new people around her. Who cares about having new classmates? Just stay away from me… is what she'd probably say. That was weird and all, I know. But if you were a person like her, almost every stranger is a potential threat to you.
I laughed at comparing her to a tomato, my favourite fruit (I felt proud remembering that tomato is a fruit). 'No, Thea-chan… you are not the only smart student here.'
The last period was PE. And we all went to the basketball gym because our PE was… well, you guessed it, basketball.
That reminded me: I had not watched one of Sylvee's practices yet. That would be a great opportunity for me to see how she played basketball.
I looked at the door that faced the west; the afternoon sunlight was streaming through it, giving the place a rather gloomier ambience than you would expect. I wondered who would still enter it. Every now and then I checked on Thea-chan. We had been taught that distance is also a form of language and looking at where she stood relative to my position, you'd pick up something else. Because for someone who tried her best to be with me, she was never the clingy one. And as if to prove that, she just quietly savoured being there, not too far away from me. If I pointed that out, what reaction would I get?
She finally noticed that I was looking at her, which was really intentional to begin with. I gave her a cordial beam while her version of a smile was her expression loosening up. 'Seriously, how hard is it to do that, Thea-chan?' But that made me happy nonetheless.
Our teacher rounded us up, told us that we were gonna have dribbling and shooting drills so we'd learn the basics and also announced that we would have a practice game with the other section. Frankly, I didn't care about basketball. The only thing that I was excited about was Sylv playing; but it looked obvious that we were not gonna get it. Not until the practice game, that is.
That was the first time Thea-chan ever attended PE class as far as I could remember. Not that I could remember correctly if she ever had attended the first few meetings as we weren't friends back then yet. Her mum had told me that she didn't come to PE classes, the reason? She didn't tell me. And I was not planning to pry deeper than necessary just because.
I wonder: during the times we were absent, did she bask in the security the gym loft provided? I laughed inside. "What a lousy Adashima reference." Our gym loft wasn't even that big to shelter truants
Our teacher noticed Althea. She called the girl to her and talked to her in a tone so hushed that I couldn't even make out what they were talking about. All she did was either nod or shake her head to whatever our PE teacher was saying. And the awkward way she did it was so funny I couldn't hide it and laughed. Afterwards, she came back running to me with both of her hands held against her chest. She was really holding out this whole time.
"Anything up?" I asked when she resumed her place by my side.
She just nodded while her eyes were on the floor. 'My dear, my eyes are up here.'
"Lemme guess… she's checking up on you, no? Like if you could participate or not?"
She nodded. Bullseye!
"So you gonna participate?" you're already here after all. It'd be a waste of energy if you'd don your PE uniform just to chicken out right?
Her hand balled into a fist. I could smell determination coming from her and the way she looked ahead suggested that she's determined to see this through. I suddenly fought the urge to pat her. Would it come a time that she need not ask her mom to take her to school anymore? I could wait.
We started practicing shots. As expected, it was easy peasy lemon squeezy for Sylvee. She moved with grace and the way she carried herself was nothing short of mesmerising. I could look at her dribble for hours without getting tired of it. Now, I was regretting not watching her practice before. Was she breaking boys' hearts? If she hadn't, let's just wait for some time and we'd be bathing in boys' tears.
I cringed at my own imagination.
She walked towards me and gave me a high five.
"If I were a boy, I might've fallen in love with you," I joked.
She just laughed. "I want to see you do it," she said as she finger-combed her short hair.
It was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, and make a complete fool of myself in the process." I shifted my weight from one foot to another. "I mean, someone with that physique could slip her way into scoring against an enemy team that easily."
"Oh… Is it hard for a marshmallow to do that?" She was smiling like a good girl who caught you doing something bad.
A what? How dare you! In retaliation, I tried tickling her. "You're calling me a marshmallow? You're calling me a marshmallow?" We exploded into laughter so loud we almost fell on our butts.
