~Chapter 22~
Mae understood little about what she could see, for nothing about the nightscape made any logical sense. As far as Mae could see, there was nothing but darkness, but she was standing in the middle of a field of a light-grey fog, that was near waist deep. It appeared to be self-luminating, and moved and shifted in what to her, seemed an unnatural way. It heaved and rolled around and towards her, like waves in an ocean, and swells moved along the surface, as if something alive was just beneath.
"Nimaro, is that you?" she asked whatever she thought was moving around.
"I am here," Nimaro replied, his distinct voice echoing back.
She breathed a sigh of relief, feeling more at ease now that she knew he was near.
"Where are you? I can't see anything in this fog."
"I am before you. Your perception will take time to adjust. Here you are only as you think yourself to be. You are your consciousness, as I am mine. Right now, you have so little form. Do you imagine yourself to be so small?"
"I must be small, because I've felt so small lately."
"You are a grain of sand in an endless sea. Is that truly how small you feel?"
"In this place, yes," she replied as a swell brushed passed her.
"I see, then allow me to change that for you."
Mae didn't know what to expected, and without any further warning, the darkness that seemed to stretch on forever, was suddenly acting as a small dome, and she felt much larger. She felt like she was inside of a tent, and as she looked down the fog was now gone, and she was sitting on a sleeping bag that was beneath her. Reaching back, there was a pillow. Glancing up, she could make out the canvas and mesh vent of the four-person tent, she and Jack owned.
"Is this better?" Nimaro's voice sounded from next to her.
"I don't even care how you did it," she replied as she felt compelled and crawled down into the sleeping back, setting her head onto the pillow. "This is amazing."
Rolling onto her side her eyes adjusted to the dark, and she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. Reaching out she set her hand against what she thought to be Jack's cheek.
"Jack…" she whispered, closing her eyes she lunged at him, attempting to kiss him, only for there to be nothing.
Sitting up she looked around, she was still in the tent, and now something large was shifting from within the sleeping bag.
"Koobs?" she questioned, opening the bag as a large black dog rolled back against her side. "It's you."
Her heart would have shattered had she been more than just consciousness as she wrapped her arm over Koobs, laying back down burying her face into the back of his neck, only for her to find, he had no smell. Nor could she feel the softness of his fur nor his breath on her hand, or the sliminess of his drool as he lapped at it.
"Please stop this," she pleaded.
"It is painful for you?"
"Yes, because this isn't real. I can see and hear, but I have no sense of touch, smell, or taste."
"That is how you can tell this realm a part from reality. In a physical body you can not stay long in this place, otherwise you can become lost in a false reality. I am sorry this has pained you. You miss them and this is all the nightmare can do for you. It can show you things as they are, but it will not make them real."
Looking towards the tent's door, a strange black cloud with shifting tendrils hovered over the end of the sleeping bag.
"The Ni'eelis, or fog creatures, won't bother us in here now," Nimaro's voice came from the cloud.
"Is this… is this what you really look like?"
"I look as my hosts look. I have no true tangible form. What you're seeing is a representation of how I perceive myself."
Mae watched as the small cloud began to shift its form, elongating, forming a head, arms, legs, tail, mouth, eyes, and akress, no larger than she.
"Is this better?" he asked as he laid down next to her.
"Yes," she replied, smiling at how adorable he was. "So, what is this place exactly?"
"The nightscape is the mirror reflection of the dreamscape. Opposites sides of the same plane, so to speak," he remarked as he cut through the sleeping bag and tent floor between them with his claw, pulling the two sides apart to reveal a source of bright light. "The dreamers guard this barrier endlessly because Sola'nerae has so convinced her followers of our malicious intent. She fears us because we reveal the truth, where she hides behind nothing but lies. She claims herself a goddess and her people the chosen ones, but she and they are no different than the rest of us. We do not care to damage the barrier. We do not wish to corrupt the dream. We are quite content with how things are here, and we need not guard our side as Dreams are too afraid to even try breaching what they protect. I do like to scare them from time to time though. If for no other reason than to annoy Sola."
Releasing the floor and sleeping bag, the hole vanished as if it never were, the inside of the tent turning dark once again.
"It sounds like you don't like her very much."
"I do not. Her people fuel the fear of mine, and Balen'thelm and his people are her puppets. They would hunt my Ji'vie to extinction if given the chance. Sometimes I believe this realm is the only truly safe place for my Ji'vie, but extinction would be less cruel. It may even be less cruel than their current existence which I inflict upon them with my own will."
"At least as they are, they are alive. You can work to change their current predicament, but you can't do that if they don't exist." As she looked at him, she couldn't help but lean closer, causing him to lean back. "I'm sorry, but I just noticed that your jewel was missing. I thought it was part of your body. You look strange to me without it."
