(Misaki)
Drinking tea with Inari was two things: peaceful yet unnerving. Though she was not liked too well by the gods residing in Takamagahara, she was quite popular in the mortal realm. I felt her power pulsating from her every time I ran into her or met with her. I wanted my power to emit the same glow I saw surrounding her each day. Her foxes were always allowed into my large quarters to nap as Inari and I enjoyed the sake she snuck in from her best human vendor. Our cheeks were flushed red as we giggled and laughed about my struggles with cultivation. Inari was one of the few whom I could carelessly converse with about my trouble with Kusanagi and not feel completely worthless regarding it. Afterward when she would see that the alcohol was wearing off and my worries were returning, she would be quick to place a hand on my shoulder and reconcile me. She pushed me to continue through my frustration. She was a dear and cherished friend to me now.
Inari picked up her Yunomi and took a long sip of it before setting it quietly back down on the saucer. "My Kitsune have kept their ear to the ground… It seems your father is in good health and doing well, the country is thriving still beneath him."
Hearing those words from her brought tears to my eyes as my pride for my father and my country took ahold of me. It felt like forever since I had been home, and I found that the walls I used to constantly want out of were the ones I missed each night before I ended my days. A large part of me worried over my decision after I had initially made it. My father and I lost my mother. He lost her too early, and then I went and abandoned him in search of my dreams. I'd felt so selfish, leaving him with no heir.
Again, Inari had been the friend I needed and early each morning she sent her Kitsune to the earthly realms to listen in on the people. What would her father have told everyone when she no longer made appearances, or was mentioned? Apparently, Amaterasu had taken care of that and in her magnificent power, erased my name from the history of the family. As far as the country was concerned, the king and queen had no children. However, Ama left her fathers memory of her intact.
I looked to Inari and gave her a sincere grin. "Thank you, Inari. It warms me to know that he is well."
"Anything for you Misa," she grinned, dipping her neck low enough to pass as a bow.
"Now, this….Kusanagi. why is it do you think that I cannot yield the weapon?"
Inari worried her lip before answering. "Perhaps the great goddess is right in her assessment. Something within you is blocking your mana. Is there anything you left behind in the human world? Anything unfinished you may have forgotten about?"
Rain. The sound of heavy rainfall beat down all around me and I jumped to my feet.
"Misa what's wrong?"
Without answering her I ran to the enormous double doors and forced them open. My heart pounded hard in my chest as my eyes searched frantically for the culprit of the elusive yet obvious sound.
"Misaki? What is it?"
When Inari's hand touched my wrist, the sound of the rain ceased entirely. Dazed, I looked to her and shook my head in confusion. "It does not rain in Takamagahara."
(Chi)
The grass was worn here. The blades could only have been crushed by my feet seeing as I was the only one to frequent this narrow road around what the people called Hiroshima Castle. It rose higher than any of the other structures in the town and as I often stood and watched it, I wondered what it would be like to watch it fall and crumble to ruin.
A sharp sting struck the back of my eyes and I shook my head hard, my hand flying to my temple. My back landed against the bark of a tree and I fought the erratic rage as it came. This new pain that overrode my own was beginning to upset the voices more and more each time they chose to assault me. Many of my past nights were spent wandering this road and we could not understand why. Sometimes, something held me on that road, and carried me forward on it until the burning sun rose and I retreated to the darkness until nightfall.
The sun brought forth the endless screeching and screaming of the Muramasa, which often caused me pain. I stayed far from it.
'Chi-san…'
I spun in circles as I searched for the voice that I wanted to know.
'Chi-san…'
Again, the silhouette. It stood a distance from me, but I heard it speaking to me as if it were right before me. My urge to slay it dimmed only a fraction as it spoke again, its tone disapproving.
'Chi-san, you must remember your principles. What you stand for!'
I did not know what this strange shadow wanted or why it continued to pester me, but my anger was swelling and narrowing into a fine deadly point, directed solely at the unknown stranger whose face was nothing but a blur.
'you are needed Chi-san. You must wake up.'
The voices disapproving tone turned into one of anger as he yelled his last cryptic sentence at me before disappearing altogether.
'remain here…' were the last lightweight words said on the breeze before it returned to nothing but screams and agony. Laughing hysterically, I continued sliding my feet forward across the dirt path, doing just as the voice said, remaining here.
(Misaki)
Unfortunately, I was successful in causing Inari to be skittish due to my hallucinations. I scolded myself for scaring her, but something was wrong here. A part of me knew that there was something trying to make itself known to me and whatever it was, was important enough to disrupt my mind and my thoughts at any given point of the day. I walked the length of my quarters all through the late-night pondering over why I kept on hearing the rain. But as hard as I tried, I could not come to a logical conclusion for my sudden disruptions. It was driving me insane, not being able to harness the weapon I was told I was born for. I was disappointing Ama over and over.
I was making progress in every other field but this one. And no one within this realm could assist me. This was something I would have to resolve on my own.
But this rain….
Rain usually connoted sadness or rejection. Was it a sign that Ama would soon reject me if I continued to disappoint her? Could she just cast me out? Would I be able to return to a mortal life on the ground? I could no longer picture not seeing the glowing temples and homes of the high-ranking gods, or the clouds that parted and floated around us carrying sunlight. And Inari….
I could not picture my life without Inari at my side.
A thought crashed into the jumbled mess that was my thoughts and cleared them out like an angry sea. Even though Inari's kitsune had already confirmed that my father was in good health and happy, perhaps my guilt of leaving him had built a wall I could not see and that was why my magic was faulty right now. I needed to close that chapter of my life, to move forward through the next. I closed my eyes and quenched the sick feeling in my stomach. My ties to my father would need to be severed in every way…
It would be like I never existed at all.