I sat down and leaned against the wall and closed my eyes and made my count down. It didn't help any how.
Who could rescue me from this ?
I regretted agreeing to come to that place.
I regretted not listening to Jenny.
I regretted meeting the guys.
I regretted being me. I hated myself so fucking much.
My head was spinning and I felt like I would pass out any moment. I had nothing to lose. I had to just do it, because, no one cared about me.
I brought my hand close to my open mouth and. . .
" Troy ! " I saw Jenny heading towards me in a hurry. She looked worried. She squatted near me and slapped my hand away from my mouth and the marijuana dropped. I smiled.
" What is wrong with you ? " she looked pissed.
" You're so drunk " she made a disgusted face.
" I'm not drunk. . . Jenny " I said.
" Just stop I'm so mad at you right now " she said but still looked at me worried.
" I shouldn't have brought you here " she said and tried to help me up.
" Jenny I'm fine now " I said but she didn't listen. She must have thought I was really drunk.
She threw my hand over her shoulder and I withdrew it.
" No. No don't. . .Troy don't do this to me right now " she commanded and put my hand back on her shoulder.
I just withdrew it and instead pulled her towards me by her waist.
She was startled.
" Jenny I'm fine, I'm not drunk, I swear, they just poured alcohol on my shirt and the smoke I'm smelling it's from the that place the guys took me at, I swear I'm not high I just took one drag and ran away from there " she was taken aback by my non stop sentences and the way I told them to her, holding her waist her body on me looking right into those beautiful marbles.
" Let go of me " she pushed me away after some time. I let her go.
She didn't look at me for a good ten seconds.
" So then why did you want my help a while ago looking all drunk and about to die " she looked confident and her eyes are more sharper this time.
" I. . . I was. . . " I looked away and tried to think of any excuse.
" Was it a prank ? " hands on waist, sharp stare.
" No " I immediately said.
" Then ? " she squinted her eyes as if to squeeze the truth out of me.
" Noth. . . nothing, was just. . . it's complicated " I fidgeted with words.
Her eyes were still on me and it was making me break.
" You're hiding something from me " she said sternly.
". . . "
" Just tell me " she said and it sounded like a request not a command like it usually does.
" . . . "
" Troy you can just tell me, it's okay " her voice was soft and I swear I wanted to tell her everything.
' I should tell her 'I thought to myself.
" No she will judge you,stop hanging around you, tell other people and then it will be your life allover again. ' I thought again.
' She would never do that,she's my friend '
' Is she ? '
" Troy. . . " Jenny said and touched my hand softly.
" Why should I ? " I said slowly.
" I can listen "
But you won't understand.
" How can I trust you ? you're not even my friend Jenny and you're always rude to me." I said a little louder than I should have.
I could see she was hurt, she backed off a few steps from me and looked at me unbelievably for a good five seconds.
" Fine " she said and walked off.
What have I done ?
****
I opened my eyes and the light from window hurt them, I closed them again and rotated on my bed and faced the darker side.
Where the fuck I'm I ? I thought and opened my eyes again. They landed on a farmiliar bowl and mug. The steam coming from the mug told me it was tea. The table too seemed farmiliar. Oh right it was the study table in my room, so I was home, in my room. I closed my eyes again and got comfortable.
Wait. . .
Shit. I jumped from my bed with a jerk and rushed to the window and looked outside.
The sun shine like it was midday.
I'm supposed to be at school ?
I backed up a little bit from yesterday and remembered what had happened. After I shouted at Jenny I walked back home slowly I reached home at around 11p.m but mom wasn't home, I was too tired and angry I don't know when I slept and now there I was.
I approached the table and sipped on the tea, it was just warm and that told me it had been put there moments ago. I ate breakfast and then it hit me.
I was still in the same clothes that smelt of alcohol and marijuana and come to think of it the whole room smelt of alcohol and marijuana.
Mom is gonna kill me. I thought and started panicking. I rushed to the bathroom and removed those clothes and then came back and chose some cleaner ones and put them on. I sat on the bed again.
The room still smelt like alcohol.
I was about to search for the room refresher when I heard gentle knowing on my door.
***to be continued...