As far as Gavin was concerned, the most eerie element of the bunny swarm was the silence. The countless cute, fluffy, creatures ran amok through the corridors of St. Hibbards' Very Special Academy with only the sound of their soft, padded little feet against the floor to advertise their presence.
Gavin would have preferred roars of carnage.
What they lacked in decibels, however, they more than made up for in sheer mass. They burst through every doorway, filled every corridor, and climbed up and down every stairway. They barged into Ms. Chong's French class, causing her to shout out, "Lapines!" They interrupted Mr. Spindlefork's geometry class, causing him to warn everyone to "Protect your protractors!" They streamed into Mrs. Gorgacheek's biology class, causing her to attempt to calm everyone by shouting, "Do not fear! Oryctolagus cuniculus is a harmless species!"
She was then smothered by the rabbits and suffered mild contusions over much of her body.
The school was, to put it mildly, overrun. Nobody knew what to do. Most of the teachers were frozen in fear and most of the students were struck dumb with unabashed affection for the cuddly beasts. It was pandemonium of the highest order. Mr. Unger was seen running for the supply closet.
And Gavin couldn't help but feel mildly responsible for it all. After all, he'd sneezed.
"Stanford!" he called out, hurrying back to his roommate, who was staggering to his feet after being overrun by the animals. "We have to do something to fix this!"
"Are you crazy?" asked Stanford, bewildered. "We need to run for our lives before we're mistaken for carrots!"
Gavin grunted with frustration, then hurried out into the dark hallway and ran after the stampede. Everywhere he looked, he saw rabbits zipping in and out of long shadows, seemingly coming out of nowhere and running roughshod over everyone. People were buried under the onslaught of cuteness. He had just run past Mr. Chickawa's Honors English class when he heard a familiar voice.
"Gavin! What's going on?" Jupiter ducked past a number of rampaging rabbits and forced her way out of the room. "Where did all of these bunnies come from?"
"I sneezed. Long story. We need to get rid of them before they overrun the entire school!"
"Too late on that," she noted, glancing back into the bunny-filled room. "What did you have in mind?"
Gavin frowned. This was the sticking point. He didn't have a plan. He even didn't have an inkling of an idea that could be nurtured into an eventual plan. A lot of things had popped into his head at first, but he doubted the rabbits would follow him even if he were playing the flute, and he didn't think a handful of carrots would be enough to entice a gazillion rabbits to leave the school.
Even if either of those ideas would have worked, he had neither flute nor carrots.
"What do you know about rabbits?" he asked.
"Know? They've got soft fur and have lots of babies!" Jupiter answered, exasperated.
"There must be something else! Who would know about rabbits?"
"Maybe Mrs. Gorgacheek?" suggested Jupiter. "She teachers biology."
It was worth a shot. Gavin didn't know where Mrs. Gorgacheek's class was, so he followed Jupiter into the twilight of the school corridors through the throng of panicking students, teachers, and rabbits. They raced down the hall, up a flight of stairs, and down another corridor. Finally, they arrived at a classroom and Jupiter shoved the door open.
"Mrs. Gorgacheek!" she called.
"She's down here," answered Janet Topski from behind what looked like a mound of rabbits.
Gavin and Jupiter hurried past the teacher's desk (which had been colonized by about twenty rabbits) to find Janet and another boy kneeling next to Mrs. Gorgacheek. The elderly woman was out cold.
"Oh my God!" cried Jupiter. "Is she...?"
"She just fainted," said the boy, a thin, serious-looking boy wearing a checkered button-down shirt and slacks.
"We need to-" began Gavin, but he was interrupted when a rabbit leaped from the teacher's desk onto his head. "Ack!" He shook his head and flung the animal away. It bounced off the wall and hopped out into the hall, none the worse for wear. "What need to get rid of these rabbits!"
"How?" asked Janet. "We opened the windows, but only a couple of the little demons took the bait and split."
