Loola's clutch looked just like all of the others that were laid, only that her eggs were larger on average. None of the eggs had a tint to them, they were all stark white.
Loola held her head outside of the stable while the rest of her body was curled around the still soft eggs in her bedding. As MeiAnne approached she swung her head swiftly, until their eyes met. Loola lowered her head to MeiAnne, rumbling softly for a moment, before returning to her original position.
"That means she trusts you." Raba's voice came from within the stable.
Loola's stable looked like a plus-sized version of all the others. She had her tail curled tightly around her clutch, but she wasn't touching any of them. The eggs were still very soft in their shells, several of them were leaning into another causing them to look deformed slightly.
Raba was trying to separate the eggs so they could harden correctly, but Loola was giving him trouble. If he leaned in too far she would jerk the side of her tail to push him away.
"Although she hasn't let me near the eggs yet." He looked angry as he stood up from the most recent push he received.
"Others haven't had to deal with that. Does she think something's wrong?"
"She lays a lot of eggs but only a few have actually made it to hatch in the past couple of years."
"Do you think-"
"It's not because she's some mutant." Raba snapped, interrupting her.
MeiAnne was caught off guard, and clearly her face didn't hide it.
Raba sighed. "I'm sorry. Every time she only has a handful hatch I have to hear that from the other officers."
MeiAnne stayed quiet. Instead she turned to face the eggs. It didn't sit right with her that he snapped like that, but she didn't want to push. He was clearly tired and already frustrated.
As she looked closely she could already see that some of the eggs did look more deflated than the others. Those must not have a future hatchling inside at all.
MeiAnne heard Loola growl softly before turning her body back inside. Raba had to pull MeiAnne back quickly as Loola adjusted her body to lay beside the clutch and curl both her neck and tail around.
Even if dragons don't have as many muscles for facial expressions, it was easy to see Loola was stressed. Her face was tense and rigid, and her eyes were focused on nothing in particular. Her unsuccessful clutches have clearly been a long time occurrence, and something she did not like.
"I think I'm going to call it a day here and get back to some paperwork I've still got to catch up on." MeiAnne stood, still not sure if she wanted to be around a stressed Raba and Loola.
"I-... Okay."
As MeiAnne headed back, she couldn't help but dwell on it. She rarely saw him snap at anyone unless they deserved it. Mostly it had been Yulan or Yama that he snapped at. Did she do something wrong? No. She couldn't entertain that thought.
She made her way back to the officers building leisurely. She wasn't in a hurry as there actually wasn't much work she had to do. It was a by-product of Raba requesting her help so often, none of the supervisors could trust her with a full workload. It was embarrassing after a while. She felt like none of what she could do was enough here.
The only one that she had truly felt she didn't fail over and over was Molis, but that didn't last. She was very grateful that Raba was giving her a second chance, but it was moments like that which caused her to wonder just how much she actually deserved it. His actions are clearly favoritism. MeiAnne hadn't put much thought into how that made her feel before, but now she was left wondering why she accepted.
She wouldn't think the same way in every moment. Yet, she would feel the doubt creeping up on her when she was weakest. Sometimes that would mean while she was in bed or other times while working at her desk. She thankfully could ignore them while she was around others, and Gen and Raba could help her forget entirely.
Maybe, just maybe, a new dragon was a good thing. Dread and doubt made it hard to believe that anymore, and grief was a hurdle she had yet to cross.
She still hadn't been told what they did with Molis' remains either. As she thought about what could've become of her former partner her mind filled with images.
The most peaceful image was of mounds scattering a field where dragons had been buried as if they were sacred. Another was of a raging fire, dragons bodies piled high as they turned to cinder and ash. The last haunted MeiAnne all the way through the night.
Molis laying there, unmoved. Her beautiful blue scales covered in settled dust and blood. Slowly beetles and flies were scurrying over her body as the colors faded to purples, blacks, and greens with rot. Her eyes were glassy before turning into orange fog that was eaten away by insects. Her body bloated and swelled before deflating and decomposing all in MeiAnnes head.
Even though her eyes were open and she knew she was staring at the dark ceiling above her head, all she could see was the image of Molis left to rot in the field. It repeated and replayed endlessly despite how tired MeiAnne usually was.
MeiAnne didn't have tears to shed that night, but she wondered the next morning if her chest would feel lighter if she did.