Jaxon slept even worse that night, most of the time spent going over the events of the day.
Lunch hadn't been as horrifying as he had been expecting and that was thankfully because Leon didn't show up like he occasionally did, Darian had a calming aura so with time he relaxed into the routine of eating with the other.
He was largely in knots over his date with Leon, Virgil had easily agreed to him taking the weekend off and he was a little worried that the Alpha would use this opportunity to make him take all weekends off.
He didn't fall asleep till the early parts of the morning and was awake on the first ring of his alarm, it was far too early to be up for a date that wasn't till much later but he would have woken up whether his alarm rang or not.
Jaxon trudged to the bathroom unsurprised to see visible dark circles under his eyes again, he looked more like himself now but he had never felt so far from himself.
There was so much going on in so little time and he just didn't know what to do with it all.
Sighing, he brushed his teeth and wrapped a furry bathrobe around himself to get coffee for himself so he could watch the sun rise while waking up his brain at the same time.
He made his way out of the room to the balcony, it was early on a Saturday so no one was out in the hallways yet which was just fine, he couldn't handle human interaction just then.
He carried his large mug of coffee along with him pretending to be sipping wine at sundown instead of the direct opposite.
~*~
Leon was in an even worse state, he had thought that asking Jaxie out on a date would have been the hardest part of the whole thing but ohh he had never been more wrong.
After leaving Jaxie's office, he had been on cloud nine like a kid who's crush accepted to be his prom date.
Then it hit, just what the fuck was he supposed to do on a date?
He wanted to make it official enough and fancy too but he had never been interested in spending that much time around a person before and it took Darian's appearance in their lives for him to realise that the only person he ever wanted to take out on a date was his best friend.
He almost wished he had gotten his shit together before Darian came on the scene because then he wouldn't have to share any bit of Jaxie with anyone.
Leon had immediately gone into panic mode, going to look for his twin to drag into his problem.
Ian had not been in his office when he got there so he settled in to wait for him, not long after Ian had showed up, not surprised at all to find his twin brother waiting for him.
The conversation after had gone like.
"Don't put your grubby legs up on my desk." He had smacked his brother's leg off.
"He told you?" Leon sat up quickly.
"Yeah." Ian muttered, settling back in his seat nonchalantly.
"Well?" He prodded, looking expectantly.
Ian glanced briefly at him. "Well, what?"
"What was he like?"
Ian narrowed his eyes and his twin. "You care about that?"
"Don't make me sound like a jerk." Leon deflated.
His twin shrugged. "When have you not been."
Leon winced, he could understand Ian's reaction, considering his past. Ian had never batted an eyelid at him but he knew his brother hadn't been the biggest fan of his activities.
"I don't need to tell you what will happen to you if you fuck this up right." Ian added, seeming almost upset.
"Ian, I'm not the type to make a lengthy speech on how much I've changed so feel free to gut me if I do." Leon said with sincerity, meaning every one of his words.
Ian had looked surprised at this, his wide eyes appraising Leo, whatever he saw must have convinced him because all of the tension bled out of his shoulders and he sighed. "Fine, whatever, now why are you in my office?"
Leon averted his eyes sheepishly. "I don't know how to set up a date…"
Ian's response hadn't been pretty but his ever capable twin had swiftly come up with a full day plan that easily impressed Leon, his twin didn't really have to do much to impress him anyway so his help had been mind blowing.
Now even with the plans for the date all set out, reservations made, routes mapped out, Leon couldn't still rid himself of his nervousness.
It made him itchy and antsy, pacing around the length of his room for the rest of the day.
He could not even bring himself to face Darian, much more Jaxie.
Why did people want to go on dates anyway if it just made them nervous as fuck or was it just him?
He doubted that Jaxie was this bothered, he probably thought it was just Leon being his impulsive self and that should be good but his brain kept overthinking about things that shouldn't even matter.
He had slept far too early trying to escape from his anxious thoughts like, what would they say to each other? Was he allowed to hold Jaxie's hand? Would he come off as a dick if he tried to initiate a kiss? Why were there no manuals for these things?
Sleeping early had only been a temporary remedy, he was already awake again hours before dawn and in a worse mental state.
His stomach was twisted in knots and he could not even go back to sleep, alcohol was out of the question only a couple hours before his first date.
Coffee made him depressed so hot chocolate it was with marshmallows dancing in the dark liquid.
Sleeping half naked was a necessity because he always slept with thick blankets and air conditioning made him uncomfortable, that didn't mean he fancied the cold.
He was uninterested in getting clothes from his closet so he just lazily bundled his blankets around him and waddled to the kitchen, folds of the material trailing on the cold floor behind him.
He continued his journey after leaving the kitchen, heading outside his apartment to his favourite spot, the secluded balcony.
His apartment was the last occupied one before it so it was just him trudging slowly through silent hallways.
He had forgotten to take some of his piercings out before bed because he had fallen asleep unexpectedly.
So there he was at 3 am with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands, his blankets bundled around him as he settled in on the bench, having a mini existential crisis.