I was shocked, what was he talking about? Did I dare ask for clarification? Could I dare not ask for clarification? Finally curiosity won out and I asked, "Wha..what does that mean exactly? You hope that part of your life is over now?"
Now that he has bed me, he can move on to someone who he can marry and settle down with and start a family. This is exactly what I was afraid of. Before he could answer, I sat up straight, nearly hitting his head with mine and covered myself with the sheet. I refused to lay naked and cuddle with a man who would throw me away like a used facial tissue!
As I moved to stand, his huge, strong hand grabbed my forearm, "Lee, where are you going?"
I could feel my eyes burn with tears but I didn't pull hard enough to free my arm. I wanted to be close to Wam, but my heart was breaking as I sat here thinking about the future. "Wam, I'm going to my room. We can forget tonight ever happened, and return to being friends. You can find yourself a wife, have 2.3 kids, and live in a beautiful house in the suburbs. You'll live your happily ever after and I'll pretend to be happy for you." I stood up and this time did pull my arm free as I headed for the door with his bedsheet wrapped around me and dragging on the floor behind me .
Wam must have also gotten up, because I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders from the back and pull me against his chest. I felt him rest his head on top of mine and couldn't prevent the tears any longer. Wam must have heard the sob I tried to hold back. He stepped around in front of me and tipped my chin up, wiping my tears with his thumbs. "Kynlee," the name he only said when he was trying to calm me or what he said was very serious and important. "What upset you? Why are you crying?"
Finally I looked up and met Wam's deep brown eyes that appeared to be serious and filled with concern. "You're telling me you didn't think the fact you want to move on with someone else would hurt me Wambleeska, after what we just shared?" I sobbed out the word 'shared' and my shoulders began to shake with my release of emotion.
"Oh Lee…maybe I didn't say it correctly. I wasn't trying to upset you." His brows were furrowed, his lips drawn in a tight line, and he looked distraught, but why? Before I could ask, he continued, "I know you're young, but I want to see where this goes with you. I don't want to date anyone else. Now that I'm officially no longer Kedron's Consulting Neurosurgeon, I can date you and I won't get in trouble anymore. We don't have to hide it."
I looked at his face and he appeared sincere as he stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Really Wam…" I asked in surprise, "you want to date…me?"
Wam gave a small smile and nodded. "How can you not see how much I care about you? I've never
let anyone stay in my home like this before. I enjoy your company, and somehow you've broken through the wall I had put around my heart to protect myself. I've been immune to every woman in the last twelve years Lee, but I'm not immune to you."
I threw my arms around Wam's neck and hugged him tight, almost knocking him over with my momentum. He returned my hug and rubbed my back as I continued to cry. Only this time, they were happy tears. "I tried..so hard Wam..not to fall for you. It didn't matter… what I did though, each day… I care more about…you," I said in between sobs. I took a couple calming breaths but enjoyed the feel of Wam's strong arms wrapped around me and his firm chest supporting my head. Most definitely, I was falling in love with this man. How could this happen now? Now when I need to focus on getting a job, finding an accessible apartment, and learning to care for Kedron. Now when I don't really have the time or the energy to invest in a relationship? Fate was a cruel bitch sometimes.
Eventually Wam led me back to the bed and we sat down with him holding my hand. "We need to get one thing straight though Lee," he paused until I looked in his direction. Once he had my attention, he continued, "when I say or do something to upset you, and no matter how hard I try, it'll happen, I need you to promise to talk to me instead of running away. Can you please promise me, we will always try to talk things out?" I nodded, but evidently that wasn't enough. "I want to hear you say it please."
I held my palm up like I'd seen done so many times in television shows when I was younger and I recited, "I, Kynlee Knutson promise that as long as we are a couple, I will talk to you when something bothers me. I will come to you instead of running away." I put my hand down and smiled, "is that good enough?" Wam smiled and nodded. I threw his words back at him, "I want to hear you say it please."
