Sama Bitar

Um Hani, a 45 year-old from the Idlib countryside, recalls accompanying her son Hani's body to the cemetery.

"Perhaps one of the most painful things a mother can do is take part in the funeral of her own son," she said. "I wished I had died instead of him, or before him, when I saw his young body being buried under the soil. These are painful moments that dig deep into my heart, filling my lonely nights with grief and pain, a mother whose days have turned darker than a cold winter night."

Wiping her tears with a trembling hand, Um Hani said that in addition she knew nothing about the whereabouts of her second son Samer.

She has not heard anything since he was arrested on his way back from Idlib to the countryside at one of the checkpoints which were scattered around the area before the regime forces left.

"The pain prevents me from sleeping and burns my heart," she said. "Whenever I hear about a detainee being released from a regime prison, I rush at dawn to ask him what he knows about my son, who is not yet even 18. He was on his way to get a high school diploma before he was arrested. His education and our dreams of him getting high grades aren't important anymore. Now his safety and freedom are my biggest dream and I pray he comes back.

"I don't want to talk about the fear I feel at night that Bashar's regime may end his life and made him another of my martyrs," she continued. "Hope encourages me to pray for him."

Despite Um Hani's pain, she is still determined that the revolution must continue. She expects the regime violence to increase and fears losing another son. Um Hani has tried to prepare herself for this awful eventuality, but she said that not a drop of her son Hani's blood should be wasted.

"I miss the days when they were with me," she said. "The happiest moments were when Samer and his friends marched through the neighborhood loudly chanting songs in support of the revolution against this regime of barbarism and oppression. They used to call for the freedom of the detainees and for a decent life. My child became one of those detainees and it is now his friends' turn to cheer for him. How I miss his sweet voice."

Sama Bitar, 41, is from Idlib and has a high school diploma. She is married with four children and worked with charities for ten years.