I have never seen myself as an especially gifted person, neither have I seen myself as a good person.

In fact, you could say I was the kind of person to run over your dog, yell at your children and spit on your face afterwards.

In fact, I did these exact things to my neighbour. Twice. A week. For eight years, until he died of a heart attack. The doctors said it was a mythral valve failure, but I do think it might have had something to do with the spit.

So when I died, it was truly a surprise. Not the fact it was an untimely death - that was guaranteed for me - or the fact that it was violent.

I became surprised because of HOW I was beaten up to death, not dying itseld. The frozen sausages didn't kill me at first, nor did the relentless assault of that blasted cat on my legs.

No. It was the man's shoe.

I tripped on it before falling and dying. Him mounting me and stuffing the sausage in my mouth until I choked was but a detail. Was it not because of his shoe, and I would certainly still be alive today.

I mean, I killed his father and a bunch of his dogs, why would it be so easy for him to kill me?

I digress.

A while after I woke up, marinating in a bunch of shit and piss. No surprises there. Life was always a bag of rats, why would death be any different? I've never been a believer in salvation or punishment. What we have now is what we will have always. That's the one truth of the world.

What I did not expect was this.

Now, when I say "reincarnation", most people think about being reborn. What I never considered was that there would be no gods or high heaven.

Only shit and piss.

So I waited. No big problems there, as I could not feel or see. All I had was the screen in front of me and a bunch of knowledge shoved into my head.

This isn't hell. This isn't heaven. There are no gods, there are no souls. I just am what I am. A dick.

So let's just wait until someone comes to clean me up.

Here they come.

Thank you very much. Here, have a tip. You're welcome.

There isn't much to do here. Only a big screen in front of me. I can't even take my eyes off of it. It's like this whole place is a massive virtual reality headset.

When I look up, I see the boy's belly. If I look even further ahead, then my point of view changes to the one of his eyes.

Then of I keep going up, it changes again. The ceiling, a cloud, somewhere even higher... there is no end to it.

Also, I can't do much. So I have been looking around. The boy's father is a carpenter, which somehows seems to be some kind of noble occupation in this place.

His mother is a whore. Not in the literal sense, though. She just does it anywhere with anyone. Every five to ten hours she can be seen fucking with someone different, it's almost like a clock.

He. What a lousy life you'll have kid. I wander if she will live past the day your father catches her.

She seems quite young. I suppose they haven't been maried for long, this is how she has been keeping it a secret.

Anyhow.

Then there are his other "mothers", or his father's collection of concubines, as well as maids, butlers and whatnot.

I don't realy care. What I really wanted was for those damn cats outside to stop meowing. They wake the boy every two to three hours, and that's a pain.

Then there's the manor. A big house, a basement full of human slaves. A well-tended yard and a few kids running around. Brothers and sisters, I guess.

Not that I care.

I wonder how long will it be until this boy dies?

I'm bored as fuck down here. I've looked around for how long now? Two days? Three?

"Hey, you!"

I mean, if the boy dies I should die too, right? Maybe then I will reincarnate as something better. A sword, maybe a stick. Even an ant would do.

"I'm talking to you! Hey! Don't pretend I'm not here!"

Thinking better, an ant would be awesome! I at least would have legs. Yeah, reincarnating as an ant would be nice...

Ouch! Motherfucker, who dares?!

"I do, so what?! Will you stop ignoring me now, bitch?!"

Who the hell... WHAT... are you?

In front of me is a... something. I thought it was static at first, but it seems to be someone. HOW THE HELL DID IT HIT ME?

"Not so though now, are you newby? Can't even touch others and still acts like a big guy, what are you, a dick?"

Yeah I'm a dick, so what?

"...my condolences..."

Yeah, whatever, wait... WAIT, FUCK!

That fucking bastard disappeared! It just disappeared, damnit!

But it hit me. It saw me. Yeah, I need to find it. And find it I will.

Or so I intended, but it hass been three days already, and no sign of that thing has appeared so far.

I have explored the village neraby, as well as some of the woods and the city a few dozen miles away, and no sign of that has appeared so far.

Fucking shit. Guess I will have to learn by myself how to control this dick - and whatever supernatural powers it might have.

It doesn't have anything to do with "souls" or "gods". This was clear to me the moment I appeared in that boy's cloth diapers. There are no "souls", and I am not a "soul". That's stupidity.

Still, I am something. And it seems like I don't need to be a soul or a body to talk to others or hit them. Or at least to do that to others like me.

So far I have looked around, but I don't feel any arms or legs with which I can do anything. All I have is my dick and this birds-eye view of the world around me.

Tsk.

Let's try that.

Once a dick, think like a dick. Dicks move when they get erect, right? So let's look for some porn. Natural porn, like the boy's mother over there.

Let's watch it.

...

Tsk.

Nothing.

Well, the boy is only a few days old. I still remember the scene of him getting out of his mother after all.

Yeah, if this works, it should work only a few years down the line.

Shit.

What can I do, then?

Maybe something about this body of mine. Can I make something about it?

I've tried to move what used to be my hands and feet and it didn't do jack shit.

Maybe I have to try my own dick.

...

Nothing.

Tsk.

What the hell am I supposed to do here?!

Stupid boy, stupid body, stupid dick!

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

Ooh... something moved.

Did I just hit the boy's balls?

I felt something in what used to be my legs, and somehow I know those are my balls. Or the boy's balls. Whatever. The balls twisted a little.

He.

Fucking jackpot.