[Show me your dreams Lark. Show me the time before you came to Haven. Show me the colorful road of memories that leads you to me.]
The Voice in my dreams. It was beautiful and angelic. It reminded me of a different soothing voice, one I cannot quite place. The memories of the voice are fractured, but I can always remember that just like the voice of my dreams now, it made me feel warm, and a bit less lonely.
[Take me back Lark. Show me the earliest memories.]
The voice of my dream seemed to skip across my mind, taking me to the memories they asked to see. All I did was think about what she asked, and she guided the way. I remembered back to the port town where I was born, raised, and plated. It was a different place than here at Haven. There were only the Skygge people in my home town.
I remembered back to my time when I was little. I would laugh and play with the other children. Even from a young age I was doted more than all the other Skygge children, as my horns were the most vibrant black. 'It was a sign of a powerful future', were the tales the old women would tell my mother. I still do not know if this was true. Since this time my horns have dulled.
I remember my mother, her mocha skin and curled horns just like mine. Father had left for battle just before I was born, and even if the war had been over for a few years, my mother still waited for his return. I remember the last time I asked my mother about my father, and this time when I asked it made her sad. She said "we will see him again eventually Lark." I was maybe 10 or 11 in this memory. That same day, after breakfast, my mother got back to her work. She helped out around other people's homes, took odd jobs, and received a bit of money from something that I remember being called a 'widow's pension'.
[Think back to earlier Lark. I want to see your earliest memories]
I didn't want to disappoint the voice, but when I try to think back to memories earlier than this, it is hard. I know it is because of the accident.
[Then show me the accident. Show me what tragedy made you into you.]
I was with some friends on the docks of my town, we were fishing. I don't remember much, but it must have been a larger than expected fish that pulled the line and I went into the water. And it was low tide. I remember struggling to reach the surface and hitting my head. Then all was black.
When I was pulled out, the local town healer had focused on breathing air into my lungs and healing the cuts and bruises from the barnacles and rocks, at least from the pieced conversations I am able to recall with the voice' help. I remember waking up several days later, and from there my memories are...fuzzy. Looking back on them in the clarity of this dream, they are a bit clearer, but I know I am filling in the missing details with other, more complete memories.
I remember that the condition had a name. In my hometown it was called 'Permanent Disconnect'. But it is known to those of Haven, my new home, as Persistent Personality Damage.
[Let's pause on your past Lark. Tell me about what you know about this condition. Show me those memories.]
Unbidden, memories flew in. Memories of sitting at breakfast. Another of me sitting in line in Haven. Another playing with a doll. But the voice in my head changed the focus. It did not focus on what I remembered, but what was being said by others at the time.
[Show me the first one]
I was sitting and eating breakfast. My mother was talking to the town healer. "It's too late to fix it now. Had we caught it earlier and called for a more powerful healer from the capital… well let's just focus on ensuring he has the best chance at a good quality of life. I recommend teaching him some of the skills associated with keeping a home. It might help him gain employment upon his Rite of Plating."
I had never focused on the conversation that was being said, but being played back in perfect clarity made me wonder what other things this voice could help me learn. I had never focused on what was said in this memory, but I had remembered that my mother was sad. I did not know why. Now I sort of understood. She wanted the best life for me, and felt that was being taken away. Why could I now understand this?
[It is because I am here that you can begin to understand, and heal. Now, show me the next memory.]
And as suddenly as her request, my memory shifted. It shifted to a more recent memory. It was shortly after my people, the Skygge, had evacuated our homes and were welcomed into Haven. An enemy force was planning to attack Haven, and I was standing next to the girl who had promised to watch over me. Her name was Sute. So when she went to stand in the volunteer line, so did I.
"Lark this line is for… Never mind. You classed fighter, right?" I nodded. Sute continued. "Good. By the grace of the divines, you might be able to survive this."
When the time came for me to be in-processed into the protectorate, the man with the glowing marks looked at my plate and scowled, "You do know his condition, PPD, is untreatable yes? He has the mind of a child. Are you sure he can be trusted with a weapon? We can send him with the other children." I had met this man before. He had been unable to fix my condition. It had upset him enough to remember me. Sute was always kind though, and she petitioned to him. "You can take him in, or I will increase his stats myself, either way, this is his chance to be useful. Don't take that from him."
