I remember the day I met Takan... Itsuki as clear as it was yesterday. I was called by Haruka-sensei in the music room after school. The first question I had was why the music room? She does not teach music to anyone. Regardless I started walking to the music room.
As I opened the door I spotted a familiar boy sitting near the window on the spring day. Cool wind were blowing making his black hair dance around. He was looking out with the same expression he had as always. His name was Takan Itsuki from my class. I greeted him as I took a chair. Sensei took a lot of time to come so there was complete silence in the so called music room. I call it so called as we have a room but the music club does not use it.
The boy sitting in front of me known as the "ice boy" due to his behavior reached for his bag as he took out a book and started reading it. I started staring at the book trying to see its title but couldn't see it from this angle.
"It's called "Hundred years of solitude"."
"Huh?"
"You were trying to find the name of the book right? I told as I am not very good with a person staring at my direction."
"But people stare at you all the time."
"But that time I cannot pin point out someone. To me they are just a crowd."
That was kind of... What should I say? Rude? No. But if I think about it this is the most he has ever talked to someone. I saw people all approaching him and then going back after hearing one sentence from his mouth. My friend approached him asking if he wanted to exchange number and he replied,
"I don't need a number of someone unnecessary."
That was pretty rude. And so was the birth of the "ice boy". Sad for Takana-kun. I always wondered why he was alone in the class and not talk to anyone? I made up my mind and ask him.
"Can I ask something?"
He stayed silent.
"Why are you always alone?"
"Does it matter to you if I am alone or not? I am just a nobody to you."
This is it. This is the ultimate skill that made him the "ice boy". I never expected him to reply in this way. Well, kind of but never with this wording. To be honest I am just curious why is he always like that and why is sensei taking so long?
Ahh Mou. I am alone in this room with the "ice boy". I will die of boredom. It's not like I did not want to talk to him or I hate him or think he is boring. On the flip side I really wanted to talk to him but I did not want to be that one person who really tries to get into your conversation for no reason. I hated those kind of people so I did not want to become that way.
In the end sensei never came. The bell ring as he closed the book and stood up. He walked near the door and stopped. Turning his head towards me he said,
"You planning to stay here forever? I have to lock the door and go home."
I stood up while being a little uncomfortable. I don't know why? Was it the way his eyes looked like? They were completely lonely as if he has lost something really important recently. Those eyes were lonely and sad. Seeing those really made my heart ache.
"What happened to him?"
I unintentionally said it out loud. He saw me panicking and decided to not say anything. He just quietly stared at me the entire time as I walked out of the room. This encounter with the boy about whom really less or nothing is known about was really one of the strangest encounters. Not in a bad way.
The next day I found sensei and asked her why she never came. She said with a smile,
"I never said I will come. I just told you to go to the music room. My work is done now."
She parted me with those words as she walked away. What work? What is she talking about? It does not make any sense. I saw sensei talking to him and I was completely surprised by what I saw. I saw him talking to sensei with a look happier than he usually had. Now that I think about it. It's been two months as we joined the school and I did not see him talking to anyone this way. Also I never saw him smiling.
Curiosity is the driving force for us humans. We end up doing something really big or something really stupid because of our curiosity. Yes, I think things like this sometimes. That's a part of me no one has ever seen and I do not want to show it to anyone.
During the entire day I kept looking at or thinking about him. His behavior has peeked my curiosity. Someone who acts like this is not a bad or unsociable person. What makes a person like this are his or her circumstances. What were his? Also the book he was reading. "Hundred years of solitude". Does that book he was reading was read for a purpose of mere entertainment or some other reason?
Think about it logically. If you see a loner reading a book of this title what will you think? My train of thought were not so different. I decided to tail him. Just felt like it. I made sure not to be found and hid my presence. He took a turn as I followed finding that he was looking at my direction as I turned.
"Wow, another one."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Leave that. Why are you following me?"
"I am not. I was going to the convenience store."
"There is one right in front of the school of the same chain."
He got me there. Looks like there is no other way.
"Yes, I was following you."
"I know that. I want your reason."
Cold words just come out of his mouth like a river. His eyes were piercing through me. I gulped at the sight and decided not to make him annoyed but how do I do that? Is there a way he cannot be annoyed while talking to someone? As I was thinking that he started walking away. I did not know what to do? I called out his name,
"Takana-kun..."
He looks at me. Heh! What should I say now? Nothing came to my mind. What to do? I started panicking. Never in my life hade I ever panicked this much when talking to someone. Last time was when I was in front of my mother asking me if I broke the vase she really liked. Seeing me panic he sighed and walked towards me. W-W-What is he going to do? I had no idea. He just quietly walked towards me and said calmly.
"You don't have to try so hard. It's alright. There is no need to hide your true self."
Those words resonated in my mind. Those were his parting words as I came back to my sense he was nowhere to be seen. How did he know that? Was I being too obvious? Is it alright to be myself after the image I have created of me?