"Sophia! Sylvia! If the two of you won't cut that out, I am going to send you back to your rooms." That was our teacher scolding us. We stiffened then fell silent lest we'd be scolded further. But the two of us held back to be honest.
"Althea, you're next." Our teacher announced.
There you go. I looked at my girl to bid her good luck but she never looked at me. All I noticed was the scowl she had on her face. She looked like she was sulking. "Thea?"
She might not be given to smiling, that girl. But you'd know a sulking expression when you see one, right? And she was wearing one right now; or at least it's what I saw on her face as she was running towards our teacher. But was she really sulking? Or was it just my imagination?
"Curiouser and curiouser, Thea-chan."
I watched her fail dribbling and shooting. Three bounces and the ball escaped the clasp of her hand; it bounced off somewhere rather clumsily while she ran after it like it owed her money. The shooting drills were a failure, too. I didn't know if it's her natural talent but she missed the ball successfully.
I wanted to laugh. I really did.She was so clumsy it almost looked comical. Not that I was one to laugh. But still. She was the incarnation of clumsiness.
"Hey, she's trying her best," Sylvee chided.
What startled me was not that she chided me but the tone she used to do so. "W-what?" It was unusual for her to use that. In fact, it was the first time she ever did.
"You wanted to laugh so bad, right? But she's obviously trying her best. And I don't like it when someone is being laughed at when they're obviously doing her best. I've known her for a long time now but this is the first time I saw her try so hard."
That… I felt my body grow cold despite the relatively warm temperature of the gym. And subsequently, that same chill travelled up to my nape and stayed there for a while. Sylv's words weighed on me like a cold anvil. I felt bad. Really bad. Because I knew that she was right.
I pursed my lips. Tightly. With that I locked my eyes on Thea-chan.
After she was done with her turn, she bashfully ran back to my side. She reminded me of a painfully shy kitten while she took the route with the least students back to me. I really liked that she saw me as a refuge to everything that bothered her. Well, yeah; calling it everything might be taking it too far but that's what I settled with.
Sylvee's words seared on my flesh; it would likely become permanent, leaving a scar. But instead of a nasty one, it'd be like a battlescar that I would wear for the rest of my life. I am good with taking lessons like that, mind you. And because of that, I felt this new kind of appreciation for my tall friend, adding to the already stacked one.
I looked at her for a while longer. That probably set her off. Look how bothered she looked! . And because of that, I patted her hair.
"Good job holding out there."
She blushed a little. You could already see the changes of colours on her skin. She was transparent like that. Well, at least emotionally. Despite the height difference, I felt like I was taller than she was. She might look flustered at first but she slightly lowered her head to give way to me.
I wanted to apologise , seriously. But do you think it's better that way?
"Didn't your hair bother you?" I asked assuming that she tried taking drills without even tying her hair. I couldn't begin to imagine the hassle she'd endured trying to focus her aim with her hair getting in the way.
She shook her head. I leaned forward and locked my gaze on her face. Some of her locks are covering it and I used my fingers to clear it off her face. I spied a blush. She was indeed a cloistered girl; we were the same age but I felt like I had more experience than her.
(In retrospect, I should not have said that I had more experience than this girl. Because clearly, I had not seen what she saw. Up until now, I still didn't understand the depth of her heart. Was I regretting it? No. Did I want to learn more? Yes.)
"Sit down." I had two bands tying my hair to a neat ponytail so I pulled one out.
Without saying anything, she sat down on the floor; then, I followed suit. I was about to tie her hair when I remembered I didn't have a comb with me. You can't expect me to just do it with my fingers, right? I looked around till I found Jenna holding a hairbrush.
"Hey, Jenna!" I called.
She looked at me. I asked for her comb which she let me borrow for a bit. I was aware that you just don't use someone else's hair brush but I had no choice. Better than brushing with your fingers, aight?
