"I thought you said you were doing fine my dear."
Venicia took a step forward. Reika stepped back without realizing it. Venicia was still looking at her with friendly, but stern eyes.
"I wanted to come here at least once. Think of the worries I might have as your mother."
"Ha. Haha…"
Reika laughed awkwardly.
Looking at those two, Asher thought.
'So, the lady has finally shown herself?'
It was the person that had been helping the previous body's owner live here despite causing so much trouble. Asher had not met her yet since reincarnating, but it was thanks to this woman that he had not been sold off or kicked out of the estate.
But she didn't even come to see Asher today. Not only that, he couldn't just brazenly start a conversation with her. He was an employee and was at the grace and mercy of her actions. He should not overstep his boundaries, he thought.
I mean but it also made sense for Venicia to come eventually. If her only daughter was constantly covered in scratches and wounds at the dinner table, she had no choice but to be worried and come check up on her. Even if Venicia vented her anger at him, Reika would try to defend him now since he had started to teach her in earnest.
But she could have also come to see Reika as an excuse to see him. Asher looked at Venecia.
She turned her eyes after finishing the conversation she was having with her daughter. What kind of emotions were in her eyes, Asher thought? Anger? Suspicion?
His gaze met with Venicia's, and Asher flinched.
"Hmm. Hmm. Asher. It's been a long time."
She corrected her posture with a fake cough. However, his body was restless and was shaking as if he wanted to jump and go hug her right away.
"...."
'What the hell is going on with this body?'
Asher felt incredibly weird but suppressed his body's twitching and his rising emotions as he bowed his head in respect to Lady Venicia.
"Are you sick? You got a fever, don't you? Let's see."
She walked over to him and rubbed Asher's forehead. The warm body temperature of Venicia's hand, made Asher slightly uncomfortable and he retreated quickly. Venicia flinched at Asher's sudden behavior.
"I'm sorry. I was being too outspoken.", she muttered with a disappointed and apologetic look.
"Oh, no that's not it…"
Asher shook his head. What was wrong with this stupid body? He couldn't control his emotions. Whenever he saw her warm eyes, his hands kept trying to move. He took a deep breath in to relax his nerves and spoke.
"Long time no see, Miss Venicia."
"What do you mean 'Miss Venicia'?"
Venicia made a slightly disappointed expression once more at Asher's words. She clicked her tongue and shook her head. She had spoken affectionately as if she were referring to her own child.
"There's no reason to call me that when we're the only ones here. Although whatever your circumstances may be now, I still raised you like my own son. Why don't you try speaking like you used to with me."
She looked at him with warm eyes.
"Okay mother."
Suddenly Asher was surprised at his own words and felt a tier drip down his cheek.
"Ah."
At that moment he realized. He had never received parental affection even once in his two lives.
In his childhood, his household was poor. And like most commoners, the eyes that his parents looked at him were not ones of affection, but the eyes of those who looked at goods that needed to be sold for other uses.
Even when they sent him to the academy, they had only agreed in hopes to find himself a suitor and marry a richer woman so they could live better off.
It was no different even after he entered the imperial guards. After working there so long, he started to recognize the gazes of those who look at him. They were gazes of either, admiration, reverence, ridicule, or murderous intent. There was never a time in his two lives that he truly received a genuine look of affection and love.
All but a few were able to actually understand him, and those happened to be other orphan children he would sometimes bring food for when he was an imperial guard.
Funnily enough, this was the first time he had ever received a gaze of genuine affection and it had melted his cold heart, allowing a tear to emerge from his eyes. Venicia saw this tear however, as something had truly been wrong with Asher's health and she yelled at the knight.
"Charon! Call the doctor now!"
"You don't have to. Oh, my goodness mother."
His mouth was feeling itchy as if he had eaten something bitter. Calling someone mother was foreign to him, and yet oddly comfortable at the same time. It wasn't a bad feeling. He laughed.
Venicia shifted her gaze with worry at Charon with a serious face and signaled with her eyebrows to get moving. Charon looked unhappy, but he calmly stepped back and left the two be.
"…Is there a problem Asher??? Just tell me, I'll listen to you as much as I can."
"I…."
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He could technically cheat here. She was giving him the leeway to do so. She probably somewhat already heard the situation from Reika and was just making it easier for him to say it.
But he… didn't want to. He didn't want to deceive anyone who showed such feelings of genuine affection towards him. It felt wrong. But… he also didn't have much of a choice.
"I think I've lost my memories."
He laughed bitterly. How would she react? Asher's throat started to become dry