"We were hoping Mrs. Gorgacheek could tell us," said Jupiter. "Being the biology teacher and all."
The conversation was cut short when a new fluffle of rabbits entered the room, causing other kids to cry out in terror and scramble out of the way.
Gavin and Jupiter stood and pressed themselves up against the blackboard. Janet did the same, but the boy was too slow and he cried out once and then was lost under the sea of white and grey fur.
"Valentine!" yelled Janet.
The three of them waited a tense moment for the onrush to pass, then found the boy curled into a fetal position, his skin covered in tiny scratch marks from all of the paws. Janet rushed to his side.
"You're OK, Valentine," she cooed. "You're OK."
"I'm OK," he repeated weakly, still curled into a ball.
"Do either of you know anything about rabbits?" asked Gavin. "Do they have a weakness? What are their natural predators?"
"Mainly birds of prey," replied Janet. "And dogs. And big squirrels."
"Seriously? Squirrels?" asked Jupiter.
"Big ones."
"There has to be something else!" Gavin turned and punched the blackboard out of frustration. "Something we can use against them!"
Valentine slowly raised a hand, while still refusing to uncurl.
"What is it, Val?" asked Janet.
"Smell," whispered the boy. "Their sense of smell."
Gavin turned to Jupiter, but she was as confused as he was. Janet Topski, however, was not. "They have an excellent sense of smell," she explained. "Very sensitive."
An idea popped into Gavin's head. It was way out of the box of normal behavior, and would probably get them all in a ton of trouble, but they didn't have time to stay in the box and be good. He'd started the chain reaction that had brought this pestilence down upon St. Hibbards', it was up to him to fix the problem. He turned to Jupiter. "You're good at chemistry, right?"
"Chemistry?" she asked, puzzled. "Not really, but-"
"I'm good at chemistry." They looked up to find Egbert Salvadore, the boy who lost his front teeth during Hide & Seek, standing on the other side of the mound of bunnies occupying Mrs. Gorgacheek's desk. "I have a 98 in Mr. Choi's Honors Chem. Though it really should be a 99, because the book was wrong."
Gavin smiled. "You'll be perfect."
***
Gavin, Jupiter, and Egbert waded through the warren-like corridors of the school until they reached Mr. Choi's chemistry room. A couple of students huddled in the back corner, trying to keep away from a number of rabbits who were roaming the floor of the classroom. Mr. Choi was nowhere to be seen.
"Do you want to make an explosive?" asked Egbert as they entered. "I'm really good at making explosives."
"We're not blowing up the bunnies!" declared Jupiter, scandalized. Egbert shrugged.
"No explosives," promised Gavin, before stopping and rethinking the matter through. "Or, rather, maybe yes, but not-" he quickly added, "-to blow up any of the rabbits."
"You'd better not," warned Jupiter.
"What do you want to blow up?" asked Egbert, a little too excited.
"A stink bomb."
Jupiter and Egbert stared at Gavin for a moment as comprehension dawned on their faces.
"Oh, dear God, Gavin," said Jupiter. "You can't mean-"
"I like the way you think," said Egbert. "Where's the stink bomb?"
Gavin smiled sheepishly. "I was also hoping you could make one. The nastiest, smellist, stink bomb in the history of stink bombs."
Egbert's face positively glowed with glee.
They got to work, Gavin and (reluctantly) Jupiter following Egbert's instructions in gathering components and ingredients from the various shelves and cabinets spread across the room. As they worked, a steady stream of rabbits entered and exited the room, as well as the occasional frantic student. At one point, Mrs. Achachack stuck her head in and asked what they were doing and why weren't they screaming in horror and running away from all the rabbits? Not wanting to tell a teacher what they were doing (to ensure nobody tried to stop them), they said they were hiding in the classroom to get away from the swarm. They gave a couple of half-hearted shouts of terror for good measure and the government teacher bought it and left with a final call to "Save yourselves!"