She quietly sat there like some kind of statue while I brushed her hair. I was kind of surprised to know that her hair was really soft. Guess she was thoroughly taken care of at home. That reminded me of her lunch box. And her mum. And her brother. She was living a quiet yet great life.
I didn't exactly know why I was comforted by it.
The last time I was at her house, the relative quietness and the faint scent of lemon left an impression on me. The only compelling force inside that house was her mum. Sure she is no different from mine in terms of disposition but the contrast she brought to that house was powerful.
What about her father, then? Where was he?
Mine was abroad, trying to make a living for us. I prodded him to go home many times because mum was earning enough for the two of us. But I digress.
I tied her hair into a neat pigtail. There were loose strands but I left it for the style. Now, she looked neater than before. And with the shape of her face being more pronounced, I couldn't help but admire it more.
"Wow, Althea, you've become prettier," I heard Sylvee remark.
"Right? Right?" I felt proud for some reason. My cheeks were stretched to a funny smile.
When I looked back at Thea-chan, I saw a girl sheepishly stroking her loose hair. I laughed. I could help but cup her cheeks with my hand and made her face me. I think that's the first time I ever did that and tell you what her cheeks felt like marshmallows. She turned red almost instantly. 'Is this the first time someone showed you affection outside your family? Tell you what, you're getting more of this.' I wanted to say that out loud but… I'd rather die than do that; and I was thankful it managed to keep the reins of my sanity because I didn't know how I would respond after that.
PE wrapped up without any fuss. After changing to our usual uniform we marched back to our classroom. That ended another day for us. While we traversed the covered pathway leading to the main building, I couldn't help but look at the trees lining the footpath. That reminded me of the first day of school. It was covered with cherry blossoms before; but now, it's just the green taking over. I felt like nothing changed. I was still the same stupid girl enjoying the view rather than focus on my destination.
I might be an airhead at times but that's just the kind of person I was.
I looked beside me only to see Thea looking straight ahead. Well, if something truly changed since then, it might be the fact that there was someone who chose me over the world to walk beside her. And that made all the difference.
***
If there was another thing I found about Thea-chan that surprised me was how truly affectionate she was. I mean, at first glance she might not look like it. Quiet, always on her phone, anti-social… Okay! Maybe calling her anti-social is taking it a bit too far. But when you are friends with someone like her, you couldn't help but compare her to your other friends. And I think that's natural. Right?
The school's musical ensemble had reached the national finals. I knew nothing of music and competitions to make sense of this affair. But despite that, here we were in the capital watching them go up against the finalists from the other district. I didn't go against my will. It's just I thought a change of pace wouldn't be that bad. So, days prior to the concert, I asked Thea-chan's Mum if she could come with me. She readily said yes with the sweetest smile on her face. (And again, that day, her big brother was not there.)
We took a school-commissioned bus to the capital.
I noticed that Thea-chan was a bit reluctant to take the seat next to me. So, I pulled her towards me and we took the same seating pair. I didn't understand why but from the way her eyes fluctuated to and fro, I could only guess that she didn't want to appear too clingy in her actions. I wouldn't mind it though. Her being clingy to me meant that I was special. Belatedly, when I was thinking about it on our ride to the capital, I felt my face burning in excitement. Being special is kinda intoxicating, you know.
I was seated by the window. When the bus finally entered the capital, it felt like we also got into a whole new realm altogether. I felt like everything was clad with a golden sparkle. My hometown was also a busy place with lots of things going on but you could never be too ready when you're coming into this place. Everything seemed taller and grander. And more sparkly.
I had to share it with Thea-chan, which was kinda funny because she was just there sitting next to me. I mean, we were both experiencing the same thing; what was all the fuss about? I wanted to share my excitement with her but what I found was a sleeping fluffy creature. Half of her face was covered by her hair. Her eyeglasses were hanging so slovenly that I thought it might fall from her face. Carefully, I fixed her glasses for her. And what do you know? She didn't even stir a bit. 'She sleeps like a baby.'