[Alright, now take to the memory explaining this condition]
My mind raced to today. It recalled the conversation of the doctors. It had mentioned damage to the prefrontal cortex and how the feelers could act as a patch.
[Good! I am on the right track. Now, let's go back to your past, to the memories of your hometown. What about when you plated? Tell me about your coming of age.]
Again, the memories shifted. It was the date of my Rite of Plate, when a Skygge learns his place in Mephasm's embrace. It's when we receive our class, and our calling, based on what we had learned throughout our childhood.
[And what did you focus on during childhood?]
My mind rapidly showed a montage of images, as if explaining to the voice who I was and ho I became this person. Before the accident I had studied the stars and the seas. I wanted to be a Pilot for a waverunner ship, just like my father. However, after my accident I remember my mother showed me around town to the various townsfolk, explaining that I should take any work they can offer even a child. This was because she believed, 'If you do the things they don't want to do, you will always have a job Lark'.
[So how did this affect your rite of plate?]
Upon the day of my plate, instead of one of the commoner classes my mother expected, like 'Servant' or 'Housekeeper', I was classed as 'Fighter'. When my mother was shocked, I smiled at her "Mother you told me to do the things others did not want to do. So i chased and killed the rats in the sewers, the muckrakers along the docks, and even a few of the goblins in the forest."
[I can see why she was shocked. She intended you to live a simpler life, and the townsfolk failed you.]
[Lark, where is your mother now?]
My memories moved to a darker memory. It was the day I arrived in Haven.
The lady Sute had come to our town and purchased sweets for everyone. Some say she was the princess of our people before we came to Haven. On the day we made the crossing, she was standing on a podium talking about 'peace with the Lybringer people'. The crowd that gathered listened intently at her words. My mother held my hand so I did not wander off.
I remembered suddenly feeling a shock. Behind us in the far distance on the horizon, a second sun was blossoming on the ground. It grew and grew and grew without end. When I looked back, I saw that a [gate] had formed where the princess was. The woman who was always with the princess called for the crowd to follow her into the gate.
My mother looked at me "Lark, get us there! Run!"
I remember running, the crowd grew tighter and began moving as a mass. I would get my mother through. I heard her terror, and I would keep her safe. I remember the heat coming. I did not look behind. Those who looked behind wished they hadn't. The closer we moved, the tighter it was. I pushed people forward with my other hand. It worked and people moved through the gate faster. I knew I might just make it.
I remember making it to the [gate] and as I went through i felt my hand burning. When I made it through, I looked down and my trailing hand had been turned to ash. The hand that held my mother's.
My mother's hand was also ash. And it was the only part of her that made it through the gate. I fell down, and the ashes of my mother fell onto the ground and began to spread into the wind. As I looked back through the [gate], I could see the ashen form of her face, eternally smiling, as the [gate] closed. I realize now that she was happy. She was happy I was alive.
The healer who came to heal my arm frowned at my condition. "I can heal your arm, but the damage to your brain is beyond me. I can refer you later to our Lord. Do you understand?"
I pointed at the ground. "Please. Please heal my mother first." There was a bit of ash on the ground. The healer looked near tears. "Hold still sir, I will fix your arm." She was kind. Her skin was white and contrasted with her hair and eyes, which were black as the night sky when no stars are out. She looked at me, "Do you have anyone else?"
I remembered only tears that day.
[Lark, stay calm. You can't let your emotions take control.]
***
Flicking through Lark's memories was difficult. There was severe untreated trauma to several areas of his brain, but it was coming together. I could probably not heal him, but I could at least negate the negative symptoms.
But this was not a child. He was an adult. He had lived the majority of his life with a broken mind. Would he be receptive to treatment? Would he be able to learn all the things that were previously unknown to him. Would he find a good job? Would he find friendship? What about love?
I did not know what the future would hold, but I would work as hard as I could to ensure to earn my place as a passenger of Lark's mind.
***