Tuesday evening's tour and reacquaintance with Marvin went very well. I would be moving into a moderately sized guest room with a twin bed, small closet, and dresser. Smaller than Wam's guest room, but still plenty big for me and my meager belongings. Tuesday night I packed up and placed my things by the door, so I was ready to leave Wednesday.
I slept well Tuesday night, but woke up Wednesday morning feeling very ambiguous about my decision to move out. I had fallen for Wam and I was going to miss him so much. I had to remind myself that was the very reason I had to leave. Staying may be best for me, but leaving was best for Wam and his career.
I placed my stuff in the cab of the truck and walked back into the house to leave a note for Wam. I knew he was going to be upset when he found the note, but I had no other choice. I placed a sealed envelope on my pillow addressed to "Dr. Wambleeska Teton". The note inside said:
Wam:
I cannot thank you enough for all you've done for me. You helped me through one of the toughest times of my life. You allowed me to have precious time with my brother when we were unsure if he would make it through his trauma. You gave me a bedroom in your cabin, set up a grant so I had money to survive, and most importantly, you gave me emotional support when I needed it most. You were a perfect gentleman and I couldn't have asked for a better guardian angel.
I'm sorry I didn't say good bye, but I knew you would try to talk me out of leaving. I didn't want to leave, but I know Dr. Adams is trying to make it look like you crossed some boundary and you didn't. Even when I tried to come on to you, you refused my advances until after my brother was discharged.
I cannot let Dr. Adams's cruelty and jealousy mess with your medical license. You are too good a doctor and you help too many people. I'm not selfish enough to stay and let all those people miss out on your expertise. May God bless you with good health, love, and a long future ahead.
Sincerely,
All my love,
Kynlee Knutson
P.S. Please don't contact me. This is hard enough already.
As I left the envelope on the pillow with my key inside and left the house for the last time, I had silent tears running down my face. I knew Aggie would be coming soon and wanted to be gone before she arrived. I left a sealed envelope with a letter for Aggie in the kitchen as well, before I left for good.
I pulled into Jane and Marvin's driveway just as the sun was rising. I sat in my truck and cried for several minutes before I took deep breaths and pulled myself back together. I was here to help this wonderful couple and for Wam's good.
I needed to leave my personal problems at the door, no matter how difficult that would be. I entered the side door, next to the staircase that led to the second floor, where my bedroom was located. I took one load up and came down for the rest. As I reached for the door handle, I heard a feminine voice say, "Kynlee, I thought I heard you. Good morning!"
I tried not to turn around and make eye contact because I didn't want Jane to see my tear stained face and bloodshot eyes. "Good morning Jane. I'm just moving my stuff in upstairs. I'm almost done," I replied in as cheery a voice as I could manage. I slipped back out the door, grabbed the rest of my belongings, pressed lock on the truck's key fob, and slipped back into the house intending to go upstairs.
Jane didn't take the hint I was not wanting to talk. I was trying to move my things in silence, without human interaction. When I reentered the house and pushed the door closed with my butt, Jane was standing with her arms draped over the banister at the bottom of the staircase. Movement caught my attention and I looked up and met her eyes briefly, but it was enough for her to see my distressed state. "I thought your voice sounded shaky. Please set those down," Jane requested. I didn't really want to, but she said 'please', so I did. Jane held her arms out and said, "now come here."
Jane engulfed me in the kind of hug that surrounds you in love and goes straight to your heart. Against my will, the tears started to flow again and I sobbed with my head on Jane's chest and her arms wrapping me in what felt like understanding and safety. I had missed this kind of affection since my parents passed, and here Jane was giving it freely. It made me both happy and sad at the same time. I could see why Jane and my mother were so close. They were both caring, giving, and understanding of others. "Don't you ever put on a happy face for my benefit Kynlee. I want the truth." She stroked my back as she held me and I cried. "Even if I hadn't asked yesterday, I'd have known you love him just by seeing you today," she verbalized and kissed my forehead.
"Thank you Jane," I cleared my throat and continued, "I'm sorry for the meltdown. What I've noticed is that it's easier to keep my emotions in check when I'm being independent and working full steam ahead. When I have support and time to think I'm much more emotional. Almost like being cared about makes me weak…" I laugh and shake my head, "or something like that. Again, thank you though."