I woke her up once we arrived at our destination. Sadly, yes. There was the usual rounding up and telling us what to do.
So, basically, we were given the later half of the day for 'recreational purposes' as long as we returned before sundown. How generous of them. Of course, we could do that. We're good girls.
"Right, Thea-chan?"
Understandably, she just tilted her head to ask me why. 'Yeah, sorry about that.' No one can answer your monologue like that, Sophia!
And there we were, spending a few hours or so in being the audience for some event that I myself could not begin to describe. But there we were. To be honest, I wasn't expecting to enjoy the show at all but there I was, enjoying it nonetheless. I found that if you truly focus your ears to the sound, you'd hear subtleties. Not that I am a music lover or anything; it's just, the way the songs resounded in me felt like it was speaking to my soul, not my ears. It was loud, yes. But I loved it.
Then, I looked at Thea-chan who's sitting next to me. Next to her, Sylvee was sitting. I realised that I had been too hooked in watching the performance that I forgot to check on her. Well, I already knew she wasn't given to being looked after but I kinda developed a habit of turning around to see if she was keeping pace.
And what I saw was an expression she rarely wore around a lot of people. Heck, with me even. It was an expression of childlike amusement. Her eyes sparkled with the dancing of the light. Like the scintillating was given a life of its own in her eyes. She was dazzling in every sense of the word. And did I mention that she wore her hair in a ponytail today? I was able to see the entirety of her face. The redness on her cheeks was apparent despite the relative dimness of the concert hall. I was left with the impression that she also glowed in the dark.
There was a warmth in my tummy and it refused to go away. It's not that I wanted to, though. Guess, I was happy to see her happy, too. I involuntarily smiled as I looked back to the stage.
Our school's representatives played another song.
I did not remember a note from what they had played but the feeling stayed with me.
Lunch time came and we broke up into smaller groups. For some reason, Sylvee and Jenna could not come with us because some of their clubmates had invited them first. I didn't mind it to be honest. I was actually kinda worried that it might turn Thea-chan's mood sour.
"Now, that we're here. Where would you like to start?" I asked.
She said nothing. But the furrowing of her brows meant that she was thinking of an answer to my question. I didn't need to ask her in the first place to be honest. I had checked on the possible cafes and restaurants in the capital that could be deemed student-friendly. All I had to do was fish out my phone from my bookbag and double check my l--
"The Sky Tower." She curtly answered, derailing my train of thoughts. She was looking away from me. Up and away to be precise.
When I followed her line of vision, I saw a tall conical tower that loomed up above the buildings. It looked like a modified lighthouse: the Sky Tower, one of the most famous landmarks in the capital. From what I heard, it's an observatory, restaurant, cafe and merch Mecca all in one.
"Oh, yeah. That. Now that you mentioned it…" It was also a great place to buy GoBe merch. 'Wait! GoBe merch?' I looked back at her. I felt my face stretch to a stupid smile. "Ah, yes! You're right!" I grabbed her hand and pulled her along with me.
I was not able to see what her face looked like because of my own excitement. I could ditch the list for now and go with what she wanted. Why did I care so much? I didn't know. For a moment, I just made myself believe that liking the same thing made pulling her along with me easier. She wasn't complaining, that's for certain.
The Sky Tower is probably the tallest man-made structure in the capital, heck! Probably even the whole country. It featured a theatre at the base, various shops at the succeeding floors, and various observatories on the higher half portion.
And when you look at us, we looked like a peculiar duo; Thea-chan was the quiet force that only looked and probably collected information that she could send back to her planet so they could use it; their invasion would be swift and without mercy; and I was the balancing force, the calm and collected sagely energy to counter her rather stoic attitude. 'You're what?' I remembered Jenna reacting. Okay! I'll take it back. Geez!
At times I wondered if I was being annoying.
"No. You're cute that way," Jenna had said.
