Flora's palms were slick as she pressed them flat on the door, her hands turning red from the pressure. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she gasped for air. Flora's heart was racing, with no sign of slowing down. The room felt less like a safe haven, and more like cage. She felt like a wild animal backed into a wall. Without being able to focus her mind, her thoughts were scattered about the place. What the hell just happened? That woman STABBED that guard; she saved Flora from... what that man was about to...
The air Flora was breathing felt like hot coals down her throat, each breath more painful than the last. Her chest was tightening so much it felt like it was going to explode; her whole body felt like it was going to explode. Calming down was not an option right now. Her legs buckled underneath her as one of the door's to Felix's chamber banged open. Panic swarmed over her as her vision blurred. Oh shit... OH SHIT...
BANG! BANG! BANG! "WHO IS IN THERE?!?" One of Felix's guards shouted. He pounded on the door again. "If you don't open the door, we will force our way in!" Again, he beat on the door with a violent force. Suddenly there was a pause as he took a few steps back. Muffled through the door, he said, "go get the ram. We can't take much time on this."
Flora didn't even process any of the commands screamed at her. She curled herself into a ball, clutching her chest. If she could only just BREATHE. Her fingers ripped at the fabric clinging to her chest, she just wanted OUT. The sound of ragged breathing was deafening, filling the room. Blackness flooded into her vision as her mind went deeper and deeper into herself. She felt like she was going to die.
While Flora was on the floor trying to breathe, there was a shuffling on the other side of the door. There were two sets of footsteps heavily sounding towards the bedroom door. One voice called out, "On the count of three!" There was a small scuttling of the two men adjusting themselves. "One... two... three!" As soon as he reached three, there was a thundering boom on the door, cracking the frame slightly. Flora didn't even notice the bang as she lay crumpled on the floor. "Again!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Felix's roared from the opposite end of entry room. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" He stomped up to what must have been right in front of the two men.
A small thud came from the sound of the battering ram being placed down on the ground. "Sorry, your highness, but this is an urgent matter. There is an intruder in there who ran into your bedroom and locked the door!" His voice was low, but firm.
"What did this intruder look like?" Felix asked as he came and put his ear to the door.
Again there was the scuttling of feet as one man answered, "we didn't see them too well, but it looked like a girl."
Felix voice rose in outrage, "you did not even look at this person?" He listened into his bedroom where Flora still lay gasping for air. "That was probably my sister who is obviously in distress, and you thought it necessary to use brute force instead of getting me?!?" He pulled out a key and quickly unlocked the door, hesitantly opening it. A beam of light shown on Flora as the door opened. Felix surged toward Flora, turning her over so he could see her. "Flora!" He shook her gently with little response, her eyes were rapidly scanning the room. "What's wrong Flora? It is all right just breathe." Felix lightly scooped her up into his arms, pausing as he beheld her trembling body. "Oh my gods," he turned to the two guards. "Go get the physician immediately."
Felix took Flora and set her on top of his bed, propping her up with pillows. "Flora," he tenderly stroked her back. "You are alright. It will will be alright." Felix must have dealt with situations like these before; he knew that he must calm her down before he could see what was wrong. "Flora, please look at me," his voice was soft as he cupped her face.
Flora struggled to pull herself out of the black abyss she was thrown into. She didn't even know what was going on anymore, all she knew was pain. The sound of Felix's voice started to calm her down, although she still struggled to take in air.
"Flora, it's me, Felix," he spoke in a soothing tone, rubbing her back in a constant motion. "You are safe. I'm here." Slowly, Flora gained focus back in her eyes and looked at Felix, pleading for help. "You are alright Flora, just take it slow." He continued to comfort her as her breathing slowed down into a more regular rhythm. She tried to ask Felix a question, but he stopped her. "Just focus on breathing right now." She slightly tilted her head in response, taking slow, deep breaths. "Now that is better. Answer yes or no, are you hurt?" Flora didn't quite know how to answer him, but she shook her head no. "Alright, good. Just stay here, the doctor is coming soon."
After a few minutes of Felix soothing Flora, there was a thundering of foot falls in the hallway outside. The physician burst through the door taking in the situation. "What happened here your highness?"
Felix calmly responded, "I am not for certain. All I know is that Flora ran inside of here, locking the door behind her, and I found her hyperventilating on the floor. She was basically nonresponsive, and is still very disoriented." He did not stop rubbing her back as he conversed with the doctor. "There is blood on the front of her dress, but it doesn't look like it is spreading. It is unlikely that it is hers."
The physician had jumped to examine Flora as she lay there silent on her side. "I am going to touch your chest your highness, is that alright." Flora's eyes trailed to his, but she couldn't vocalize a response. Again, she tilted her head slightly. The doctor ran his hands gently down her front, pulling pieces of the dress off of her skin. "There are no wounds on her. It seems that the blood is only on the top portion of the fabric, so it is not hers." He looked at Flora as he asked steadily, "are you hurt anywhere your highness?"
At this point, Flora had gained back total awareness of the situation. Her heart, however, still beat out of her chest, and she still shook from adrenaline. It was still difficult for Flora to verbally respond to the doctor, so she just shook her head no.
"Where you afraid of something your highness?"
At this moment, Flora realized, she had been crying, because fresh tears rolled down her already damp cheeks. A stiff sob escaped her a she nodded a yes. Her face felt hot and sticky as she went to wipe the tears from her eyes. All of what had just happened came flooding back over her, causing a new wave of tears.