"It is a part of my host's body, not me. The jewel creatures, Irejisites, symbiotic parasites that live off the Ji'vie. They are the reason for our hive mind, and they are what I seek to free my Ji'vie from. It is because of them, that my aura cannot be contained, it seeps out through the Ji'vie, and is the reason they are feared as they are. Without the Irejisites, a Ji'vie's normal aura is entirely suppressible with the correct training. The same as it is for all others who choose to vow and follow me."
"Can't these Irejisites be removed?"
"I have removed them from an entire generation, and yet the next are born with them again. I seek to eradicate them permanently, but it is impossible. Every attempt has failed. They are a punishment from Boem'thol for a mistake I made when I was still young. But instead of punishing me, he punished my people as well."
"Will Sotar'ra not help you?"
"He cannot. Boem'thol has warned that if he does, he will create something far worse. As it is, their blood is toxic to my people. If they are removed by force, they kill their hosts. Extracting them properly is an excruciating process. We can never be free of them."
"My world has medications, inoculations, and anti-parasitic drugs. Maybe something in my knowledge can give you a new idea; maybe something different you haven't tried."
"That is my hope also. We rely too heavily on magic while your world survives with none. You are more than you know Mae. If only you could vow to me, maybe you could understand."
"If I tried, what would I gain?" she questioned out of curiosity.
"You would gain my seal. It would give you permanent access to this realm, and to my aura. You would be welcome in the Quarter, and treated as family by all the Ji'vie. You would gain access to the nightmare and all that that entails. You would also be able to choose your elemental path, enhancing your primal element. And no other Aspect could claim anything of you, without going through me, first. You have my protection now, because of our agreement, but that protection would extend beyond your training. My Ji'vie, I, would be able to aid you in your task."
"Doesn't sound like there's a downside to that."
"You will be an enemy of Boem'thol, rather than just some anomaly to be watched. You will be unwelcomed in his cities and shunned in most others. My people may have it easier than my Ji'vie, but they still do not have it easy as the others. Even the Cyb'nyk have chosen their isolation. For us, it is a necessity. Now come, it is time, all you need do is relax and open your mind. I will do the rest."
Laying back, Nimaro's akress moved over her, draping themselves over her forehead, neck, chest, and arms. They were weightless, but she could still feel them like they were poking around on her insides, massaging at her heart and brain. It was a strange feeling that she couldn't quite equate to anything else.
"Now breath Mae, and remember where your story began."
*************
The following morning Mae felt refreshed, despite feeling as if she had just lived her life all over again in a single night. She had been as open and willing as possible when she shared her memories with Nimaro, and like he had suggested, she didn't turn away from the painful, awkward or difficult to watch. She faced even the worst moments of her life from a spectator's seat, and gained a different perspective on the things she had said and done, all with Nimaro at her side, guiding, watching, and comforting her. Nimaro now knew her deepest regrets, intimate secrets, and greatest fears, but he promised to only share her knowledge, joys and fond memories with his Ji'vie. She found comfort in that, since she had been concerned about how they would see her after having her most personal moments shown to them in graphic detail. It was going to be hard enough for her to look Nimaro in the eyes now, but she had paid for the training to come and wouldn't give it up because of what he now knew about her.
Standing on the patio behind the house, she held the black medallion between her hands and following the same ritual from the previous day, Nimaro was once again sitting before her. And behind him, holding his tail, was another Ji'vie, slightly smaller with rounder cheeks and a more purplish tone to his skin, and riding his back, an older Thay woman, with a dark pink skin tone dressed in a navy-blue robe with matching hat and veil, wearing a backpack and holding an armload of books.
"Mae, this is Zoy'iah, she will be your basic trainer. She is a Shade-weaver; a type of magic caster, but you are not beholden to walk the same path. Such decision will come later."
"It is nice to meet you Zoy'iah," Mae remarked with a bow.
"Like wise, Mae," she replied bowing in return.
"And this is Athilaan. He will be assisting you. They have their own means by which to come and go, and you will be training with them daily, every fourth day being for rest. Zoy'iah will keep me informed of your progress, but I will also be monitoring you personally as well."
"I'm glad to hear that, but I was hoping to have a word with you about something before we get started today."
"If you tell me where to go, Laan and I will set up and give you two a moment."
"That would be appreciated," Nimaro remarked as Mae went and opened the back door of the house for them.
"Head through the dining room, take a left, skip the first door and head into the sitting room just past it."
"Thank you," Zoy'iah replied as she went inside, Athilaan behind her.
"What did you wish to speak about?" Nimaro questioned as she moved back and stood before him.
"About last night, before all the memories, you told me about the benefits of vowing to you. Nimaro, I want to try. I want to try and make vows to you."