"That's you and I wouldn't have it any other way," Sylv had said with her signature good-natured smile. Why would you say it like that, Sylvia?
"No," Thea-chan had answered. And she refused to elaborate.
There were a sizable number of people on the ground floor. Considering that it was a weekday, they were probably employees on their day off. Some of our schoolmates arrived at the same decision as us.
When we entered the hall of the first floor, we were greeted by its vastness. The walls were made of glass which would make you think how this kind of structure supports a great building. 'They must be diamonds.' Come to think of it, there were giant beams of steel outside that framed the lower quarter of the tower. Maybe that helped.
We were on the fourth floor. The glass walls persisted like it was on the first floor but the view was slightly different now. In the first one, there was this feeling of being small. It probably came from the fact that that floor looks so gigantic that it could hold a circus or whatever. On this floor, I got no such sensation; the only thing that gave me an atmospheric feeling was the size of that monstrous hall. There were also a lot of shops there. So many that it'd take us probably days to try them all out ourselves. And I was also limited by my allowance. 'Mum, I demand a raise!'
There was an open balcony on that floor that allowed for the passage of flowing air. I said that because in some parts of the tower, air felt stagnant and artificial. That made me thankful for the naturally occurring oxygen that I felt deprived of. It's not really that bad. I just liked the feeling of being outdoors more.
The balcony was fenced with two layers of wire mesh. It was so high, too. 'Talk about security!' I wondered if someone were to just from this height, would he be successful in climbing that wire-mesh fence?
Enough of the nonsensical stuff.
I looked at Thea-chan. She was looking away, probably on the far azure of the horizon.
There, you could see the shore of the sea not too far away from where we were. Both Madeira, our hometown and the capital were by the sea. And that made me realise that I hadn't frequented the seaport towns long enough to get me acquainted with the whole town. Not that there were places for kids to go to.
The soft wind blew part of her hair that she was unable to tie and it danced to a rhythm that only it could hear. I pointed this out before: she was on the tall side; it probably ran in the family because her mum and big bro were tall people. But there were times that she looked smaller than she really was. That prompted me to grow a big sisterly affection towards her; not that I knew how that felt to be honest. But if this caring and protective feeling that started to bloom within me could be categorised as such, then I might really be cut out to be a big sister.
'How could you be a big sister if you're an airhead,' I would hear mum tell me later. I remembered pouting at her because of that.
I reached out and tucked the loose lock behind her ear. Mild surprise registered on her face. She looked at me. I just realised that this was one of the few times I could see her whole face.
"If you like, I could do your hair so you won't look like a jellyfish," I teased her.
A soft 'okay' went out of her lips. She does not seem bothered by my comparison. Well, she looked a lot like a Rough Collie pup with the temperament of a cat. Internally, I laughed at the simile.
She wasn't the clingy type, yes. I already pointed it out a number of times. But have you ever wondered how the two of us of two opposite polarities ever get to be friends? Guess we were bound to have one in this friendship. And you probably know who that is.
********
Big cities gave me the impression that sunset comes a bit earlier than in towns like ours. I stood in line while waiting for our class to get on the bus that'd take us home. While I idled away my time, I was looking at the beams of sunset streaming through the gaps of the tall skyscrapers. Its golden rays vanished somewhere.
I wondered when we would revisit this place. The capital was like a dream come true. Like an unexplored kingdom of possibilities. There were a lot of things here that were almost absent in my hometown.
Madeira was not a blackwater town. It's far from that. Go somewhere and you'd find busy streets. Decide to visit a place? You'd never run out of places to go to be honest.
But like I said, the capital was another thing.
I looked at Thea-chan who was just standing behind me.
It became her habit to stand behind me. Like I was being used as a shield or something. I liked it, though.
When she noticed that I was looking at her, she grew curious. You could just see it on her face. Her eyeglasses did nothing to hide it. But despite her astonishment, an aura of satisfaction lay there, like the base of a painting, all covered up but still made its presence known.