Finally, just over ten minutes after they'd begun, Egbert packed a fuse around a tight wad of volatile chemicals. "This is going to be so sweet," he said, whistling through the gap in his front teeth.
"Where do we set it off?" asked Jupiter.
It was a good question. They needed someplace central enough so that the effect would carry through the entire school and drive the rabbits outside. Unfortunately, there was really only one place that would fit the bill, and pretty much the entire student body was going to hate him for it. But there was no other choice.
"The cafeteria."
***
The three would-be demolition experts carefully carried their prize down to the cafeteria. There they found a terrifying mass of rabbit flesh undulating quietly as one. While they were all over the room, the largest concentration was crowded around the salad bar.
The soft sound of whimpering attracted the children's attention to the main lunch counter, behind which crouched Head Chef Arduino, gazing out at the rabbits, his face pale.
"No sudden moves," whispered Gavin to the others.
They approached the condiment counter, situated in the center of the room. As they inched forward, more and more beady little bunny eyes turned their way, watching, waiting. Gavin felt a trickle of fear creep up his spine, but he fought it down and forced himself to clear his head and get the job done.
Finally, they reached the counter and Egbert set the bomb down. A rabbit leaped up onto the counter to investigate, causing all three kids to jerk back, startled. Gavin even let out a quick squeal. The bunny sniffed the stink bomb and then quickly backed away warily.
"You ready?" asked Gavin, taking out a lighter he'd found in Mr. Choi's desk drawer.
Egbert nodded. "As soon as it's lit, run like your life depended on it."
"Because it might," added Gavin/
"Uhh... guys?" Jupiter tapped Gavin on the shoulder. "Maybe you could hurry it up? We seem to have something of an audience.
Gavin turned around and his face went white upon seeing every single rabbit staring in his direction. Even the ones stuffing themselves at the salad bar had paused their meal to peer at the human interlopers.
Even Mr. Arduino was staring at them. Although he was also slowly nodding, a single tear running down his cheek.
"Get ready to run," said Gavin. He flicked the lighter on and brought it to the fuse, which lit instantly.
"Run!" yelled Jupiter.
They ran. The bunnies, meanwhile, watched the fuse work its way toward the large, tightly-wrapped object on the condiment counter. Chef Arduino ducked down and covered his head.
The stink bomb went off.
The effect was instantaneous.
The blast was minor, barely shaking the room.
The smell, however, was something else entirely.
Gavin thought it was a mix between rotting meat left out in the sun for a few days and the inside of a port-o-potty after an all-day music festival. It was powerful, it was nauseating, it was sinus-busting. He dropped to the floor, beaten down by the stench. Jupiter and Egbert managed a few more steps before collapsing themselves.
The horrible smell quickly permeated the entire school, a shock wave of odor blown out in a ring-like pattern. There were more screams, more running, and the sound of more than a few people losing their lunch. This was something masterfully-horrid, and the stench was not going away any time soon.
It worked perfectly.
All over the school, the bunnies instantly made a run for any open door or window they could find, leaving St. Hibbards' in droves like rats fleeing a very smelly ship. Within a few minutes, there wasn't a single rabbit left inside the school. A few minutes after that, there weren't any humans left inside either as the students and teachers followed the rabbits' example and fled before their sinuses caved in on them.
Some time later, Gavin, Jupiter, and Egbert stood together on the lawn not far from the Aurelia Limpit tree watching the staff of the school run around like headless chickens trying to get everything under control. At one point, Mrs. Gruber stood alone and seemed to be staring directly into Gavin's soul. He was sure she knew what had happened and that they were going to either be named heroes of the school or suspended, but then she turned and walked away. Gavin didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved.
"Just so you know," said Egbert. "If anyone asks, I had nothing to do with this."
"Neither did we," said Gavin. "I'm pretty sure I was holded up in the chem lab hiding from bunnies the whole time."
"You were," stated Jupiter. "I was there with you. You were terrified out of your wits."
"Just so we're clear." Egbert turned and walked away.
The matter was never spoken of again.