It almost felt like my consciousness was floating in a space on nothing. I couldn't feel, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear I could only think. Would anyone even miss me? I doubted it since the only people I left behind were my adulterer boyfriend, sleazy best friend and parents who would never even notice I was gone. If it wasn't my brother, they didn't care so my missing presence would probably be perceived as a blessing. The only people I could see missing me were my patients. I could almost see their small faces, smiling and wishing me a good night the last time I saw them. Even though I had no body I felt crushed. If I could have I would have cried. A lot of the patients I deal with are terminal, and not being able to be there for them broke me mentally. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to scream and cry but I could only do it mentally a day curse at God.
Miss...
I stopped my mental screaming for a moment, convinced I heard a voice. I waited in the void, but only silence came.
"Hello?" I tried to reach out, desperate that someone was there.
Wake us miss...
It was faint but I was sure I heard something.
"Hello? Please answer me!" I cried out, feeling like I was being swallowed deeper and deeper into a thick void.
If you don't wake up, you'll make the Count angry...
The words were clear, and the voice was as sharp as steel. Suddenly I had the urge to not meet whoever had this voice. It was a woman, but she sounded as if she was ready to rip me apart. I then felt like I was free falling, light finally penetrating the darkness. I gasped loudly like fish out of water, out of breathe like I had been drowning. My lungs even felt full, like something was weighing them down. Tears fell down my face as I splayed my hands over my chest to feel my heart beating so fast my whole body was vibrating.
My heart is beating...
I couldn't help the tears that fell down my face and I helplessly sat there, feeling every breath being drawn through my awakening lungs. Light was blinding my eyes but I didn't care, I was alive. I tried to blink to clear my vision, but spots were still dancing across and blocking my vision. I was trying to listen out for a heart monitor, or regular hospital chatter but I heard neither. I heard wind running over rustling paper and through shoddy windows as if they were broken. I felt no pain at the moment, but I was afraid to move other than my deep breaths in fear that pain may strike if I did.
"Get up miss." A large and rough hand pushed aggressively against my arm. I tensed myself in preparation to scream from pain, but none came. It was at that moment my eyes cleared and I was met with a rickety wooden ceiling above me. My confusion could only last for a brief time before the rough hand yanked me again. I turned my head to yell at what I assumed to be a disgruntled nurse or cop, but instead I was bewildered to see a woman who looked like was complying as a maid. Not one of those maid cafe maids either, like a fully dressed iconic maid. Her greying inky hair was pulled back into hair so tight she looked like her skin was being stretched out over her skull. Her steely eyes stared daggers at me, and her black skirt reached all the way to the floor but she was tall
She towered over me, being almost six foot tall. I was speechless, my jaw going slack. She had a vice grip on my shoulder, snd she looked like she was going to bend me over and beat me over he knee.
"Get up now, miss." She hissed between gritted teeth. She yanked me up, and I realized that my back was sore. My eyes actually got to scan around the small room, filled with broken accessories and dozens of books strewn all over the floor. My confusion was quickly pulled away from the sharp pain in my wrist as she clamped her iron like hands around my dainty wrist and yanked.
Wait, dainty? I had small wrists, but my hands looked paler, smaller and thinner than I last remember.
"You should pray that the Count takes mercy on your tardiness." She smirked as if she told herself a funny joke. She pulled me out of the hard bed, and my feet hit the cold floor. The impact rolled up my spine, and I shivered. The woman towered over me, at least a foot taller than me. I knew I was about five foot four, but for this lady to be so tall she would have been six four. The furniture looked of average height for her, if not slightly larger but not being six foot four larger. She yanked me to the cracked vanity and the hard chair that accompanied it.
"Excuse me, but who are you?" I was freaked out and irradiated but her crude actions and the situation. The only reason my my could cope is if this was a dream, or this was a weird hospital that cosplayed. I wanted to lean towards dream. Even though this felt so real, I did not want to believe that a hospital would cosplay or treat their patients like this. A dream had to be the only answer. She rolled her eyes and shoved me roughly on to the chair. It stung, and I went to yell at her for her rough actions. Then my eyes met the mirror and I froze.
It wasn't me in that mirror.
