The same scenario keeps on happening to me. First, I will go to sleep. Second, I will dream a dream that will make me feel miserable, sad, angry, confused. Third, I woke up and I will write it all down, and then it will repeat. That's my constant scenario every day!
I feel like I'm going crazy!
But I haven't seen the man in my dreams for the Gods know how many weeks I spent in the search for him. I don't even know why would I want to see him and yet I keep searching and hoping that I would spot him in my dreams.
Maybe he is just a random guy that stumbled into my dreams and there is nothing much more from it. Maybe it's because of my imagination that a man who doesn't know how to say sorry to the one he bumped appeared in my dreams.
Well, I don't know!
Night came and I saw myself surrounded by meadows and trees, the wind was warm as the rays of the sunlight. I look around and saw woman's… sitting around, walking around but no one talking to each other, they were just minding their business but then I squinted my eyes when I saw some of them weeping in grief as they sat on the grassy meadows.
I can hear their screams, sobs, and I feel like I'm hurting also, that I could feel how they feel while they weep. I stood there while watching the woman around me sobs not knowing what to do or what to say to them but they don't seem to see me or maybe they just don't care about me being here?
But my two eyes narrowed when I saw someone, sticking out like a sore thumb. A man, walking around with no emotions plastered on his face as he walks and surveyed the surrounding. I covered my mouth when I realized look familiar to me as he got a little closer to where I was.
My two eyes widened as I realized who it was! It was the man! I don't know his name but that's him!
There's the man that I've been curious about and the one that I have been looking for!
Before I could fix myself and recover from the shock and panic, he already saw me and our eyes met. I could see that a little shock registered in his two eyes but it also disappeared immediately.
"What are you doing here?" He asked when he got close to me.
"You're here too but did I ask you what are you doing here?" I said and I couldn't help to have a mean tone and he chuckled.
"I asked you pleasingly yet you bestowed a bad approach." He chuckled.
I just kept my mouth shut and fell silent as I looked at him while his eyes fixed on somewhere.
"You're in the fields of mourning..." "He told me which made forehead frowned. What does he mean?
"A field reserves for the soul whom waisted their existence on unrequited love." He narrated to me.
Unrequited love?
My forehead furrowed.
"This is where love-sick women retire and not even on their demise have they forgot their griefs of long ago. How pitiful." He said and look at me. "This is where they wander in the paths of unseen as the gloomy darkness surrounds them." He added.
What does he mean?
"Since you're here, are you grieving about your unrequited love too?" He added a question.
"N-no!" I was taken aback by his sudden question for unknown reasons.
"Then why are you here?"
"I told you I'm lost!" I said with a tone.
"You told me that when we met? That's a long time ago yet you're still astray?" He raised his eyebrow.
"That's none of your business," I said and crossed my arms. "Do you have a problem with me being here? Then why are you here?" I countered back.
"I have duties to fulfill," he answered me.
What duties?
I wanted to ask him that but he might answer me 'that's none of your business since he looks likes once you did it to him, he will do it back to you.
and then he started walking away from me, "Wait! Where are you going !?" I asked.
He turned to me. "I told you, I have duties to fulfill."
Goddammit! I just saw him now and then he leaves again! What if I never see him again!?
I don't know why do I get so worked up about him.
Should I ask him if I can see him again?
But why would I ask him that!?
He might think that I'm a strange person that is already attached to him!
But...
Fine! This is now or never!
"Will I see you again!?" I shouted and he stops walking.
He just stood there, without looking back at me while I was blushing because of the embarrassment I felt and what I told him. But right! This is now or never!
He turned to me and opened his mouth and spoke with a grin on his lips. "Do you wanna come with me?"
I was surprised when he suddenly invited me.
"S-sure!" I answered him immediately even though I was blushing and surprised at his sudden invitation to and did not hesitate to agree to his sudden invitation of me because this is now or never.
And then he walked again and I walked too but I got a hard time catching up to him for he is walking fast. What is this! He invited me and he then looks like he will leave me here because he walking so fast!?
I walked even faster so I could catch up with him.
"W-wait!" I said all breathily for I was catching my breath.
I look around and it looks like we are in a different place right now, "Can you please walk slow? Are trying to kill me from exhaustion?" I said while catching my breath.
"You can make use of it as a physical activity." He replied with a smug look.
"I hope you stumble as you walk," I whispered to myself in annoyance at his attitude while rolling my eyes.
I don't know why I went with him but I feel it's the right thing to do. I don't know, I just feel it.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"We're just going to walk around." He replied and I nodded while looking at him.
On a closer look, he does look handsome. As if the Gods molded him wholeheartedly. With his jet black hair and its length that would almost pass his shoulder. He had gray eyes but his eyes look bored but also looks deadly at the same.
it's like his soul ran away from him, you know that? he doesn't seem to radiate a living aura. He looks dead inside. I can't help but feel pity for unknown reasons, a thought pop into my mind that what if he is sad and has no one else for him?
But even though he is like that, he is terrifyingly handsome and looks deadly.
"Say, why do you keep staring?" He said and looks straight into my eyes.
I was surprised when our eyes met. I felt the gradual warming of my two cheeks but I immediately shake that feeling off. Not in front of him! I took my eyes off him because he might tease me for the redness on my cheek.
I mustered up the courage to speak up and ask him questions. "Say, why do you look so sad?" I said without hesitation.
But when he just looked at me and didn't answer the question there I regretted right away why did I even ask him that. He might think why I am prying on his life.
He's just really looking at me! What should I do !?
He took his eyes off me and slowly sat down on the grass and looked at the sky that was dark, not a single star you could even see, it was all black. A dark and gloomy sky.
I just sat down slowly but I didn't take my eyes off him as he did to me.
"Do you understand how it feels to be a wanderer yet have a home?" He wondered.
I was speechless at what he said. The way he said it, he looks so sad.
I bit my lip for I was speechless. For the reason that I felt that way too. You have your own house but yet you feel like you don't belong there. Like a stranger in someone's house.
But you know, there is no use to be sad, to feel alone, to carry the burden of a feeling that is taking a huge toll on you for there are people that are willing to share the pain yours to them.
I don't let my feelings have a way with me because I know it's just a phase of my life that will slowly go away and will vanish. And I could feel that he is suffering, I don't even know how he feels but I want to help him.
I stood up and held out my hand to him, he looked at it and turned his gaze to me he looked curious about what I was doing.
I smiled at him, a huge smile that surprised him. I don't know but I saw how his eyes spark but maybe I was just imagining it.
"Come on! Stand up," I invited him but looks at me hesitantly.
"Come on, dance with me. The earth is spinning. We can not just stand on it." I laughed.
I feel like he's wondering why I suddenly asked him to dance, when I'm sad my dad always invites me to dance and tells me that 'When I'm sad, I should dance so that I can shake the pain and the sadness away.'
I laughed at his reaction to what I said but he suddenly laughed, a cute laugh that made me feel a tickling sensation but I ignored it.
He took my hand and looked straight into my eyes.
"Okay then, let's dance." He chuckled.