I slept my usual amount, about six hours before I was wide awake. I'd always been this way, once I'm awake, I cannot go back to sleep. I couldn't help but wonder how Kynlee slept and if Kedron made it through the night. I really needed to try to let this girl go. It could have a very negative impact on my career, and I've worked too hard for that to happen.
Throwing back the covers, I used the bathroom and freshened up. Within 30 minutes I was dressed, fresh coffee via my gourmet coffee pot in hand, and I was driving back to the hospital. Once parked in my V.I.P. parking spot, I donned my white coat and official name tag, and headed for the ICU.
The halls were so peaceful this time of day. I could completely understand why people chose to work night shift. Too bad I'm a morning person.
Other than the whirring and beeping of machines, there was a quiet buzz at the nurse's station. This was not always the case since these particular patients were amongst the most unstable in the hospital. It was always a positive thing to see nurses sitting down to chart instead of running from one room to the next like someone's life depended on it. Heck, in this unit, that could very well be the case.
I took a seat at a computer in the alcove next to the room the physicians met in before rounds to check up on my consults from the day before. Amazingly, they all seemed to hold their own during the night. This was why I became a neurosurgeon. Knowing that my skill and my knowledge, coupled with God's will could save people, was the best high in the world. To keep myself humble, I reminded myself often that I was simply a tool, an extension of the creator himself to help others.
Doctors began to enter the room next door to prepare for bedside report. I was startled when a small hand touched my shoulder just seconds before I heard a familiar feminine voice next to my ear. "Good morning Wam. It's a pleasure seeing you again this morning."
"Good morning Dr. Adams," I replied in my best professional voice. I tried my best since the one time a year ago we'd had sex, to put Kelly Adams back in the 'friend' box, but she tried just as hard to remain overly friendly.
I felt a tickle on my ear and then a cold wet sensation. "Kelly, did you just lick my ear? How many times have we talked about being professional at work?" I wiped my wet ear and turn my head toward her with a stern glare plastered on my face. The kind of look I give a naive resident when they'd done something stupid.
Upon seeing the look on my face, Dr. Kelly Adams straightened up and held her hands up apologetically. She smiles and smooths back an invisible errant stray hair. "Some days Wam, you are just irresistible," Dr. Adams whispered in her most sultry voice.
"Oh come on Dr. Adams," I placed emphasis on the 'Doctor Adams' part. "There is no such thing. We are Physicians... no even more....we are specialists because we have the work ethic and self control to make it happen. So don't tell me you cannot control yourself."
Kelly begins to nod and clasps her hand in front her abdomen before speaking. "You're right Wam. I'm sorry. We agreed it was a one time thing. I guess I enjoyed it so much I just wanted another slice of that delicious...caramel drizzled...pie. Feel free to join us for bedside rounds in ten minutes if you'd like, Dr. Teton." With that, Kelly turned on her heel and fled into the room.
As I sat there, watching her walk away with my eyes wide, mouth agape, I couldn't help but chuckle softly to myself. "Touché Dr. Adams. We didn't get where we are without the ability to be relentless. Touché." I closed out the computer, rolled the desk chair in, and entered the 'report room'.
Watching Dr. Adams command the room as a professional, no one would ever believe it. Kelly Adams Is a freak between the sheets. In one night, she introduced me to things I'd never heard of. Honestly, by the end of that one night, I knew I'd made a mistake. I was a little scared of the amount of crazy she let loose, if I'm being honest. I vowed that morning when she left me with scratches down my back, flogging marks on my thighs, and hickies all over my chest, I was not going to cross that line with her again. She had accepted the news with Grace, but every so often, she attempts to come onto me again. Then I remind her and she is professional again for a while before coming into me again.
In my defense, I had lost a young patient that day, and I'd had too much to drink. Kelly Adams was right there to pick up the pieces and help me to work the grief out of my system. I have a bit of a dark streak, but my darkness cannot hold a candle to the craziness I saw that night.
Within minutes we were doing rounds. We started with room 1112 and found Kynlee talking with Kedron's nurse. For some reason the nurse looked uncomfortable when we walked in.
While Dr. Adams chastised one of her residents, I did an assessment of Kedron's neurological system. I was pleasantly surprised he had not deteriorated further during the night. Kynlee looked tired and sad. It made me want to hold her and comfort her again. Of course that could not happen with a room full of other physicians. I reminded myself that I'd be better off if I walked away. Something inside of me yearned to not only hold her, but protect her, and provide for her. The fact she had no one to care for her left an empty feeling in my chest.
A beautiful, young, innocent, naive, sexy as hell woman such as Kynlee should not have to fight so hard to survive. When she met my eyes, I could see all the pain and struggle she'd been through. She appeared to have an old soul. It was like she had seen and experienced things most nineteen year olds don't even think about. Difficult to explain, I felt as though her soul called to mine. I don't believe in fate, but if I did, Kynlee would fit the Bill.
My life is all about control. I do everything in my power to keep emotion at bay. The few times I've let emotion take over and cloud my judgment, I haven't liked the consequences of my behavior. No, my emotions need to stay tucked away somewhere deep inside where no one else can reach them.
Kynlee looked slightly relieved as I watched her after the resident Dr. Adams had called on have recited exactly the plan of care we had outlined yesterday when we had noticed the swell in the right temporal lobe and confirmed the cervical fracture and spinal cord injury. None of which was good news.
As we finished up and readied to exit the room, I felt the need to talk to Kedron again and continue to encourage him through his recovery journey. He was obviously a fighter, and that fighting spirit would pull him through this major trial in his life.
In that moment, good intentions to keep this family at bay, I came up with a plan to be there for them. No matter what that takes. I would do anything I could to give Kedron the best quality of life possible, but Kynlee would have to agree to be mine.
Did that make me a bastard? Probably. Would it prevent me from offering her and her brother a better life in which they were under my care and my authority? Absolutely not. Kynlee would be mine one way or another. It was only a matter of time. My good intentions and morals be damned!
After rounds, I returned to Kedron's room to find Kynlee sitting at his bedside holding his hand. I could hear her talking to her brother about the latest news she was reading on her phone. I couldn't help but smile at the love I could feel emanating from her toward her brother. What I wouldn't give to feel that love directed toward me. I needed to tread carefully so she didn't end up hating me.
I took a step back into the hallway to take a couple deep breaths before I announced my presence. "Oh excuse me," said a short plump woman that scooted past to knock on the door. "Good morning," she said as she entered the room. "My name is Anita and I'm from insurance and billing. I've come to collect insurance information and guarantor information."
I could hear Kynlee respond through the now ajar door, "umm, my brother doesn't have any insurance. He just started this job a month ago."
"Oh, well... who will be responsible for his expenses then? Can I get your parent's information?" Asked them secretary with the iPad and clipboard.
"Our parents are deceased," Kynlee said in a meek voice. "Can I be his guarantor? I'm his only living relative."
"Well, why don't I take down your information and your brothers and we will go from there?" I didn't hear a response, so I can only assume she nodded because they exchanged information as I took note of Kynlee and Kedron's address. Evidently they lived in a low income apartment building.
"This construction job was supposed to be our chance to get a nicer place. I had no idea it was so dangerous. Kedron never told me he was roofing." Kynlee's voice cracked on the last word and I decided she'd had enough, as I knocked while entering.
"Okay, well I think I have what I need for now. I'll send the Social Worker in to discuss financial options with you then." The secretary left with that parting comment.
Hands in my lab coat pockets, I watched as Kynlee sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye as she said, "don't you worry Kedron. We will figure this out. You just get better."
Yes, I would do whatever it takes to make her mine!