The Past.
8.
A few months ago.
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Eventually, the group chat was on the verge of being a dead group chat. So I created an alternate account. I never used it though.
The time went by. I started developing feelings for Erin. she was a nice girl and I also wanted to make her my very first girlfriend and wife.
I was distracted from my studies. I started sending hours talking with her. We both did. She used to take out some time out of her busy schedule. We talked till midnight, late nights.
The time difference between our cities was one and a half hours. So that was not much of a problem. Eventually, she asked me about my first crush. I did tell her about my first crush. I asked her about hers.
I started developing hate towards that guy. She never told his name while I told my crush's name. She kept it classified.
I used to be very happy. I started that group chat because I was bored but now this led me here, towards her. We spent hours talking in our private messaging.
It was the best time of my life, I used to think back then. She told me that she was bullied when she was younger. She had a terrible childhood.
She never said what childhood was like. I asked her but she used to reply 'Let's not talk about that. I don't want to talk about that topic.' and ended the conversation.
While I spent my time with her I was on the other hand failing my grade school. My sleeping time was messed up. I used to sleep before Ten fifteen PM but now I didn't sleep before one AM.
That time… we had our first voice call. Not me and Erin but some other people from the group chat.
Some days after, again we joined the call. This time only me, Nee, and Erin. I heard Erin's voice for the first time. It was not what I had expected.
She had a strong voice and a little low-pitched. I imagined her to have a feminine voice.
I spoke too. Nee sang us few songs then she left the call. It was me and Erin only this time.
There was dead awkward silence for few seconds. We then talked about some kinds of stuff.
Nee joined again. She said, "Oh Sorry am I disturbing something?"
"Yes, yes you are," I said
"Woah!" Erin exclaimed, "No Nee you are not. Come on Ryan, why so rude?"
She sang us few more songs and then went to sleep. Now we again.
She said she got to go. She left, I left.
The next day she said that her sister heard me over the call as Erin was not using earphones. Erin told me that her sister said that she liked my accent.
Erin asked me how was her voice. I said 'Sing me a song then I'll tell you how you sound.'
This time we joined private voice calls. Me and her. She sang me a song 'Thousand years.'
I had never heard of that song but I was grinning as she sang for me. After that, we spent time talking to each other till it was a late night.
One time we were hanging out on the group chat when things got different. I used my alternate account to talk there.
I multitasked over there. My original account and my alternate too. The topics went from normal ones to 'I have tiny boobs' to 'Online dating.'
I went over to my alternate and gave my original account a long speech of to never fall for any girl online. Which was directed at Erin as I came to know she was from a different religion.
I asked Lia, "What do you mean?"
"Stay away from Erin. that's it. Erin stays away from Ryan." Erin lost her mind. She was angry and left the chat. Went offline.
I started acting differently after that long speech. I wanted to pull myself away from this girl and wanted to focus on my carrier.
"What is wrong with you Ryan?" she asked in the group chat. I didn't reply and started spamming messages.
"You wanna know what is wrong with him? Come I'll tell you." I texted using Lia.
Lia and Erin went to private conversations. There I told her that Ryan likes you etc. she believed it.
Some time ago, when I was wondering if Erin likes me or not. Lia asked Nee. Nee sent Lia some screenshots of Erin's and her private messaging.
Erin did say that she is not interested in this thing. They even called me creepy kid. She came to know I was hitting on her.
Days passed by as we continued talking. It was January now. Erin told me that Lia shared the private message screenshot and that she knows I like her. I acted dumb.
It changed nothing between us. We continued talking like we used to until one day when I ignored her for some reason.
She went to Lia asking why I was not texting and what to do. I advised her to flirt. Then asked why does she want to talk with me and why does she want my attention. Here was her answer:
"Okay Lia, seems like you wanted to hear it for a long time. I like him too for crying out loud. Damn it."
I was so fucking happy after reading that. I bounced in my chair.
She told Lia that if I came there for her, her father would kill me (Not literally) her brothers. Not a big fan of love marriages.
So she thought that she should have just ignored me from the start and should have not made me fall for her as I did. We went too deep in this shit, talking for hours, voice talks.
And after she knew that I am so deep in love with her, gonna come to her house and ask her father for her hand this was her thoughts:
Ewrites: All I have to blame for is myself now. Knowing all this shit going on in my life, I must have given him a cold shoulder from the start.
Well, I did thank her for not doing so, told her not to blame herself.
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End of the flashback.
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