The Running back was next, so he wisely let his agent do the talking.
"Mister Cosmonaut, my client is willing to acknowledge your claim as captain without the need for a spar. In exchange, we request you help us with a little experiment/promotional video."
"Is that one of those advertisements you Americans are so fond of? Sure, let's do it! Since you aren't paying me, though, make sure to keep me out of frame."
Everyone on the plateau shifted their positions. On one end, by himself, was the Running back. On the other end was everybody else, including Comrade Cosmonaut.
"So, what is the experiment," he asked the agent next to him.
"It's very simple, mister Cosmonaut. We want to test the extent of my client's "Untackleable" trait, and who better to help than the world's strongest hero?"
"K, so start slow and work our way up?"
"Exactly! Have you done advertisements before?"
"Aye, a pizza shack ad with uncle Gorbachev. It bored me to tears, so hopefully this one proves more fun."
"Okay! Cameras are rolling! Action!"
Cosmonaut's arm glowed green, and he casually waved it in front of him. The speed he used in doing so generated a strong gust of wind, which was now heading straight towards the Running back.
The football hero, at this point, was slowly walking towards the other end of the plateau. When the wind reached him, a strange thing occurred; The wind that would provide air resistance, should it hit him, swerved around the hero at the last second.
"We've tried this and bullets both," the agent told Cosmonaut. "They were considered attempts to tackle him, and automatically blocked."
"What if someone just tries to kill him? Instead of stopping his movement?"
"Such experiments were too risky, so I advised my client against performing them... Can you guarantee his safety, if I let you try?"
Cosmonaut turned to the man under the umbrella who, like everyone else not currently fighting, was furiously taking notes. He stopped briefly to give a nod, which was all the hero needed.
"Yup! Let's do it!"
He held his glowing arm aloft, and the green stored inside it shot out at high speed. The beam reached Running back in the next second but, just like the wind, it changed directions instead of hitting him.
"Mommy, this looks fun! I want to play too!"
"Ask the man with the big phone, first."
"Mister," he asked while tugging at the man's pant leg, "can I play too?"
The agent shuddered upon seeing this faceless boy, but his professionalism won over fear.
"Sure! The more the merrier!"
"YAY!"
The faceless boy raised one arm, and a series of red bubbles appeared in Running back's path. He attempted to juke the first bubble, only for it to explode as he did so.
POP!
A red energy radiated from the explosion, burning the dried guano on the ground black. Despite this power, however, Running back remained unaffected. Just like the radioactive beam, any red energy approaching him abruptly changed directions.
Cosmonaut laughed, patting the sulking android's shoulder.
"That's a good one, kid! Let's try together, this time."
The faceless boy nodded, and moved the bubbles so they surrounded Running back. Cosmonaut then fired another beam, this time directly at the bubbles
BOOM!
The mix of energy caused a tremendous explosion, forming a deep crater in the plateau. Silence dominated the people here, until the sound of rustling could be heard. Climbing out of the hole was Running back, a big smile on his face.
"Well, you didn't tackle me! But, since I can't run so good in a hole, so let's call this a tie. How was the footage, Mark?"
"Excellent," the agent replied.
"Good, good! I have a conference to get ready for, so i'll take my leave now. Farewell, Captain Cosmonaut."
Five minutes later, the expensive yacht could be seen disappearing over the horizon.
"Now that was fun, wasn't it," Cosmonaut said to the faceless boy.
"You must be tuckered out, little one. As captain, I order you to take a midday nap!"
"Tehehe, yes sir!"
"Woah! Wait! Hold on a second!"
The men in black surged forward, trying to interrupt the faceless boy's comment at all costs.
"Oh, what? You want me to fight a kid? Is that what these interruptions are about?"
"He is a member of the All Star League, same as everyone else. He deserves a chance!"
"Oh, fine! But I am not hitting a kid. Have him give me his best attack; if I can block it, I win. Sound fair?"
The men in black suits were about to argue more, but mother's voice stopped that.
"Why don't you let Bubbles decide! Especially since you ruined his first day of church..."
"It's okay, Mommy. I'll show the trick, if it means we can still be a family."
"Dah, such a cutie. Okay, now show that space man who's boss!"
"Yes, Mommy!"
At the direction of the faceless boy, Comrade cosmonaut flew several miles into the sky.
"Is this good," he asked through a walkie talkie in the submarine commander's hand.
"Yes, mister! Thanks!"
The boy waved at him, causing a superdome sized force-field to surround the Cosmonaut.
"Good boy, safety first," his mother encouraged him.
The boy did not answer, however, as a crease had already appeared on the front of his featureless head. It opened to reveal an eager, blood red eye.
"Target locked... Initiating attack," the boy said in a robotic tone.
99 blood red bubbles appeared above the dome in the sky, letting themselves inside one at a time.
"Ha ha ha, this'll be a big one," Comrade Cosmonaut remarked, not making an attempt to dodge.
POP!
The last bubble exploded, setting off a massive chain reaction. To those down on the fishing trawler, and indeed the entire hemisphere, it looked as if a red sun had suddenly appeared in the sky. For those at the top of the plateau, the temperature instantly rose by several degrees. Clouds parted, passing birds fell out of the air, dead; it was an intense scene.
Not to be outdone, Comrade Cosmonaut finally made his move. A green comet tail appeared below the red sun, pushing it higher and higher in the sky. Eventually, it reached space, and the protective bubble surrounding the massive explosion finally popped.
The boy, once again faceless, exclaimed in joy.
"Mommy, he's tough! I want to practice with him more!"
"That's enough for today, honey. We still need to get back, or else we'll miss afternoon mass."
"Okay..."
The leader of the men in black approached the submarine commander.
"It looks like you all win this one. I'll report back now, so we can get things finalized on our end."
"Perfect, we look forward to increased cooperation in these trying times."
AHEM!
Everyone, Comrade Cosmonaut included, turned to see the John.
"Buddy, you came for bowling! Oh, I forgot the helicopter..."