***Six years ago***
Aidan brought me to our spot in the woods, the place we would normally meet each day. He must've spent hours setting up the candles and spreading all the flower petals on the ground. It made me feel so special, for the first time in my life.
I didn't realize I was crying until Aidan turned and asked me about it.
"You're crying Ari." He said as he wiped a tear from my face.
"W-what?" I asked and touched my face.
"Y-you don't have to be here…with me, if you don't want to."
"I want to be here!"
"Then why are you crying?"
"I-I'm just happy."
He smiled at me. It was such a gentle smile back then. The war with Britania had already been raging for two years but we had been at war with other nations practically my entire life.
I remember I couldn't believe that in a time of war a gentle smile like that could exist. He took me to the blanket he had laid out, we spent hours just talking and flirting with each other. It was like we were in a bubble of peace and bliss when we were together.
"I love you." Aidan blurted out in the silence. I could tell he was sincere from the red tint across his entire face.
"I-I love you too." I said, my face was now equally red.
He flashed his sweet smile at me – it could make me do anything and feel like I was everything, at least to him. He pulled me in closer to him and held me close.
"I…" Aidan started to say but it seemed like he lost his nerve.
"What?" I asked and looked up at him.
"N-nothing." He was blushing again and trying to avoid eye contact.
"T-tell me Aidan." I said and grabbed his shirt.
He cradled my face in his hand. His touch was so warm, so inviting.
"I-I want to marry you."
"W-what? You want to…"
"Yes I-I want to marry you."
"I want to too…"
"You want to marry me?"
"Y-yes!" I say excitedly. He kissed me and pulled me down to the ground. He kept kissing me as his hands tentatively roamed my body. His touch was so gentle, so uncertain but he wanted to explore.
"Ai-Aidan, I…" I said and pushed on his chest lightly.
"Sorry, I won't push you to do something you don't want to."
"I… want to but…" I said. I buried my face in his chest, I was too embarrassed.
"But what?" He asked in a sweet voice.
"I um…am not…" I squirmed a little, "whole." I said in the best voice I could muster but I'm sure it was small and mousy. I was so nervous. Maybe he wouldn't want me anymore. Maybe he'd no longer love me.
"That doesn't matter to me." He said and I looked back up at him. "I love you."
I let out a sigh of relief as he tilted my face up to look at him and place a kiss on my lips.
"I love you too. I-I want t-to be with you Aidan."
He kissed me again as he slowly started undressing me.
"Are you sure Ari?" Aidan asked as he pulled away slowly.
I was blushing just laying naked under him.
"Y-yes." I say.
"You're certain? I won't be able to stop halfway through Ari."
"I know…I want to."
I thought it would hurt so I closed my eyes.
"I won't hurt you Ari. Please open your eyes." He whispered.
I gingerly open my eyes and looked up at him. I braced myself as he started. There was a pressure, but it didn't hurt. I let out the breath I was holding as he caressed my side.
"I want you to feel good too." He said in a ginger, caring voice.
My attention shifted from the stars back to him and I smiled.
"So I'll take it slow."
This was nothing like the pain and friction I had experienced a few years before. He held me close and touched me sweetly as he made love to me. As I started to enjoy myself, noises started to escape from my lips.
"Are you ok?" He asked after we'd finished.
I nodded and snuggled up to him. He kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms tighter around me. "No regrets?"
"N-no. None." I say and hug him tighter. "I want to stay like this forever."
"W-we can."
"What do you mean?"
"We could run away together." He said.
"W-what?"
"And get married." He said.
"Where would we go?"
"It doesn't matter, as long as I could be with you, I would go anywhere."
"I…let's do it." I said with a smile.
"T-then w-we can meet here tomorrow at our usual time." He said nervously.
"O-ok." I said and nodded.
That was the happiest day of my life. I skipped all the way home. I was so excited I could barely sleep. Of course when I got to our spot the next day he wasn't there. I waited all day but he didn't show. I looked for him all evening but couldn't find him.
I asked everyone in town if they'd seen him but no one had. I went back to our spot for days but still nothing. I didn't see him again for six more years.
I realized how foolish I was – a 14-year old girl in love after only two weeks? I thought about how pathetic I had been, head over heels for the first boy who looked my way with love. I assumed he had only used me for food and sex then left town.
I had heard someone had stolen something from the market – I assumed it was him, that after he had gotten what he wanted he stole something to sell to move to the next town.
I thought no one loved me after all. My brother joined the military and left shortly after. I didn't leave my room for days, consumed in despair. I wanted to die.
*****