I woke up to thunder and lightning accompanied by a cold breeze coming from the outside my window. I am afraid of lightning and thunder because it was scary for an eight year old kid like me. I could do nothing but to cover my whole body with a blanket trembling and crying, because in this case my father would come to my room to calm me down in this kind of situation. Even if i wanted to go out and visit my parents, i am led by fear and crying due to thunder and lightning. I was only like this for a few hours until the rain and lightning stopped. I heard a noise coming from our living room so idecided to go down and see if that was my father who had just returned form work and came home late again.
"daddy? Ikaw na po bayan? Where's my pasalubong po?" I said while wlaking from our grand staircase. Wala akong narinig na sagot kaya napagpasyahan kong magpatuloy bumaba at doon nakita ko ang daddy na nakahiga sa sahig padapa. Akala ko ay umuwi siyang lasing kaya kaya siya sa sahig na lamang nakatulog but i was wrong, so wrong. When i go close to my father i tapped him so that he would wake up and he did not dissapoint me because he raised his head to me and smiled bitterly
"I'm sorry my princess. I really am sorry. I apologized if i did not fullfill my promise that i will stay by your side,until you are ayoung woman to have a husband walk down the aisle and having your children. Please forgive me for the sin i did to you, to your brother as well as to your mommy. You take care of your brother and don't leave him whatever might happens. i love you so much princess, i r-r-really a-a-am".
Matapos niyang sabihin sa akin ang mga salitang yan ay siyang unti unting pagbaba ng kaniyang ulo at doon ko nasaksihan ang pagkawala ng kaniyang hininga. Doon ko din nakita ang dugong umaagos sa kaniyang tagiliran at marahil sa tama ng bala dahil may baril na nakatabi si daddy sa kaniyang tagiliran.
"D-daddy! D-don't leave us please!! W-w-wake u-up d-d-daddy". Tanging tunog ng aking pagiyak at paghihinagpis ang maririnig sa buong kabahayan at doon ko nasulyapan ang aking inang tahimik na umiiyak sa isang sulok habang walang anumang emosyong mababakas sa kaniyang asulang mga mata.
"Mm-mommy, s-si d-daddy". Tawag ko sa aking ina ngunit, siya ay wala ding nagawa marahil sa sanhi ng pagkagulat ng makita ang nangyari sa aking ama.
Months passed after my dad died siya namang pagaalsabalutan ng aking ina.
"Mom? Where are you going?" tanong ko sa aking inang nagmamadaling magimpake ng kaniyang mga damit. Ngunit para siyang bingi at walang naririnig na umalis ng kaniyang kwarto at tuluyang bumaba hanggang sa malapit na siya sa pintuan ay pinigilan ko na siya
"Mommy? Where are you going? Your leaving?" tanong ko sa aking tonong mababakasan mo ng pagkatakot, lungkot at pagkadismaya.
"I'm sorry pero hindi ko na kayang manatili pa dito. Nandiyan ang tiyahin mo at siya na lamang ang bahalang magalaga sa inyo ng kapatid mo. One more thing. Wag mo na akong hahanapin pa and please, be strong sana mapatawad mo si mommy." Sabi niya at pagkatapos, tinalikuran na niya ako at umalis ng bahay na wala manlang akong nagawa. Dito sumiklab ang aking galit sa aking ina na pagkatapos mamatay ng daddy ay siyang pagiwan niya sa amin ng aking kapatid. Really? I was just 12 years old and i was gfoing to raise my brother alone? Although my auntie was here to guide us but still, it is not enough.
"Ate? Where's mama?" tanong ng aking kapatid na nasa edad na pitong taong gulang pa lamang. Para akong nawalan ng boses at hindi alam ang gagawin ngunit kailanman ay hindi ako tinuruan ng daddy na magsinungaling.
"Mommy left us sean. But don't worry, ate will do anything to love you and to raise you alone. I will never leave you. Tayong dalawa nalang ang magkasama okay? So behave and let's face together the life without parents okay? " i said to my brother while tapping his back comfortly.
" Yes ate i will, i promise" sagot sa akin ng aking kapatid na humihikbi dala marahil ng kaniyang lungkot sa nalaman.
I promised to myself na aalagaan ko ang aking kapatid at hindi pababayaan. Siya na alamng ang iintindihin ko at wala ng iba. At kung tatanungin nyo ang mama? I don't have mom. We don't have. Magmula ng iwan niya kami ng kapatid ko. And that was the first painful memory of my childhood days.