-Marie's POV-
How did I get here? I don't understand. Why am I feeling this way? Every time he is close I get this warm feeling in my chest and I feel complete. Every time he touches me or holds my hands my heart ponds and I feel a tickling feeling in my stomach. I believe people call it feeling butterflies. Every time he leaves I feel alone, I feel worried I miss him.
Could this mean I am falling in love with him? How is this even possible? All I know is that when he is gone I miss him and when he is here I never want to let him go. I hate it when he goes to do his jobs, I hate it when he fights, and I hate it when I see him hurt.
I can't help but feel worried. I can't sleep, I can't think all I care about is him arriving home safe. I sit there and wait until he gets back. He hates that. He tells me I shouldn't worry, he says I shouldn't wait up for him and I should get some sleep but I just can't I have to make sure he is safe. I have to feel his arms around me when I sleep. Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same. If not I wouldn't be here, right?
I am genuinely happy with him. He treats me like a princess. But that there is another thing that worries me, ever since that night he no longer calls me his princess and it worries me. I am starting to think that maybe he no longer cares for me in that way. Maybe he does not feel the same way about me as I do about him. Maybe he is getting tired of me.
I know for a fact that he does not trust me. It has been over two weeks and I am yet to see him without a mask. He does not trust me enough to show me who he really is. I have tried to get him to reveal himself, I have asked plenty of times but he only tells me that I am not ready yet? I'm not ready? What does that even mean?
"Hey" he speaks from behind me as I am lost in thought while watching the television. I turn to look at him and respond a "hey" back. "Are you ok? You seemed gone?" I can hear a hint of worry in his voice but I know that I can't tell him the truth. I mean how am I supposed to tell him that even though I am happy I am here with him I miss going to school. I miss seeing my parents and speaking to them about my day.
That I still feel like part of me is missing without them. That I at least want so see them from time to time. How do I tell him that I hate it when he commits crimes, that I miss him when he is gone, that I am happy when he is around me hugging me, and that I think I am starting to fall in love with him even though it hurts to know that he doesn't trust me enough to reveal his identity to me? I can't, I just can't.
"Marie?" my thoughts are once again interrupted by the sound of his voice. "Umm, yeah?" I asked nervously. "I asked you if you were ok but I can see maybe I got my answer." "No I am ok, yeah I am great" I reply obviously lying. I can see in his eyes that he knows I am lying so I guess I might as well tell him some of the truth but which part exactly.
"Marie, you are lying. I know you better than that." And there it is. I knew he had caught me. I can hear a hint of hurt in his voice and I hate it when I hurt him that is something I don't want to do again. Well here goes nothing.
"Yeah you're right I am lying. I'm sorry but I know that this might hurt you and I don't want that." I really don't I can't tell him I love him, I am afraid if I do I will lose him but if I tell him about missing my parents I know he will think I don't want to be with him and that's not true. "Marie, don't worry about me. Please tell me what's wrong" his voice was so sincere God this is why I like this man so much.
"It's just I saw my parents on the news again. I miss them so much. After all this time they are still searching for me. I hate to see them suffer like this. I wish I could see them, hug them, and let them know that I am ok and that they don't have to keep searching for me. I want to visit them sometime and tell them I love them. I- I just miss them so much." Tears filled my eyes as I told him about my parents. I really just wanted to see them and hug them. I look up to see pain in his face and that hurts me. That's why I didn't want to tell him.
Shadow Cat proceeded to sit beside me and takes my face in his hands cleaning my tears with his thumbs. "I am so sorry. This is my entire fault, I have been so greedy, I only thought of myself not thinking of the damage I would cause you or your family. I wanted to have you by my side and to keep you safe. I am truly sorry. So if you want you-"
I knew exactly what he would say. He would leave me, he would take me home and I would probably not see him again. Can't he see I am falling in love with him? He can't just leave me, not now. I decided to interrupt him.
"NO!" I almost yelled out startling him. "Don't finish that sentence, please." He looked at me confused. So I decided to continue. "Shadow that's not what I want, I don't want to leave you. I just want to see my family. I want to be able to visit them" he inhaled deeply as a sign of relief which made me smile. Maybe he does feel the same after all. "I'll find a way for you to see them without putting you or myself in danger I promise" he whispered before getting up and walking out.
I got not sleep all night. I could not get the face of pain he made when I told him out of my head. I couldn't understand why he would have just let me go like that. Not to mention I could hear him pacing in his room. He did not get any sleep either and it was all because of me. I hurt him again. After I said I didn't want to after I said I wouldn't I did but couldn't help it I really missed my family. This is the first time I have been without them for so long and seeing them worried asking out community for help on finding me broke me.
My eyes are really red and puffy. There are dark circles under them making the lack of sleep evident. I decided to get up and clean myself up trying to hide it before Shadow would come up for breakfast like he normally does. Not long after I hear a knock on my door. As I open the door I see him standing there looking just as bad as me and it really get to me. Even with his mask hiding half of his face the lack of sleep was as clear as water. I frowned knowing I am the cause of it.
I noticed this time he did not have breakfast; In fact he was dressed as if he was going out. I began to get worried. I hope he is not thinking about going to do a job knowing he has not gotten any sleep this is insane. "Hey" I spoke up faking a smile. One that he does not return like he usually does. His face showed no emotion whatsoever and that makes me worry even more. "Come on" he says before making a sign for me to follow. I followed with no hesitation. I am not sure what is going on but I know I can trust him. That was until the unexpected happened.