"She grew up unloved, and became deeply unlovable" — The Lovable Villainess, Chapter Three
...
I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep. My body curled against the wall. It was oddly comforting to have the wall against me. It felt as though I was with someone and when the cold hit, I felt somewhat gross. My body aching as I looked at the mess of blood and glass left behind.
Should I clean it up?
It looked disastrous and since I was going to be here. It would be nice if I could get some new clothes or a place to put the glass. Careful small hands picked up the fragmented pieces.
"What's the use of a heroine if everyone wants a villainess?" I grumbled out loud. A useless heroine. I was truly just here for decoration. How annoying. I was supposed to be a bad person, a wicked woman who was able to use magic to cajole people. Yet, Caesaria didn't know how to use magic until she was brought under the Valentine name.
What was the use?
I wanted to scream as I finished picking up the fragmented glass towards a corner of the room. My throat felt dry, my head pounding. What type of woman would give their kid liquor? "Magic is useless," I cursed as I tried to ignore the pulsating pain that spidered across my back. Were there any glass shards? It hurt, a lot.
I started to understand why Caesaria had become so twisted. The hidden and unexplained motivator. Being alone for what felt like years, was crippling. She had been so desperate for love that she was willing to steal it from anyone.
The Valentine family was kind to Caesaria. They treated her with warmth and thus when Kalypso took some of that love, she grew terrified. She was only a child. Of course, she would have been scared. Inside the small cold room, I drew my knees closer to my chest, attempting to comfort myself. This poor girl slowly translated to, I feel sorry for myself.
Sometimes, after a couple of days, bread and clothes were given. Still, there was no water as my parched throat nibbled on the bread. It tasted stale. Yet, due to the grumbling of my stomach, I was forced to stomach it. I used my old shirt, ripping the torn fabric into bandages to wrap around my body, using the biggest shard of glass as a guide. It was haphazard and I soon realized, the other bandages around my body were also shirts that Caesaria had used.
So I was nine, huh?
I looked outside at the snow-covered grounds. My fingers aching to pull my body further. The window was too tall for my stunted height. I was always so used to being tall.
I was definitely short, stunted from malnutrition and starvation. Sighing, I leaned against the wall again. My eyes wanted to close. It was so boring. Utterly boring being stuck in here as my fingers toyed with the threads of my shirt.
"Should I try?" I mumbled haphazardly, it was a habit I had started to develop. Speaking to myself filled the silence. The suffocating silence of being alone.
How had they described magic?
Trying to close my eyes, I tried to think. Ah, the darned author. I cursed her inwardly in my head. That author should have included a detailed guide on how magic worked! What was the use of describing the male protagonist's eyes or the timbre of their voice?! Useless! They all were useless. Magic had been mentioned and how to channel magic had also been just a brief sentence.
The author and brief sentences. . .I swore on my grave. Sighing, I fiddled with my fingers. Well? It couldn't hurt?
What could I even summon? What could I even do?
"Fire?" I queried as I extended my hand. Nothing happened. I let out a bitter laugh. I should have suspected this. Of course, nothing in this accursed world would be in my favor.
Why did I even come here?
Was there any way to go back?
Was I dead?
There were so many questions in my mind as I flexed my hand, glancing at my tiny fingers. The pain was real enough to remind me that this world was also real. It didn't make sense. There was no rhyme or reason to it all.
The sunlight felt warm against my skin as I closed my eyes scooting closer to the warmth. It felt warm, my skin feeling rejuvenated by the touch of the sun's rays. I don't know what compelled me to do so, but this time, I cupped my hands together, the sun pooling into my hands, "Fire."
All of a sudden, warmth flickered into my hands as my green eyes widened. I fell back, wincing at the pain in my back.
What?
My mind whirred trying to pick up any fragments of information that I could remember. Magic had to come from something. A throwaway line that my hazy mind seemingly brought to the surface. The sun could fuel fire magic. My fingers once more touched the sun as I closed my eyes whispering, "Fire." My fingers danced with flames. The warmth illuminated my skin. I finally felt warm.
Though, what was the use of this? I had no kindling unless I wanted to set the house on fire.
"Ha," I laughed a shaky exhale leaving my lips, "Well," I mumbled. There was no way that I would be able to last here another year. Clenching my fist together, I couldn't help but give a slight chuckle. Well, then I would burn this house to the ground. I was supposed to be a bad person anyway right?
I wouldn't be able to live here for another year but from the looks of it, I was in the attack. If I burned the house down, I would need to somehow run through the flames. The window? If I broke the window and fell down, I would die.
I shivered at the thought as I bit my lip. Even if I burned down the house, I wouldn't be able to escape. I would need to think about this. Well, at least, I had a way to pass the time.