So I'm 6 now, it's been a few months of the same old thing. Just getting rid of monsters and getting food as time passes by. I didn't think it would be this hard to just go through daily life without my parents. If I could only punch my past self in the face. The despair of not having anyone to talk to is really starting to get to me. However today marks the 6 month anniversary of living on my own. Therefore, I guess today is the only day I've allowed myself to be sad for what happened that day.
A week earlier as I was trying to prepare for today, I thought of even having this drink that my mother used to have all the time. It's called astral vodka, boy does this stuff do a number on you. I started drinking it 3 hours ago, I think, now I'm having a conversation with this tree. It has a similar outline to that of a face and since I've been longing for for someone to talk to the past 6 months.
"What are you looking at, eh?"
Of course there was no response but my I felt so nauseous that everything around the world seemed so far from me. Losing the faith in my five senses, I thought it might just because I didn't even have the ability to have a coherent conversation. Instead of doing the sensible thing though, I continued the conversation with the unmoving face of a tree.
"Well of course you wouldn't even want to talk to someone as disgusting as me... but look I've been looking for some type of connection, anything that even resembles it. So would you do me a favor and just look past all that?"
Again, no response. This was starting to get old to drunk me so I began just letting loose on all the pent up frustrations and sorrow I was experiencing. While this may have been something only a crazy person with no connection to the real world would do, looking back it may have been just what I needed. The tree and I had some great conversation (not according to the tree), as I sat there about to spew out all of my insides. I learned something, connection wasn't something that I needed or wanted, it was survival. As the world lived according to survival of the fittest those things needed to be discarded and shoved into a deep dark place that not even my drunk self could pull out.
As the night wore on though, all of the food that I had been gathering for the past week disappeared. Leaving only the dusty remains of my wooden plates, not even a crumb to offer for the goddess of death.
When I thought of that, my head began swarming even more than before, even causing myself to think she was right there with me.
"Weird how this stuff can happen" I thought aloud. But when I finished the sentence her dark eyes seemed to warm me up, even the darkest parts of my chilly heart. By this time my consciousness began fading. She stayed there looking at me with such pity, the last thing that I remember before darkness filled my vision was her cradling me in her arms. Thinking that I never wanted her to let go, she began apologizing. For what? I couldn't even think of one reason why she would apologize for. The last words she said forever imprinted on my brain.
"How could I let two of my most faithful followers fall into such a desperate circumstance?" her face turning into a dark scowl as she said it.
I woke up that morning feeling like entire body was about to fall over and die, in fact that's what I wanted. I looked around trying to find something that could help me remember the night, unfortunately it was the bottle of liquor that I made. It was in fact almost gone. Ah, that's right I couldn't stop drinking, thinking that this feeling could help to escape the grief that wouldn't leave me. As I recalled the nights events, there was no trace of grief, there was however a hotness rising from my face remembering that I spilled out my entire life story to a part of the tree I was living in that had 3 separate dark spots. Then as my mind did the work of remembering everything while I was still in complete embarrassment over what happened. The words that kept popping into my head became clear, "How could I let two of two of my most faithful followers fall into such a desperate circumstance?" That explained why I felt as though my heart didn't feel so golden, almost like the world revolved around me, instead it felt like the world was under my complete control.
When I fought a monoghoul a little later in the day, a one eyed pale looking humanoid with two sets of arms, I felt no fear of what was to come out of the battle.