Wam laughed, but then sobered and held his right hand up as I had. Before he started his recitation though, he held up his left palm before facing it downward toward the floor. When I realized he was pretending to put his hand on a Bible, I laughed and lightly pushed his shoulder. His seriousness broke into a smile briefly before he cleared his throat and said, "I, Wambleeska Teton, accept your pledge and pledge my own commitment to you Kynlee Knutson. I pledge to talk to you when something bothers me, to always try to make you happy, to treat you with respect, and yes Lee, you are enough."
That was the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a year and a half. This man was going to shatter my heart if this didn't work out. I was such a pessimist. I'd just have to do my best to see it did work out. As the saying goes, "failure is NOT an option!"
"Thank you Wam," I said and moved to give him a peck on the cheek. Wam must had seen what was coming, because he turned his head my way. I didn't see him turn his head until our lips met and I was staring in his dark chocolate eyes. I closed my eyes, leaned into the kiss, and slid my fingers on both hands around the nape of his neck. Unconsciously, I started to play with his hair again. This was becoming a habit every time I kissed Wam. I could only hope he liked it as much as I did.
Something rubbed against my leg and I jumped and gave a high pitched, "eeeppp!" Only then did I realize it felt soft. Of course then I remembered Sammy was here with Wam. In answer to my loud noise when I startled, a "roooww," that vibrates at the end, was announcing Sammy's presence. She was looking up at me with wide eyes and a slightly tilted head before she wove back under the sheet and rubbed on my shin again.
Wam started to laugh when he saw the sheet moving, "I see you made just as much of an impression on Sammy as you did on me."
I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but I assume it was a good thing since he was smiling. The sun was long gone and Wam yawned, so I asked, "are you ready for bed?"
Was smiled and nodded, "but only if you're coming to bed with me. By the way, I usually sleep naked," he said as he kissed my neck. It tickled and I giggled before twirling away and leaving him holding the sheet as I climbed on the bed and pulled the comforter up to my chin.
Wam's face broke out into a huge smile and he crawled back into bed, under the covers, next to me. His arm snaked around my waist and he kissed my temple. "I like you in my bed Lee," he growled in a deep, husky, bedroom voice.
I glance at him from under my long, dark eyelashes, "I like it too. I feel safe and cared for when I'm in your arms."
"I'm glad to hear that, cuz that's exactly how I want you to feel with me," he replied. "I got distracted earlier and forgot to brush my teeth. Care to join me?"
"Ah shoot, my toothbrush is upstairs," I answered.
"Ah, but I have an extra. It's brand new and all yours if you'd like it?"
"Yes please. I don't feel like running upstairs right now," I admitted sheepishly.
Wam threw the covers back and we walked into the bathroom. We were still naked, but somehow I didn't feel self conscious. Maybe because Wam made me feel 'beautiful' like he always called me? Or maybe because he was so comfortable with his own nudity that I didn't mind either? Whatever the reason, it felt good to just be myself, be accepted, and to feel…loved.
I looked up and met his gaze in the mirror as I brushed my teeth at his side. I couldn't help but smile, but that made toothpaste foam out my mouth and I had to spit in the sink. I started laughing from embarrassment.
"What's so funny? Keeping secrets from me are we?" He asked with a smile after he spit in the sink himself.
Shaking my head, I explained, "I was laughing because I smiled at you and toothpaste started to dribble from my mouth. When I get embarrassed, I get the giggles sometimes. No secrets and no joke," I explained with a shrug.
Wam nodded as he finished brushing his teeth, and rinsed his mouth with a Dixie cup he pulled from the dispenser on the side of the counter. I finished brushing and also rinsed my mouth. When finished, I washed out the sink, washed my face with a washcloth, then hung it to dry.
Wam stood and waited patiently until I was finished. Together we walked back to the bed. He held up the comforter for me to climb in, he turned off the lamp, and climbed in behind me. We were nestled in like a couple of spoons. With all our activity, cuddled in safely with Wam, it took little time for me to fall asleep.