Obviously, Yana couldn't trust the guy. With the knife's tip boring into his neck, Yana walked after him, "Don't play any tricks. I die, you die with me."
Yana tried hard to suppress the pain in her voice and fatigue. She was about to collapse, every fibre of her body screamed to be released. The bruised parts of her body were raking with soreness, the blood relentlessly dripped out of the wound and made her leg sticky.
Her head rang and her veins felt like they wanted to explode.
Yet all this pain needed to be suppressed. Something this small shouldn't faze Yana, shouldn't worry her, instead, she should worry about her trembling hands.
It was so easy for her to drag the knife across the flesh and have blood splatter everywhere and not think a single thing. A human's life was this fleeting and Yana has tasted for the first time what it meant to become a monster. Yet did Yana regret it?
No, she did what she had to do at the moment. She wanted to survive, thus she acted accordingly. No excuses should be made and no regret should cloud her mind. With this, Yana steadfastly gripped the knife and stopped trembling.
"We-We're here," the man said and Yana indeed saw a large door. Yana wanted to kill this man to get rid of him but he seemed to sense her attempt and instantly ran out. From the open door, daylight flooded into this cursed and dark place. Yana dragged her bruised body to the door and saw the sun merciless shining down on her.
Leaning against the door, she fell to the ground. Short-breathed, panting, Yana reached for the phone and made a call while ripping another piece of cloth off to replace her bandage.
Beep Beep Beep.
The phone was ringing. For a few minutes all that was heard was Yana's heavy breathing then click-
"Yana?" Roy's voice sounded crisp in Yana's head.
Her headache intensified but with a weak voice, Yana answered.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't do anything…"
On the other side, it was silent before Roy sighed and a tone of pain swung in his voice. This was one of the rare times, Yana heard Roy visibly expressing emotions.
"It's a mistake on our side. This is much grander than we thought. We didn't anticipate Novom would make such a move. Don't blame yourself and-" Roy heard the heavy breathing of Yana as if she was about to collapse any second, "Are you ok? What happened? Do you need help?"
"Haha…" Yana's raw laughter hurt her own head. To hear Roy being actually worried about her. Yana stared at the sky while the cold metal of the door seeped into her skin and made her shiver slightly, "I'm fine. No need for anything…
"To be honest, I didn't tell you yet," now regret swung in Roy's voice, "But the situation in the other countries doesn't look better."
So Paul was saying the truth. Roy had no idea what happened to Yana, he didn't know she was kidnapped and injured and blamed herself for messing up, for letting go, that Mik was dead, that she missed important information and and and-
Roy didn't know of all these bottled up emotions in Yana, so why was he telling her all of this now? Because she sounded weak? Because he could hear something wasn't right?
"Our resources and manpower's low. You should know why. The majority of the government's on Novom's side."
"I know... I've finished my mission. It's Nixo's CEO, Paul. He's the one with Novom and orchestrated… the orphanage incident too," Yana felt dizzy but bit through it. She indeed found out about Paul, at least something, "I think he's an executive."
"Good job," now Roy's voice was warm. Yana felt funny. If only he was always nice like this, Yana would feel much better.
"We'll keep track of him. Yana, are you sure you're-"
"There's nothing good about it. Too much has been sacrificed. This country… will be done once the goverment has extended their reach. It's obvious. The government here's completely on Novom's side," Yana tried to sit up straight but could barely move.
"Yes, we've already decided to give up on this country."
"Ha… haha…" tears welled up in Yana's eyes. They've already decided? Then what use was Yana? What has she been doing all this time?
From the beginning, everything given to her was insignificant, everything she touched has been messed up. From the beginning, Novom already knew about her. So what the fuck was the point then even?
What was she doing?
What was EF doing? Just what were they-
"Roy," Yana choked back her tears, "Be honest. The missions you gave me was just to keep me away from the actual important mission you all are doing."
Yana didn't form it as a question or a statement that needed to be confirmed, it was a fact that both Yana and Roy, no, all of EF knew about. Yet, of course, Roy didn't say anything. His silence only fueled the despair Yana felt, her voice started to break as hopelessness overcame her threatening to swallow her whole and alive, "If I didn't create the '3-comps-scandal', Novom wouldn't have used this to their advantage. Isn't it so? Isn't it? Roy, answer me!"
"You know it's not true. They've been planning this from the beginning. Don't blame yourself."
"So, in the end, if I'm here or not makes no difference."
"Yana, pick yourself up. This is not the time to whine," classic Roy was back. Of course, his empathy wouldn't last long.
"I've another mission for you."
"So, another useless one."
"All missions are important, don't forget you're the key. I can't let too much harm happen to you. I promised your parents after all."
"Well, shit. You fucked up already," Yana looked at her own tattered body before she hung up and threw her phone on the ground.
Then slowly, gradually the dam around her heart broke, the walls collapsed and clouds floated around to shed their might.
Silently, Yana pulled her knees to her. Silently, all tears came out and silently she sobbed.
Just for a minute, just for a minute, Yana allowed herself to be weak and vulnerable.
She needed to cleanse herself from all these superfluous emotions. Then-
She stood up.
A minute was over.
Yana staggered out, to the vast empty parking lot with the sun high in the sky.
At the very end, through blurry tears, Yana saw a car, then she slowly turned around. The sunlight hit her hair and dyed this broken being in ethereal light as if at any second heavens would take back a child they've exploited.
"Come out. Drive me home," so weak. Her voice was so weak. Her body was so weak and her mind was so weak.
But, it was ok. For today at least. Tomorrow she would recover and all of this pitiful mass she amounted to was washed away with a new day.
"At your service," long legs strode out of the dark building before a sombre face smiled slightly at Yana.
Neither questioned the other. Yana didn't know when he got here but he must've been here from the beginning.
Yana didn't ask him why he didn't help her, why he was here, what his motives were.
In fact, both of them knew it deep down.
The reason why. And for him, the reason why Yana didn't ask him. At the moment, it was ok for them.
"I drove you to a hospital first."
"No, home," Yana said, determined before she staggered towards the car accepting his help.
The person gave up and slowly strode in front of Yana before he opened the door for her.
Yana narrowed her eyes at his back.
Jin. Sooner or later, I'll deal with you too and I'll find out your motives.