His words stayed in my mind the entire time. It was as if these words have impacted me greatly. I decided just once I will be myself. It's ok right? Wait, why am I following what he said? Why am I doing it? I had no idea. All I knew was I will do it. Not for anyone else, not because Takana-kun said, but for me because I want to.
I entered the class as my usual self. That is also part of me. People started talking to me as always and Takana-kun was sitting in his seat reading a book. Okay, it's time for it. I started talking the way I used to...
Everyone was surprised listening to me. While the girls were looking me with admiration, the boy were looking confused. They always thought I was a dumb girl who is really good at conversation with other. Obviously they will be confused. I looked at Takana-kun for a moment and saw him chuckling to himself. I tried to know who and what he was and he found the person I actually was. I no more need to wear that mask right?
Many boys came to me asking if I was alright or have a fever. I answered them with the best of my capabilities but there was one question I could not answer properly.
"Why now?"
I was completely silent. Why now? I could have been like this from the start. So why now? Was it because of what Takana-kun said? Right? It was because of him, I know that. Now the question rises why did he chose to do that? I would gain nothing from him. If anything he would know now I will be bothering him more. So why did he do that?
It's crazy right? This word "why", it can a question to everything. You can use it after any sentence as a reply and it will still make sense. If you say, "I went with my friends to school tomorrow," a question "why" can make sense in any situation. I know that example was a bit weird but can't help it. I am really bad at giving examples for an explanation. The school was over and I rushed as I watch Takana-kun leave.
"Stop," I shouted. He did stop and did not turn around. He started walking slowly as if telling me to follow him. I followed him to the back of the building where he was standing. This is a rare situation I am in. Need to take full advantage of it.
"So what is it?"
"Umm... How did you know about me?"
"Your behavior. It seemed forced, also the eyes. People say they are the gate to the soul. Your eyes were restless, always trying to do something or the other out of the usual. Only a person who is hiding their true self have those eyes."
So it was not that obvious. Wait he noticed all that in just so less time?
"But why did you help?"
"I didn't help you. You did yourself. I just gave you a little push."
Saying that he started walking away. Unable to think anything he shouted,
"My name is Sato Yui from your class. Remember that."
As I said that he replied,
"Takana Itsuki, same class."
That is how I met Itsuki. I looked at Ine-chan's face. She looked as if she was about to cry? No, it was an expression I have never seen on her face. She still had questions but I did not want to answer those. Itsuki sitting beside her with arms crossed nodding.
"That was about it."
He stands up as the bell rings. We followed him outside and he locks the door. While we were going home Ine-chan offered that we should stop by the café as it was our last day before summer break. A little reluctant, Itsuki also agreed to it. I slowed down a little in whispered in Itsuki's ear.
"Hey, did you tell her everything about your past?"
"What do you think?"
"You never change do you?"
"Maybe."
Looks like he has not told her about the incident. Did I forgot to mention? I was from the same hometown as Itsuki. I came here because the educational facilities here were a lot better. Itsuki and I used to attend different schools. I did know about that incident. That day, that time, that place. I knew about it all. I also knew Itsuki was part of it so it was not a good idea to press that incident.
I realized that when I heard his complete name. The boy who came back alone "Takana Itsuki". It was a mystery about him. I stopped interacting with him because the burden of knowing something and not telling about it was too big. I remember what I said that time,
"I don't want to be with a person like you. The boy who came back alone."
Hearing those words I properly remember his expression. He had none. His face turned expression less. Those eyes which longed for someone to save them were betrayed. I still feel guilty about that. Itsuki gently patted my head as if he knew what was going on in my head. He said with a gentle smile,
"I forgot about that long ago. No need to feel guilty."
I couldn't help it. Tears started welling up in my eyes as I looked at him. Before they could come out he wiped them off before they could fall.
"When Ine cried it was really bothersome. Please do not do that to me Yui. I just want to live life peacefully."
I know what happened cannot be changed so I don't want to make any more mistakes from now on. I never once thought how it was for Itsuki when I said those words to him. He came here to escape those words, those emotions, those feelings and those memories. I made him remember that back then but I will make sure not to do that anymore. That is my promise to him.
We entered the café and took our drinks and sat on some empty seats. All the boys were eyeing Itsuki as we were chatting. We made you the center of attention Itsuki. You should be grateful, no we should be sorry. He hates those things. A run down to his middle school as my neighbor used to go to his school. He was really popular and was really well known for be good in both academics and physical areas. I heard he was got first in the national level mock exam or something like that. Long story short he was the complete opposite in his behavior during middle school. Here I could only see a speck of how he used to be.
"So, Itsuki what are you going to be doing during the summer holidays?" asked Ine-chan.
"No idea. Maybe I will be lazy for real and not get out of the bed. My summer schedule is in Asuka's hands. She does what she wants and I just go along with that."
"Huh? So that means we have to ask for Asuka-chan if you are free to hang out or not."
"I think that's true."
Like that our talks went on. Seeing Itsuki right now, I felt happy. Someone who I once lost have come back. It was a magnificent feeling. I hope these days go on peacefully like this.