Time passed as we tell our stories to each other. It felt like being part of a group similar to the ones decades ago where people tell their journey towards healing in front of strangers. Though ours is a story about our trip to this hell. I said strangers but, at this point, even Fionn doesn't feel like a stranger to me. A vicious criminal, I know. Yet now, somehow in my eyes, he doesn't appear as evil as I thought.
I could even see a little change in Fionn's face when Aran told his story. Maybe, he could somehow relate, I thought.
When Aran tells his story, I know people outside will give him the same treatment as someone who massacred tens of people. I felt bad for him. Anyone who met this guy would feel how genuine and kind he is.
Humans. They would jeer and shout at you with condemning words when they hear your story yet cheer for you as they watch your struggle with your life on the line. Well, it's not like I'm that different.
At first, I was one of those who are really against Hopeful Homicide. I used to watch it with hatred for its makers and couldn't stomach its brutality and disregard for human life. Many would argue that they're murderers and psychopaths. Still, forfeiting a human life feels heavy and almost crushing to me. Even with the insanity that is happening to me, I still feel the same.
And there are also people like Aran, Urick, or me that didn't do anything wrong. Yet here we are. In the nine years of this death game, the number of 'players' didn't even lower. Bit by bit every year it increased as if everything is indicted with the death penalty.
As years passed the voice against the death games was drowned by the excitement and entertainment of the masses. Even I, couldn't stop watching it. I still feel the same disgust and weight as I watch a person die in front of me, yet I find myself pulled in with my curiosity about the concept, and the players. Maybe even excitement, as Hopeful Homicide became normal and didn't feel real. Almost like it's a movie.
Thinking about this made me realize that even back then I was not as normal or kind as I thought. Maybe this is what humans are. But, what does it even mean to be human?
Lost in thoughts, I only heard the last few sentences of Aran's story which I already knew.
"What about you, Amelka?" Aran said after a brief pause.
He looked at her with a smile. Expecting to hear her story.
Amelka stared back at him. There's a subtle change in her expression like the almost unnoticeable twitching of her eyes and the little movement of her lips. Aside from me, I think everyone didn't see any difference in her expression. I could feel anger or maybe sadness in her eyes.
The last time I asked her about how she ended up in Hell's Oasis, I did not see any change in her expression as she continued reading her huge book. Now, as if reliving the past that she tried hard to bury and cage inside of her, the subtle change in her face became apparent not just to me, but also everyone else.
Maybe hearing Urick's and Aran's stories made her revisit her own.
Seeing her made me even more interested in how she ended up in this hell. Someone who's cold and rarely shows emotion would not have such an expression if they enjoyed what they've done to end up on death row. At least that's what I think and I believe that it's true.
I waited in anticipation, yet a minute passed without Amelka saying a single word, Aran thought she might not want to talk about it.
"It's fine Amelka. You don't have to," he said as he looked her in the eyes and smile.
Urick leaned back and just watched not saying anything. While Fionn listens as he stares at the tower. I guess even Urick and Fionn, think that what happened to her that landed her in this place is something she must hate.
Amelka tucked both her legs close to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them. Her soft voice became a bit raspy as she spoke.
"I killed my uncle."
No one said anything after. The silence made the flow of sand, the clash of the wind with the rocks, and our little movements more audible.
She killed her uncle. In the short moment of silence, I thought of reasons for why she did it. A dispute between families, maybe through an accident she didn't expect or maybe, because her uncle did something to her. Amelka is beautiful, and old guys obsessed with young and pretty women are common nowadays. It's an assumption filled with bias but, maybe it's the latter.
What a sick bastard, I thought even though I am not sure what happened to her.
While theorizing in my head, unconsciously I stared at Amelka. I don't know what kind of expression I have for her eyes to become reddish, for her to blink more frequently, and for the shaking of her lips to become more noticeable.
"How bout you, rude kid?" Urick asked while he looked at Fionn and said it paired with a single and sudden movement of his head upwards.
Fionn looked at him and stared for a couple of seconds with a grin on his face.
"What? Too cool to share?"
Without hesitation and still having that creepy grin,
"I killed three schoolmates," he said.
He looked satisfied, yet when he spoke, I noticed his eyes widen for a bit.
As if everyone expected something of that magnitude, no one showed a surprised expression and just stayed quiet. Aran's face, on the other hand, shows a bit of worry.
"So, you a kid who's gone crazy?" Urick replied.
What's weird is that, even after knowing that I am with someone who passes to be a serial killer, I didn't feel fear or hatred when I look at him. Rather, I felt pity. I see a thin and deranged kid, probably only twenty years old or a bit older. Yes, he's batshit crazy, but that's how I feel. Maybe the insanity of this place slowly seeps into my being.
When the first Hopeful Homicide happened in the year fifty-eight, death row criminals of age eighteen are already included in the death game. Then, they made the first global act, increasing the minimum age to twenty. But in the following months, most countries lowered the age for a person to be able to receive the death sentence to the age of sixteen. As if creating some reserve "players". Fionn might be one.
Fionn stared at Urick, his grin is replaced by a sound that came from his teeth grinding each other.
"I became one. To clean those trash." Fionn said.
He looked up and browses the sky as if he is looking for something.
"I made them suffer! And they deserved it! I'll kill them again when I see them in hell!"
Fionn shouted those words at the top of his lungs. I could already see the outrage of the family of the people he killed. The jeers of almost all of the viewers outside and the prayers for Fionn's demise.
After a brief pause, he continued,
"Pray that I die here. If I win this thing. Even if they change my memory, I will kill you all!"
A few seconds after Fionn's cry of anger, the thundering noise from the tower came again. It startled everyone and made us stand up. And as our instinct, we looked at the tower.
"Wait we should not look and hide!" I said.
Somehow stupid, I've forgotten what happened to Jin and Finnley because I was still thinking about everyone else's stories. Their stories made me more curious about them. Felt like how I was outside but now I am just experiencing the same tragedy as these players.
Everyone listened and hid behind a rock big enough to be capable of even blocking the gust of wind that we know will come.
Aran went out of hiding, "What about Finnley and Jin?" he said and went to approach them.
Urick also went and run towards Finnley and Jin's frozen body. He wrapped his arms around Finnley who is smaller than Jin. I could see Urick's muscles flexed as he tried his best to lift Finnley. But he didn't even budge.
Realizing that nothing is happening even though he used his entire strength, Urick held Aran's arm and run back to the rock he was hiding behind earlier.
The gust of wind returns, this time its strength is apparent compared to how strong the one that froze Finnley and Jin.
We braced ourselves behind the rock. After a few minutes of strong winds, it subsided.
"What will happen now?" Aran said.
Looking around for the enemy or whatever the tower's wind will bring forth we held our knives in our hand.
"You guys see anything?" Urick asked.
Near, far, we looked everywhere. Even squinting our eyes to see if there are zombies or any monsters around the horizon.
But there's nothing. A minute passed and still nothing new happened. We were confused. Everyone returned their combat knives to their pocket.
As I was still looking far away, at the other players that are still visible from where we are, Aran approached me and asked,
"Gray, what do you think is happening?"
I turned to him and thought of what I should say as my answer, but couldn't come up with a proper one.
"Sorry, I also don't have an idea."
What's the point of those thundering noises and that gust of wind? Did I miss something? They wouldn't do something unnecessary.
After half a minute, I noticed fighting among the other players far away from us.
Urick who's checking Finnley and Jin noticed something.
"Bro, their eyes became pure white."
Still looking at the fighting in the distance, when I heard Urick's words I realized something.
"Get away from them!" I shouted.