As I started up my morning with some coffee and breakfast made by Josh's mom, I treated myself to buttering some toasts. Just sitting in this small slightly cramped kitchen with aunt Kathy, made me miss my old house back in my hometown. But I much preferred this place with its tiny table that could barely hold a bunch of plates for four people, a sufficient living room with a sofa paired with a normal television, and the balcony which I would frequent to smoke. It was cozy.
Kathy: You're up early today, Mako. Do you need to do something early for school?
Mako: Yeah, my friggin counselor told me to do some stupid crap with some girl. So I'm heading there first so I don't see her.
Kathy: Now, Mako. Even if you hide your curses like that I still know what it means. You should stop that bad habit of yours already.
Mako: I can't help it! It's just me expressing myself better.
Kathy: You kids are so strange now. Though I do envy the freedom of cursing sometimes. But that's just unlike me after all. Anyways, have a good day, Mako dear. I have to wake up the rest of the family.
Mako: On my way out now!
Kathy: Be safe.
I took my leather school bag then headed off to school. Usually I would need to commute but since it was early, I could spare some time to walk instead. Normally, my route would consist of taking a bus to school to save up on time. However, this felt like a pleasant morning to walk. The wind was just perfect as well as the clouds covering the sweltering sun.
Just as I was about to say that, a black sedan started to slow down next to me. My anxiety started to rush in like torrents of water through a dam! But the moment the windows rolled down, I immediately wanted to vomit. Behind the glass was Mera, she had a glowing smile as she tied up her hair with a ribbon. Her dad was in the front trying his best to give off a casual smile. The problem was that Mera's dad innately looks serious which makes his smile feel threatening. But a free ride is a free ride. I opened up the front seat then made myself comfortable.
This was my actual first time riding in a car to go to school. A luxury that only people like Mera can have. Guess my rage was starting to get the better of me again. Everyone was already dressed up for something even Ojisan. He always seems to be over dressed for something and that includes giving a car ride. Normally, no would think someone that looks like a CEO would drive a car but here it is.
Ojisan: I didn't know that you lived quite close to my other businesses.
Mako: Which one?
Ojisan: I run a local supermarket as well. It's called the Sleeping Giant because it's a big local community market with an actual garden inside for produce. It's pretty popular around the area.
Mako: Must've missed it because I don't do groceries. But I've seen people carrying the tote bags. You sure love the word sleeping, Ojisan.
Ojisan: Well I guess you could say it's more of an homage to something. So do you live by yourself? I know that there are some students that moved from the countryside to school in Polarity. It would be worrisome if you haven't been eating right.
Mera: I don't think pressuring for details from Mako like that is good, dad. She tends to be a bit fris-
Mako: Oh I was originally from the countryside too actually. But I wanted to leave and school in the city. I wanted to break out of my shell early. I knew I wasn't going to go anywhere if I didn't.
Mera: Huh!?
Ojisan: What is it, Mera?
Mera: Nothing. It's just that Mako is being unnaturally sharing…
Ojisan: You still haven't answered my question actually. Are you alone? A high school girl like yourself in an apartment doesn't sit well with me as a parent.
Mako: Don't worry about it, Ojisan! I live with someone I know. They're a nice family, so don't worry about me.
Ojisan: Ah, I see. Just wanted to make sure all of my employees are safe. Tell me what you're going to do for your future and I might be able to help you out if you're so concerned about it. You've been quite a help to my businesses but most importantly my family, I want to help you out too.
Mako: I don't want to impose anything on you, Ojisan. It's only natural that I do my best for my boss.
Ojisan: Always so polite, but it'll be my pleasure to help you out. From what I've heard from my daughter, she said that you love writing.
My guts felt like I was being beaten with a bat. Why did it feel like I was betrayed!? Wasn't it not explicit enough that I didn't want people to know or anything! I looked back to my seat and Mera lit up a thousand watt smile thinking she did the right thing. Part of me wanted to strangle her! But I couldn't let my rage take a better of me especially in here!
Mako: Well… It was supposed to be something private amongst us girls y'know… I feel quite embarrassed about it now…
Ojisan: Oh my bad! I didn't think it was something you were hiding. Gomenasai.
Mako: Don't worry about it, Ojisan. I should've been more careful telling Mera that she should've been private about it.
Ojisan: Well, now that I know, I can talk to some people and have them read your work. Professionals in their own right, free of charge of course. You might even be able to get a referral to join the Golden Hermes writing contest. I'd fully support you, Mako-kun.
Mako: Quite generous of you, Ojisan. I'll consider it.
Ojisan: Well if you do, let Mera know right away.
After nodding, I just wanted to roll up in a ball and die. My fists were pretty much in pain from how much I've been putting pressure on them. There goes another reason to make me absolutely hate Mera!
As we reached our destination, we said our goodbyes to Mera's dad. I didn't even waste a single second here and just headed straight to Morris' office. Mera was on my tail as she kept talking about something I just didn't give a fuck about. From the looks of it, she kept trying to apologize or something.
Reaching the office, I pulled the spare key from my bag and opened the door quickly. As I entered, I immediately turned around to see Mera trying to enter. Before she could get even close, I slammed the door right at her face then locked it. She kept trying for the knob but it was already too late. Mera pounded the door, as I just backed away from it.
Mera: Mako! Please talk to me! I'm sorry already! I didn't know! I just thought-
Mako: SEE! That's the problem! You thought! I never asked you to think! I just wanted you to shut up and listen to me! I know I never said anything about it but you should have an ounce of fucking knowledge how much my privacy means to me!
Mera: Please! I just wanted to make you happy! Open the door please!
Mako: No! Go away! You'll never understand how much this fucking hurts! You might think it's something insignificant that you told someone that I write but it's much fucking more than that!
Mera: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you like that!
Mako: No! No! NO! This is what happens when I don't fucking pay attention for a second!
Mera: Mako…
Mako: You'll never know how it feels to pour your feelings into something and keep it for so long! What did I expect to happen?
Mera: Well you were going to tell people eventually! So please open the door and let's talk!
My head went completely blank again. It was like I went into overdrive and I didn't have control of my body anymore. Everything seemed to appear in third person, because I just saw my body open the door and punched Mera square on the face! It was so quick that I realized that I was the one that did that. Mera fell on the floor in tears.
Mako: How dare you say that! And I thought I was the mean one! You're actually a piece of shit that doesn't know anything! It doesn't matter "when" I was going to say it, it only mattered to when "I" was going to say it! That moment doesn't belong to anyone but me! I don't fucking care if you just told your dad! I never even told my parents! That responsibility doesn't belong to you! Even if you figured it for yourself, you don't have a single right to say it to anyone else like some kind of gossip! That's why…. That's why…
There was nothing more to say… I just slammed the door again. Maybe I was overreacting, but I knew deep down that it doesn't matter if I did. To me, this was something private that I only wanted a few people that I knew would appreciate. All I know is that this was mine, no one else's to say anything about, even if it's just writing. It was all I had...
As I touched my face, I didn't realize that I had a flood of tears streaming down. Guess it hurt more than I thought it would. So this is what it's like to actually be hurt to tears. I always see people get hurt with my words but this is how they feel somehow? No, this was different, very much different.
I just sat by the door as I just started to let it all out silently. I wasn't in any mood to do anything anymore.
Mako: I should have never met you...