"It seems that her highness has just suffered a panic attack," the doctor addressed Felix. "From what, I will leave you to figure out your highness." He looked Flora over one more time. "Her highness does not have any other injuries, so I recommend her to lay down and rest for awhile." The physician packed up his bag, and bowed before exiting the room.
Felix had not moved from his spot, where he was calming Flora down. The two stayed like that for a while as Flora drifted off to sleep. She was woken up by Felix as he softly spoke, "Flora are you alright?"
Flora licked her dry lips, speaking for what felt like the first time in forever, "yes."
"Are you able to tell me what happened?" Felix addressed her as if she were a wounded animal. She supposed she was.
She took a moment to collect her thoughts. Her body felt heavy, as if she had just run a hundred lengths and more. Flora's voice was raspy as she recounted the events up until Felix had found her. How she had looked for Felix, how a drunken guard had cornered her, and hesitantly, how she was saved by a servant with a kitchen knife.
As she finished her story, Felix's face contorted into that of rage. "How dare someone attack you like that?!?" His face was a deep scarlet as his fury built. Felix jumped off of the bed and headed toward the door. "I am locking you in here and stationing two more men to guard you while I look for this piece of shit." He turned back at her before leaving saying, "you stay here where you are safe. Get some rest."
* * *
Over the next few days, Flora was forbidden from leaving her chambers. More guards than usual were stationed around her part of the castle, and only Rose was permitted to enter her chambers without Felix's permission first. As Felix was busy dealing with the aftermath of the war, it was basically impossible for Flora to get any visitors.
She wondered what had happened to the man that had attacked her. Did he manage to flee? Did that stab wound overtake him? Flora mulled over this for some time, eventually coming to the conclusion that Felix had probably taken care of him by now. She was confident that she wouldn't be troubled by him ever again, but that didn't stop her from experiencing bouts of crippling anxiety.
The worst thing that had come from the last few days were the nightmares. She would wake in the middle of the night slick with sweat and screaming. Each and every time, Flora could feel herself pinned beneath that man. Sometimes, the woman never came... and Flora... she wouldn't be saved. When she would wake up, Flora wouldn't know where she was. It still felt like she was in that hallway, and she needed to flee.
Rose had taken to sleeping on the sofa in the sitting room so she could run to Flora's side when she woke up from a fit. She would light candles and hold Flora until she calmed down. Rose had tried using sleeping drafts on Flora to keep her asleep, but Flora would always wake from those terrible dreams. No amount of those drafts kept Flora from dreaming.
Eventually, Flora was able to take short naps without having these terrible nightmares, but they still crept up on her late at night. It took quite some time, but Flora was finally starting to get a hold of herself. One of the main things that kept her from falling further into fear was the thought that Felix was protecting her. He may not be around her, but she knew that he would come at a minute's notice if she needed.
As Flora was lounging in her sitting room, reading a novel about a prince from make believe country, there were four sharp raps on the door. She shot up, immediately realizing who was at the door. Flora ran to the door to greet Felix, a wide smile on her face. It had been over a year since Felix had come to her chambers. Were things going to take a turn for the better?
When the door opened, Felix stood in the door frame for a moment, analyzing Flora's state. Flora was taken aback by how worn he looked. She hadn't really gotten a chance to see Felix when she was in his bedroom, because she was focused on other things. As she looked him over, a pit developed in her stomach. Felix seemed like a totally different person from the exhausted person she had talked to in the hallway months ago. He was clearly not alright.
He moved to let himself in without a word, positioning himself in a chair across from Flora's reading sofa. Flora stepped lightly around him as she sat down in her spot, adjusting her skirts. She opened her mouth to speak, but Felix beat her to it, saying, "that man is dead." Flora sat in stunned silence in the moment between his words. "You are safe now."
Flora did not expect Felix to come and talk about this to her. He had always had the "brush it off" type of personality. Felix never chose to talk to Flora about ugly things. Maybe he had tried to shelter her in the past. Flora scanned his face for traces of what was going inside of his mind, the restlessness apparent. Felix's eyes kept darting about the room as if he were worried that something might spring out of the shadows. He shot his eyes to the door as Flora asked, "Is everything alright?" He didn't respond, so Flora tried again, "is there something that you wanted to talk to me about?"
Felix scratched at his arm, his leg bouncing on the carpet. "Nothing Flora. I just wanted to see if you were alright." His eyes didn't meet hers as he spoke. His jitteriness was noticeable all over his body, from his nervous glances, to his twiddling thumbs.
"Felix, you're worrying me." She moved to sit by his side.
"I'm fine!" Felix yelled, causing Flora to flinch back. He cleared his throat, gaining back his composure. "I mean, there is nothing wrong; I just haven't slept much lately." He took a deep breath and stilled his body. "I just wanted to see your face." Felix gave her a half-hearted smile. "I missed my baby sister."
Trying to make sense of the situation, Flora slowly started, "I missed you too Felix." She could no longer see his body moving with anxiety, so she supposed he really was alright and just tired. Flora didn't really know what to say next. "So, is everything working out with cleaning up after the war?"
"No."
After he provided no further explanation, Flora continued the conversation, "so are you really busy then?" He shook his head yes in response, but didn't say anything. It shouldn't really have been a surprise to Flora that things were so awkward between them. She hadn't really spoken to Felix in a year, and he had gone through so much with the war. Flora needed to change the subject. "Would you like to hear about the novel I'm reading?" As Felix responded yes, Flora launched into a dramatic retelling of her story, never coming back to the topic of Felix's wellbeing or the war. He probably wanted to escape from it all, so she let him.