"Nothing," I answered an unspoken question. "Did you enjoy today?"
She nodded. And there was nothing in her aura that would make you think otherwise, either.
The line started to move as we got on the bus. So do end our day for fun here. I would surely miss this place. We were seated on the previous ones we had that morning for convenience sake.
As we were settled, I looked at Thea and noticed the loose expression on her face. It was relatively more loose, yes. I said that because normally, she had a guarded expression when she's surrounded by people. Like a kitten that has not gotten used to humans yet. She gave off that aura. I remembered Sylvee telling me that some of her classmates in grade school had called her a cat or a kitten; I am not sure which of those two but the association stayed with me. If that wasn't meant to be derogatory then I kind of agree with them.
I heard from an animal TV show that cats tend to be comfortable with one person. I felt a growing warmth in my tummy as I savoured the thought of her choosing me. And I felt my face glowing up. 'Now, it's my turn to be glowing in the dark.'
To be honest, I bask in the feeling of being important. That's probably why I love being surrounded with people and being somewhat the centre of attraction. If that was the reason why I gave the same attention to Thea, for her not to feel invalidated, I think that really was the case. Was it bad to use myself as a sort of reference in dealing with people? I made a sizable number of friends along my way so probably that was the case.
I didn't realise that Sylv was seated just behind me. She poked her head from behind and asked "so, have you gone to the shop that I told you about?"
I saw Thea-chan tensed up when Sylvee batted in.
"Nope. But we went to a better one." Now, I was wondering why Sylv and the others didn't mention the Tower even for once. 'They're probably too absorbed with their own plans.'
"Oh?" She asked where.
"The Sky Tower. You should have visited it. Phenomenal place."
She laughed. "Yeah. Team's too busy paying the Colosseum a visit." It was a famous venue for the biggest sports event in the country. It only felt natural that she'd be drawn to it, this Sylvee.
The engine of the bus mumbled to life. Our teacher also told us to sit still and we were on our merry way home. Not long after all the students boarded the bus, we rolled off.
All I could remember all the way home was the tall buildings and their petty attempt to hide the sun from us. It was quite successful at most parts because of the sheer monstrosity of the skyscrapers in the city. Its rays slipped through sporadically and every time it did, I was dazzled.
I could still feel the excitement in the bottom of my belly as if someone left glowing embers there. I wanted to dispel a portion of it somehow so I looked at my seatmate. I wanted to bother her. I needed the distraction; please forgive me. But before I could do that, I felt something on my left shoulder.
It was Thea who's using my shoulder as a pillow.
'She must've been so tired. Has she fallen asleep?'
Or so I thought.
I saw her eyes half-close and her iris looking to and fro as if in distress. And her face was a shade of red that I think was born from the colour of the late afternoon. I looked at her hands quietly sitting on her lap, it was balled into a fist. She had fought yet another battle it seemed.
I inclined my head towards and rested a fraction of my weight on her. I felt her jolt lightly. 'You thought I never noticed that, eh!' I wonder, did we look like the best of friends in that situation?
I was so taken to her more than I realised. Again, I don't know why.
Her hair smelled of mild citrus which was mind boggling because it was already the end of the day and she still smelled pleasant. 'Does she ever smell bad?' That reminded me of the scent of her house; though it was a different kind of citrusy smell, it felt light--the pervading aura of her home.
And did I already mention that she had this faint smell of bread upon her? I could not quite think of another object for comparison so let's settle with that. She had this sweet scent that reminded me of a bakeshop. It was comforting. You could only smell it if you're close enough to her, which I had the privilege to do.
Then under my breath I said "You did well today. Good job."
And at some point I think I fell asleep in that position.
********
What kind of excuse could I use to visit Thea-chan's place again? Someone like me who had an ulterior motive had to do something about it. If I recall correctly, it had been weeks since I visited her place.