"Miss Mercy, stop acting so childish. You're childish antics won't save you from your punishment." She yanked at my shoulders to keep me straight, but I was shell-shocked. My once medium oily black hair was replaced by long wavy sandy brown hair that ombre into pure white in the last few inches. My once reddened skin from rosacea was now white as snow and clear. My regular brown eyes were now large like a does and pale mint green, but slightly noticeable was my right eye as a touch lighter. I flinched as the knifes image flashed before my eyes. I started to cower and pushed against the vanity to steady myself as I started quaking. I looked like a pale ghost, a beautiful one at that. As I pushed myself up, I noticed how much lighter I was. Before I was a bit on the heavier side, just curvy with a bit of extra weight but I was happy. Now I was almost like a wisp and the contrast was strange. I was almost all skin and bones. This body was built like a slender violin and covered in a scratchy light grey nightgown. I momentarily got extremely upset. The one thing I always knew I was blessed with was a large bust and flattering hips. The hips I was fine with, but with my bust I would have been barely fit into a B cup at best. I felt devastated evern further, one of the few assets I loved about myself was gone forever.
No wait, this is a dream. I will be back to normal when I wake up.
My face flushed as the words rang in my head as a silent plea for me to wake up out of this nightmare. Everything had to be a nightmare, the cheating, the alleyway, and now. I probably was so drained from work I passed out on my couch when I got home and this was a lucid fever dream. Usually in my dreams I couldn't feel anything, and in this one I could feel pain, and the cold wetness from the rain. I could feel the hard chair beneath me, and my skin was itchy from the rough material of this night gown. I could feel the maid yanking hard at my hair, almost to the point of ripping it out. My eye watered, and I made a small hiss in pain. Before I could say anything, I received a sharp slap upside my head. I was stunned for a moment, the small stinging fading quickly. The maid had just slapped be for making a mere noise.
Oh this had better be a dream, otherwise I would be throwing hands right now. My mind was racing with angry and confused thoughts. I was already emotionally charged from the first part of my dream, that I was barely holding my shit together. But something was telling me to stay quiet, and bear with it. I always had a good intuition-- except for cheating and location choice in this dream apparently-- and my instincts were screaming at me to stay silent.
"It is rude to me that noise, Miss." The maids voice was colder than ice and sharper than steel. There was almost a sadistic tone to it, as if she was enjoying everything she was doing. She pulled at my hair harder, and this time I grit my teeth.
This is wrong, this is all wrong. It was all I could think. My mind rationalizing itself slowly began to crumble with each strand of hair she yanked as she ran a comb through my silky hair. She didn't do anything to it to style it, just brushed it and called it a day.
"Hurry up and get dressed, Count Roswell is waiting." Shd ripped the closet door open, just showing about a dozen worn down dresses. I flinched at the name. Roswell, I had heard that name somewhere. She yanked out a dusty blue simple long sleeve gown and slip with a ratty corset.
"Roswell?" It was one word but the maids head snapped up quickly as if I had just cussed her out.
"That name should never leave your filthy lips, you little whore." She spat at me with fire in her eyes, like she wanted to rip my head off. Before I could even say anything, she stormed over to me and yanked at the nightgown I was wearing until she wrestled it over my head. I tried to fight back from embarrassment, covering my bare skin but she was already getting the slip and corset ready.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I couldn't help but scream at her as tears beaded at my eyes. I tried to turn away from her as she grumbled a angry response and turned back to the mirror. I almost froze at what I saw. This fragile body I was in was covered in marks and faint lines from scars. They were almost strategically placed, running down my arms but missing my shoulders and collar bone. They were around my stomach and running down my legs, and as I turned I could see my back was just littered with them. Some were dark and had obviously been deep-- mostly on my back as if I had been flogged. Most were like faint lines that shimmered in the light but were still visible. I even had some bruises and marks on my back. I thought it was sore from the hard bed, but it seemed to be from the black and purple bruises dotting my back like a constellation. They looked old, like they were almost healed. The maid just yanked me back to reality by throwing the clothes on me, and tightening the hard corset until it was hard to breathe.
"We need to hurry." She snarled again, pulling the back of the old dress closed in only a few seconds like a professional. Her fingers moved so quickly I could barely see them. Things were starting to fall into place, and I began to feel a bit numb. Something was telling me to do what she said, and somehow I would find out the truth. I was shaking violently as I stood, but I steeled myself. Whatever the truth may be, if I was in a nightmare or perhaps in a coma I the hospital I felt like I would find my answer if I did what I was told.