"Of course honey. We are like family and help each other out. I need to be leaving for work, but I'll be back tonight after 4:30PM."
"Did you take anything out for supper tonight?" I asked as she was donning her jacket for the office. Jane shook her head. "Is it okay if I make supper for about 5PM?"
"If you'd like, but Kynlee, I wasn't planning on you starting tonight," Jane replied.
"You don't have to pay me tonight. I just like to cook. It won't take me long to unpack two containers. I'll pull something together and try to have it ready about 5PM. I'll ask Marvin about likes, dislikes, and allergies. Have a good day Jane."
She smiled, nodded, and went out the door. I took my belongings up to my room and unpacked.
Around lunch time I emerged and found Marvin in the kitchen moving around and talking to himself. I said, "Good afternoon Marvin," as I walked in so I didn't startle him.
He turned and smiled, "hello Kynlee." Marvin had a great smile, but his skin although tanned from late summer yard work, appeared pale. I had heard him coughing and I'd come see if he needed help.
"Can I help you find anything for lunch?"
"You aren't suppose to start until tomorrow," he replied to my request, but sounded out of breath. "I was thinking…sandwiches. And. Soup…."
"Make you a deal. You sit down and I'll make us some sandwiches and soup. Then we can eat together. It's the least I can do for you letting me stay here. I'm grateful," I smiled as I patted his back and hooked my arm through Marvin's and led him to the table. He sat without argument and tried to control his breathing through pursed lips.
It dawned on me that Jane had said something on our tour about nebulizer treatments and I thought he may eat better if he had one first. "Can I get you a nebulizer treatment while I cook lunch?"
Marvin nodded and pointed to the end cupboard. When I opened it, it was loaded with medications. Upon closer examination, the bottom shelf was aerosols and the second shelf was oral medications.
I read the label that said, "for shortness of breath, rescue medication". I grabbed a vial, assembled the neb cup, squirted it in, attached the mask to the cup, and took it over to Marvin who was sitting near the neb machine. I attached the tubing, assured the machine was plugged in, and turned it on. A mist started forming inside the mask, and within a few breaths, Marvin was breathing just a bit easier and coughing less.
I opened two cans of soup, made three sandwiches, and took it to the table. I then grabbed two large glasses of water and set one in front of each of us. I grabbed spoons and napkins and sat to the side of Marvin at their six seat, oak, oblong table and chairs, in a dining room at the far end of the kitchen. The nebulizer treatment was finished in the twenty minutes it took me to prepare lunch, so Marvin took it off to eat. "You look a little better now Marvin," I said with a friendly smile.
"Yes, thank you. Please call me Marve. Mr. or Marvin or sir, are too formal in my own home.
"Yes ss.. I mean Marve."
We ate and I cleaned up the kitchen before helping Marve get settled in the living room in his recliner. Within minutes he was asleep sitting up. I could see why he was taking time off work. Yes, Jane most definitely needed someone at home with Marve during the day. In his weak state, if he fell, I doubt he could get up or get to a phone to call for help. I felt much better about being here and helping to make a difference. Again I thought about nursing school, but it was just a pipe dream. I'd stay here as long as Jane and Marve needed help and then hopefully I'd have a great reference for another job.
I started supper and placed it in the oven as Marve napped. On moderate heat, the small frozen roast, potatoes, carrots, onions, and cabbage should be done around 5PM. I added some water and onion soup mix for flavor. A delicious but nice and easy meal for several people.
After supper I went to my room for the night and was reading a book. I heard a knock and replied, "come in."
Jane opened the door and came in. She gestured to the end of the bed and said, "mind if I sit?"
"Of course not," I said with a smile. I pulled my knees up to my chest to make plenty of room.
"I'm glad to see you got settled. I just wanted to thank you for helping Marve today and for making supper. I can already see you'll be worth your weight in gold. I'm happy to have you here Kynlee," Jane praised and stood to hug me before leaving.
All I could do was smile. Other than Wam, I wasn't used to getting positive comments. I had to admit it felt pretty good and hoped to continue doing a good job for Jane and Marve. Just the thought of Wam brought tears to my eyes. I knew my note wouldn't sit well with him, but I felt I had little choice.