Why would I visit? The image of her big brother flashed in my mind.
I felt a steam blow out of my cheeks as I thought about it. 'What a bad girl I have become; using a friend to see her crush.' I let my body fall on the sofa while I waste away the late morning being cooled down by the electric fan. The AC in my room had broken the other day and I couldn't do anything about it. Mum had said that she'd get it fixed but she kept on forgetting it.
Then, an idea bloomed in my mind like a summer time fireworks display. "What if I use that as a pretense to go there?"
"Go where?" It was Mum who just went in from hanging all the laundry.
I almost jumped out of my skin. That surprised me. "Mum! Please, don't do that!"
"Well, look at you. After finishing the chores, you just collapsed there like a limp wood."
What a simile! (I was proud that I remembered a lesson from our English class. Take that, Thea-chan!). "Can you blame me? It's really hot today."
"Summer's already here." She placed the empty laundry basket down and went straight to the kitchen. She came back with two ice cream bars and sat on the sofa next to me. She gave me one and opened hers. "I feel generous today so here you go."
'You're always like this, Mum.' But I chose not to say it aloud or I might get on her bad side today. I immediately tore off the plastic wrapper and dug in.
"Say, Mum…"
"Hmm?" She had this weird way of eating ice cream. That made me wonder: 'do I bite into mine the same way?'
I bit into mine and stopped shortly after. I was the same. 'Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.'
"Wait! Don't tell me you already have a boyfriend!" She pointed her ice cream bar at me. What got me was the tone of her voice. 'Accusing much?'
"No! And I'm not interested. What made you think of that?!" I felt my voice rise a few notes up and that made me quite sorry about it. But the brat in me refused to apologise.
She laughed my remark off.
"I know you're a good kid. But promise me one thing, okay?"
Her change of tone got me thinking. Where was she going with all of these? I just looked at her in probably the most quizzical manner I could ever muster.
"You'll get yourself a boyfriend once you step into high school."
I just looked at her like one would a computer screen that suddenly froze. Are all parents like this or it's an exclusive trait with mine? And where did this come from? Before I realised it, I, too, became the frozen computer screen.
"But make sure that I get to meet him, okay?"
She also said okay a lot which was kinda annoying at times.
The sun's rays still penetrated through the sliding door that led to our backyard. That told me I still had a lot of time to waste. I just wanted to tell mum if I could go out but here I was, being instigated to make a promise.
I felt the annoyance rise to my head like the imminent summer heat and I felt myself boil over. "Ah! Geez!" I bit a big chunk of the cold treat and stood up. "I won't do anything that would disappoint you, okay? So, just leave me be today."
She just looked at me like I was the frozen computer screen. That took me aback. It's the second time today that I raised my voice a few notes up. I felt my face heat up.
But just then, she laughed at me. This woman! What's wrong with her?
"You should have seen the look on your face." And she continued laughing which made me a bit madder.
Annoyed, I bit the remaining chunk of ice cream from the stick and walked out of that room. But before I stepped into the hall, I added "I'm just gonna throw it out" for safety measures.
But what I heard from mum before I stepped into the kitchen made me stop.
"Actually, I wouldn't mind if you dated another girl for that matter. Mama loves you that much." I could sense a smile on her face as she said that.
"What?" Now I was truly perplexed. Normally, you wouldn't say that to your kid, right? Right? I honestly didn't know. You always have this tendency to think that all of the parents out there acted the same way because yours acted so.
But the last bit she had said had me thinking, and eventually had me enraged there for a bit. "Ah, Jeez! Seriously?"
Never in my wildest dream would I date another girl. Wherever she got that delusion was someplace sick. And I didn't want to be there myself. "I'm straight, okay? I am damn straight!" Now, I just let it all out before throwing the saliva-coated stick into the garbage bin.
That's where I realised that we almost had the same speech pattern. Again, an apple doesn't fall far from the tree.