In the meantime, I was standing in front of the teacher's room. Waiting for my teacher and the female student who entered before me to open the door—also to finish the thing that they are doing.
Of course, that thing wasn't allowed to school, I could say that it was something that a scum man would offer to a girl who was in a tough situation.
Let's just think that, that girl has failed on one of her subjects, and her family has high expectations of her. Of course, she's gonna freak out and asking what should she do.
Telling her parents must be difficult, after all, they work hard just to give all she needs in school that's why they expected too much.
Jump from the top of the roof and committed suicide is out of the question. And that leaves the last solution.
Throwing her body to the nasty old men just to save her from her doom. That's just a hypothetical, I couldn't guarantee that my statement was true until the door in front of me opened.
With that being said, the door slowly opened, revealing a high school girl with her blouse crumpled and wasn't tucked into her skirt, her neatly braided hair was turned into a messy one. As she was standing in front of me with her eyes wide open, I could smell the reek of cigarette from her clothes as well on his hair.
Without a word, I stepped back and gave her space to leave the teacher's office. She'd done enough, there was no reason for her to stay in this kind of place.
Maybe it's just my imagination, but I'd sensed her tear fell as she ran away.
I'm no superhero or the fancy protagonist that you saw on the television or read in any novels and stories. I'm just a seventeen-year-old high schoolboy without the ability to see any color other than black, white, and gray.
Even if I reach my hand to her, what would I say?... You have my sympathy so from now on I'll protect you? Don't cry I'll be by your side and never leave you alone?
That sort of thing never exists, your knight in shining armor, prince riding in a white horse, heroes that save the day. They all just a product of our imagination when we were young.
I wasn't trying to pretend that I haven't seen this thing today, this kind of thing surely burned into my memories like the days when my parents beat me and the days that one of my classmates—Orlando tied me on the tree and leave me hanging there.
Remembering what was she looked like after she came out of the room, made my chest tightened, I felt disappointed in myself cause I couldn't do anything for her.
I just hope that she forgets everything that happened today, with that maybe my guiltiness won't follow me.
"What the heck are you still doing there?"
Hearing his voice made my blood run faster. However, if I punched this old man, I'll just get myself expelled then again my parents would beat me up until there's no blood flowing through my veins.
Calming myself, I made a few steps into the teacher's room. Just like what I smelled earlier, there was a pack of cigarettes on top of his table and a few cigarette filters lying around the floor.
Just like what criminals do, my teacher started to clean the evidence, picking each filter and packs of cigarettes and throwing it into the plastic bag that he took from one of his cabinets. Walking on a circle like a rat, he raised his nose trying to smell the room if it still reeks of cigarette or so whatever.
After a few sprays of his DIY home fragrance—made from the lemon that he took from his drawer and dishwashing liquid that he asked on the janitor—he looked at the place so satisfied.
Just as he finished cleaning the whole teacher's room, my mother showed up from the door, holding her purse bag.
Looking at the open window, I didn't bother myself to listen to them. Especially, after what I witnessed earlier, I felt like so much thing happened this day and that was enough. I just want to be the leaves slowly falling from the tree outside the window.
It's just the usual conversation of the adults, complimenting each other before they got to the point—which me BEING disrespectful to our teacher because I haven't let him finished talking earlier.
I didn't speak anything cause I know if I say a word and tried to defend myself, it will just worsen my situation.
The whole conversation was gone round and round, my mother kept apologizing and my teacher kept saying that it was okay, just make sure that I wouldn't do it again. Her head kept bowing even we got out of the room.
As expected, she hit me on my head with her purse. I don't understand but if the reason why she brought a purse bag was to hit me with that, then she has some loose screws.
She blurted out again how worthless I am and how me— bragging down our family.
It was just like a tunnel, her words entered in my left ears, and came out on the right side. If she just let me talk and listened to me.
"Try to act like a normal high school student!"
If a normal student she was talking about was like Orlando and his friends or my classmates who keep bullying me inside the classroom, then I would rather stay like this.
"If I hadn't given birth to you, maybe my life would be much easier! If you just didn't exist in the first place, I wouldn't experience this kind of hell"
That's it... she says the magic words.
Turning around, I run faster as I could. I couldn't hear my mother yelling at me, I couldn't hear every step I made, I couldn't hear the crying sounds of cicadas outside the building, I couldn't hear everything
I don't want to hear everything...
Looking around, I haven't expected that I'll end up on top of our building. The view was still breathtaking as usual, and the wind blowing strong made my hair waving side to side.
I continued walking until I ended up on the very edge where I can see the ground looks so terrifying.
Guess this where I'll die...
All I wanted was to see the colors of the sky, but with all things that happened to me and all I experienced, I felt like I don't have to see the colors of the sky.
It wasn't necessary...
With that taking out, I don't have any dreams and ambitions left. It means I can die in peace without hoping maybe tomorrow after I walked up, I could see colors, or maybe one of the doctors from before would call our house and gave me free medications.
"Now I can die in peace—"
"Are you trying to jumping from this building?"
"Yes, and it's none of your business..."
"Then, can you answered me before you die?"
"Just keep it short..."
My mind was dead set on jumping off the roof that I haven't notice that there was someone else in here.
"Would you rather jump from the roof with me or run away and lived to a far place with me?"